Separated, how much should I provide?

ampersand

Hello Jack, just in from compline ...again :-)

D'accord with kelpie, sallysaver and duchy.[esp.'informing, not asking' re: solicitor's flesh demands]

These hit me:
Solicitor fees preparing FDR £1365 - who did most of that? [clue: name begins with J, ends with RS] exacerbated by need to correct and gee things along.

50% actuaries report £900 - is this broken down showing any of the delays/re-starts as a factor? You supplied most of this, more than once.
#
Have just seen posts #2763 on[out electioneering, nearly over - 4am start demain:-)]but v. glad you didn't text, while understanding reluctance to generate further cash cow reminder letters.
From the outset, your solicitor[even this 2nd-rate replacement] should have set the agenda and standard by her accuracy, language, tone and clear timelines and deadlines. She has further failed in her duty to you, in that the other side have never had any sense of her batting hard and forcefully for you, or stringent repercussion for failure to acknowledge or adhere to such set conditions.

Of course she can't backdate a fee increase if you were not advised of it in advance, thereby denied the option to end use of her 'services.'

Was that unopened letter dated 1 May therefore?

On top of that, the increase on 1st estimate could well be 50% i.e. £8kmax>£12k...? the cause of which we have seen here, often in disbelief and shared despair, over 25 long months - and still not done.

What sort of efficiency rating is that? Grotesque.

Jack, please don't further soften that over-generous offer.

Rather, tighten it: discourage the games.

To think we might all be celebrating Jack's new house in July...now that will be something.

duchy

Hope you get your right result tomorrow ampersand in your constituency after all your hard work.

Hold your nerve Jack !

ampersand

Thankyou duchy - *please excuse this mild hijack, Jack:-)
#
This mser, dressed fully in red, has just spoken with NZ famberley, asking them to pray for me, us, this country , remebering my Mother as i walk and work in her tireless footsteps today.
Today, i have the photo of & in full formal Ball bling, with our great PM Norman Kirk, recently quoted by John Humphreys here:
In the early 1970s, New Zealand's Prime Minister Norman Kirk laid out a political philosophy which still resonates today. People, he said, don't want much. They want:
"Someone to love, somewhere to live, somewhere to work and something to hope for."
#
I have just taken my rank Tory neighbour to vote. Together, we joke, we make purple.

Please, everyone, on this day, 4 months since the Charlie Hebdo attacks, please exercise your right to freely vote.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1LLsw1lcuA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vziDROl_MJo
#
*Jack, thankyou.

justme111

Indeed I would made no payments or car lease extension in the absence of any order/agreement.
Not sure why you decided to write to exes solicitors nudging them rather than booking a court.
I think getting a house by july is not realistic so would make other provisions.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

I hope you have decided to stick with your proposal and don't back down.

Your offer is more than generous.

How did the house viewings go?

If your offer is not accepted, next month is when you finish your CSA payments and also the car lease, does that mean you don't need to supply another car and make a financial payment to her temporarily?

Please take care of yourself, Jack

My intension is not to increase the offer, I wondered as she did not reply within 14 days there should be consequences so I was thinking of reducing the offer but it seems that would just generate more 'communication' between solicitors. However there needs to be some consequences for the delay?

I believe the course my son is on will finish end of June/early July so my last CSA payment is 25 June (I've been paying on my pay day)

I saw on my sons twitter page that he was in hospital, not sure what for but he posted a picture from the bed he was in and you could see his arm had drip tube. He posted about being in pain before that but no indication of what was wrong. My daughter was staying with them this weekend and when I asked casually if she's seen him she said not seen him but didn't say what was wrong. So it seems they don't want to share anything with me about him?

Viewings wise well fortunately I've not seen something I want yet because it would be frustrating with not having my deposit in place. The property market is very much a sellers one at the moment. Many of the properties I've looked at or request to look at are sold.

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

Indeed I would made no payments or car lease extension in the absence of any order/agreement.
Not sure why you decided to write to exes solicitors nudging them rather than booking a court.
I think getting a house by july is not realistic so would make other provisions.

It was my solicitor that wrote to hers with a reminder but no consequences of no reply so worthless as usual. I am currently constructing my complaint letter this is one of the examples. I don't want to write an email to my solicitor asking about final hearing date as it'll cost me again but I was under the impression that one had been applied for. I feel I will have to write something to her if I don't hear by tomorrow.

kelpie35

I understand how you feel about lowering the offer and how it would generate more money for the money grabbing solicitors.

I do think she needs to pay for the delay in accepting/rejecting your offer, so I hope that works out for you.

As for your daughter not communicating with you re her brother. I have to believe she has been asked by him or her mother, not to discuss his illness. I know it is heart breaking for you to know he might be suffering, and there is nothing you can do for him. You have nothing to be ashamed of as you have always put your children and your ex (even though I disagree about that) before yourself. I have faith and do believe that, in time, you will be able to have a good relationship with your children. I know it is so hard for you just now but try to stay strong.

As for the house hunting it does seem to be a fast moving market at the moment. It seems that everything is against you. Please hang in there Jack, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Take care.

JackRS

Got a response from her solicitor, as expected she’s asking for more than my final proposal I offered £210K from house sale, she’s asked for £243K! Also requested spousal maintenance is 3 years from July and the car rather than March.

I sent the following response to my solicitor:

I notice it was outside the 14 days and it seems that has no consequence? I am absolutely amazed at these demands, the final proposal that I made was one I was not comfortable with but one that I hoped would bring a close to the negotiations. My next course of action would be to withdraw the proposal and propose something less as it seems they have control.

It seems cash equivalent discount value is the issue, I see they have quoted 10% surely this was the value used as an example by actuary in his report but at no point has the discount value been said to be representative .

That said I am not prepared to give any more than the offer made in the letter so she either agrees to those terms or we go to final hearing and loose more out of the pot for both of us and she will have less of the capital than originally offered in my proposal.

Please make clear it is as detailed in the letter of the 20th April or final hearing. Please also point out that the 10% discount is not appropriate for cash sum of pension considering the years remaining. With her receiving £210K of the cash Iam left with very little once my debt is taken into account.

Please secure a date for thefinal hearing

Regards

Mr very frustrated.....

I am as you can all imagine at a loss, what can I do? I feel very angry at her fueling the solicitor fire this way. I am struggling not text or email her with some words but I will leave it and try to construct my thoughts. I can see I'll have to go to the final hearing which will be many months away.

kelpie35

Your solicitor is a disgrace to their profession.

Hope they get struck off for their incompetence or you get a big financial refund.

How long do you think you will have to wait for final hearing?

I just hope and pray that the judge sees how badly you have been treated and she ends up with half of what she could have had.

I am not normally a violent person, and would like to think I am a very fair person, but I would love to meet her up a dark close and give her what she deserves.

At the moment I am just so angry and frustrated for you Jack.

Take care

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Your solicitor is a disgrace to their profession.

Hope they get struck off for their incompetence or you get a big financial refund.

How long do you think you will have to wait for final hearing?

I just hope and pray that the judge sees how badly you have been treated and she ends up with half of what she could have had.

I am not normally a violent person, and would like to think I am a very fair person, but I would love to meet her up a dark close and give her what she deserves.

At the moment I am just so angry and frustrated for you Jack.

Take care

I've been warned a final hearing would be 6 months away