Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

Thumper7 wrote: »

Jack, why didn't you just ask your daughter about your son your being in hospital instead of asking if she had seen him. You might have got an honest answer. I know you are obviously walking on eggshells around your children, your daughter probably didn't know how to respond, giving everything that is going on.


D

I guess I wanted to give her the opportunity and see if she'd been told not to say. Also although she has told me she only gets to find out what he's up to by looking at his Twitter page I didn't want it getting back to him that anyone can see it by typing his name and Twitter it's the first one that comes up. At least this way I get some idea what his life involves.

kezzygirl

Oh Jack, its one step forward and two back. I cannot believe the front your ex has, she should truly be ashamed of herself- I mean this both in terms of not telling you your son was poorly and also her grasping demands for MORE money. vile.


I hope you are managing your anxiety and that it is not affecting you too much. You are an inspiration, your strength shines through your posts, I think I would have given up long ago.


Best wishes, I look forward to your next post x

JackRS

trix-a-belle wrote: »

Oh Jack, sending you a huge hug
Her cheek!!! she chases you for the written proposal following the court date when she knew the offer on the table then !!!!es about beyond the timescale set out & comes back with that big fat piggy request that wants even greater cash than her counters at court! Honestly!

I'd say f*** it & go to final hearing now as for the extra cost it looks like its going to save some cash over her pie in the sky requests & as she & her solicitor seem adamant to never accept anything you put on the table no matter how fair & reasonable.

Sadly as much as i'd agree to cut the money grabbing mare off immediately come the end of your son's course it will probably look poorly on you somewhere in there therefore perhaps a final letter (yes I know the solicitors are dire & deserve no more business) advising you will be scaling it down over 2 or 3 months to nil ahead of the final hearing & also remove the car at that point of nil maintenance (check with the company scheme if you can delay pick up rather than replace) would be better & seen as considering both her & your circumstances & the adjustments that need to be made by all.

Still time to represent yourself from here on in..?

Yes I am considering to take over from this point and hire a barrister for the day. I can update the documents from FDR

beanielou

Check website of your DS's college/uni for end date of term & cease in accord.
Words fail me.
I do not know how your ex sleeps at night.

twiglet98

JackRS wrote: »

Right now I feel like cutting off more than her funding, but yes maybe 25th of May or June will be my final payment not sure what the date of him finishing his course but if it is before 25th June I won't pay.

I have heard that she's got a job as a school doing an admin role no idea if part time or full time?

How lovely to have the school holidays off. It's possible the holidays will be unpaid - be prepared for her to plead poverty as a result.

Whatever your son's medical condition I hope it's nothing major and that you can find out enough to sleep easier on that count at least.

twiglet98

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

OMG how frustrating!

I would reject her counter proposal, tell her your offer has expired (& having reviewed the situation realise you realise it was outrageously generous and not feasible; you just wanted to settle), go to final hearing and stop/reduce whatever payments you can in the meantime.

She will crap herself.

And I'd be tempted to text her this yourself, copying your solicitor, telling them both that your debt lines have run out hence you do not require your solicitor to do anything for you in response to avoid incurring further costs which you cannot afford.

^^ this exactly ^^

19lottie82

Definitely withdraw finances Jack. She's taken the P out of you for long enough.

She may plead poverty but ignore ignore IGNORE! If you want to help your kids out, pay them directly.

Ignore her sob stories, because lets face it, her parents won't see her starve or have her electricity cut off, will they?

JackRS

19lottie82 wrote: »

Definitely withdraw finances Jack. She's taken the P out of you for long enough.

She may plead poverty but ignore ignore IGNORE! If you want to help your kids out, pay them directly.

Ignore her sob stories, because lets face it, her parents won't see her starve or have her electricity cut off, will they?

Well no especially as she's living with them FOC and a nice big place on the coast.

Don't I have a legal requirement to pay CSA while my son remains in FTE which will be July this year? Actually just found out his college end of term date is 19 June, he may well finish before that as it's end of course. So I will make 25 May final payment.

duchy

Yes you know she isn't going to starve although her parents may get fed up with giving her pocket money and start picking at what she spends on -who knows.

It will give a good illustration to the court that 1 She can work and is capable of securing employment (what a shame she has has taken a school job - a mother with school age kids who can only take those kind of hours would appreciate it more) 2 That she doesn't need the car as managed without it once the contract finished 3 Actually didn't fade away without SM.

Jack you have done everything you can to be reasonable -Time to stand firm - engage your own advocate for court..........and make some enquiries about the possibility of making formal complaint about the behaviour of the court - No judge- informed court staff wanted it rushed through so they could leave early for Easter etc. I'd consider talking to my MP in your shoes about this aspect. Might help secure an earlier court date !! An MP taking an interest can change supposedly rigid timescales and delays with government departments in an amazing way sometimes

So what are you going to do about the car ?

duchy

JackRS wrote: »

Well no especially as she's living with them FOC and a nice big place on the coast.

Don't I have a legal requirement to pay CSA while my son remains in FTE which will be July this year? Actually just found out his college end of term date is 19 June, he may well finish before that as it's end of course. So I will make 25 May final payment.

I'd give CSA a call I have a feeling you will need to pay until 31 August as the next trigger date after leaving FE. I seem to remember that was how it worked with my son but can't find the details. Better to check rather than have her claim you stopped paying too early and have/had CSA arrears -to make you look bad in court.