Separated, how much should I provide?

rpc

twiglet98 wrote: »

Do use a postal service requiring a signature on delivery - Signed For/Recorded does not guarantee next day delivery, just a signature when delivered; Special Delivery is more expensive but it will be delivered the next day - they are trackable online.

But if ex thinks something is coming and wants to avoid it, they can refuse delivery by not signing. Lack of a signature would be proof of non-delivery which would cause trouble in an English court.

The advice usually given on the housing forum, if you want pretty much bulletproof evidence, is to post two copies first class (not signed for). Do it from two different post offices and get proof of posting for each.

A court might be sympathetic to one letter going missing. Two letters from different post offices? Not likely.

quidsy

Agree with rpc, no signed for required, just 2 different post office 1st class with proof of postage.

JackRS

twiglet98 wrote: »

Do use a postal service requiring a signature on delivery - Signed For/Recorded does not guarantee next day delivery, just a signature when delivered; Special Delivery is more expensive but it will be delivered the next day - they are trackable online.

God help any future man your ex gets her claws into. She is a disgrace to her gender and more importantly, a disgrace to your children, to be so viciously determined to destroy their father.

Is she working at the school - presumably just term time, so she can look forward to the long summer holiday but the time off will be unpaid?

ETS going BR sounds an option to consider...

Sorry don't understand your last line ETS ?? BR??
Please forgive my ignorance.....

quidsy

Bankrupt.


If you want to mess up your chances of buying a house, I would advise against it. You will also still have a decent lot of money from the house sale left so it probably wont even be an option

sidefx

JackRS wrote: »

Sorry don't understand your last line ETS ?? BR??
Please forgive my ignorance.....

BR = Bankrupt is what I think the poster is suggesting Jack.

JackRS

I normally pay CSA sum around my pay day (25th) not that we had an agreement in place. This month I delayed it to the 1st of the month (today) in line with what was detailed on the proposal letter all be it not accepted. I also sent ex the email about the car return on Saturday.

This weekend my daughter had her mum visiting her so I wasn't surprised to get a text from her expressing concern.

She asked what's going on with Mum and why I was no longer paying her/providing a car? I did prepare a long explanation about how there was no agreement in place as she hadn't accepted my proposal etc etc but decided better to speak to her and explain the current situation. She's going to let me know when's a good time to discuss, maybe tonight.

sidefx

Beggars belief what your ex expects from you!!!

And more disturbingly that she involves your daughter....so so very very wrong.

I hope your daughter understands Jack, good luck.

Lunar_Eclipse

[QUOTE=JackRS;68509795
She asked what's going on with Mum and why I was no longer paying her/providing a car? [/QUOTE]


I would be tempted to keep your explanation short, starting with a polite version of it's none of your business. Everything you tell her will go straight back to your ex, who has possibly put your daughter up to asking (deliberately or self consciously) so be very mindful of that.

'It's nothing for you to worry about love and I hope your mum hasn't concerned you unduly. As you know, we're negotiating our financial settlement. Your mum declined my (best and final) offer, so everything is still in the hands of the solicitors and court. I assure you I am not avoiding any of my financial obligations to her (to the point where I have been advised to declare bankruptcy.*)


* which is true on this thread. You'll have a better idea as to whether you should say that or not in terms of what the likely outcomes of saying it might be.

duchy

If my ex hadn't let me know arrangements had changed and child support was absent after a week -and there was disagreement between us- to be fair Jack I'd assume you weren't paying either. Especially if at the same time you sent me a letter saying the car had to go back and there was currently no replacement forthcoming.

ExMrsJ wants to think the worst of you and so it was natural she'd put the worst motives to your actions. Trouble is because you've still not (in her eyes) paid until daughter chased you up for it -the damage is done. I do think you decided to maybe let her sweat with money coming late with no explanation but I think it has maybe rebounded and made her think your daughter is the key to getting you to respond -and she'll try and involve her more.

Sorry Jack I know that isnt what you want to hear but really if you were changing the date of payment you should have let her know.

For now - you explain you changed the date - although frankly it sounds thin that you changed the date with no notice - to fit in with an arrangement that isn't yet made. I can see why your daughter wouldn't be impressed -if it was my Dad I wouldn't be either- as for the car explain the logistics and the fact your Mum wants the lease included in the agreement so it can't be signed until the marital financial agreement is signed so there will be a break between the old and the new car depending on when her Mum signs off the financial agreement.

The second is explainable - the first is trickier - trouble is it has given her the excuse to say "Nasty man isn't paying for his child AND has taken my car away- all at the same time"

Marisco

I'd also be very tempted to tell my daughter that it was none of her business! But I'd probably say that it was time her mother started to stand on her own two feet, pay for her own car, and stop being such a sponge, in the sure knowledge it would get back to the ex!!