Separated, how much should I provide?

Angry_Bear

Out of curiosity, will you be continuing to pay her until the final hearing or will you "cut her off" after your son leaves full time education? You may have said before, but I forget.

Having her funding cut off might focus her mind somewhat, but more importantly, will give you some breathing room to deal with your debt and housing arrangements.

JackRS

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Out of curiosity, will you be continuing to pay her until the final hearing or will you "cut her off" after your son leaves full time education? You may have said before, but I forget.

Having her funding cut off might focus her mind somewhat, but more importantly, will give you some breathing room to deal with your debt and housing arrangements.

Right now I feel like cutting off more than her funding, but yes maybe 25th of May or June will be my final payment not sure what the date of him finishing his course but if it is before 25th June I won't pay.

I have heard that she's got a job as a school doing an admin role no idea if part time or full time?

kelpie35

6 months seems so far away for you to continue with all this stress.

Please Jack do not pay 1p to her and take the car back as soon as you can. Hope you are able to find out very soon when your son finishes college.

If she now has a job, that may go in your favour, but not too sure how it all works.

Lunar_Eclipse

OMG how frustrating!

I would reject her counter proposal, tell her your offer has expired (& having reviewed the situation realise you realise it was outrageously generous and not feasible; you just wanted to settle), go to final hearing and stop/reduce whatever payments you can in the meantime.

She will crap herself.

And I'd be tempted to text her this yourself, copying your solicitor, telling them both that your debt lines have run out hence you do not require your solicitor to do anything for you in response to avoid incurring further costs which you cannot afford.

justme111

That could be for the best
No payments for 6 months
Precedent set for ex living without support
Chance to withdraw the offer.
Instructing solicitor not to engage in any communication or create any expense without your concent.
May be even terminating their services

Mojisola

It's like one of those never-ending nightmares when you're chasing something and get really close only for it to disappear into the distance again and again and again.

barbiedoll

Oh gosh Jack, you must have been worried sick when seeing pictures of your son in hospital. One day, when he has his own children, maybe he will realise just what he has put you through. I don't blame him, teenagers are thoughtless at the best of times and I don't doubt that he is confused and angry at recent events. However, his mother should be ashamed of herself. Not telling her children's father when their son is in hospital? What a ghastly woman, you really are well rid.

I like the idea of cutting off the cash/car. And l absolutely love the idea of dismissing the lawyers.

As always, two steps forward and three steps back.....we're all hanging in there with you Jack

Thumper7

Jack, why didn't you just ask your daughter about your son your being in hospital instead of asking if she had seen him. You might have got an honest answer. I know you are obviously walking on eggshells around your children, your daughter probably didn't know how to respond, giving everything that is going on.


D

trix-a-belle

Oh Jack, sending you a huge hug
Her cheek!!! she chases you for the written proposal following the court date when she knew the offer on the table then !!!!es about beyond the timescale set out & comes back with that big fat piggy request that wants even greater cash than her counters at court! Honestly!

I'd say f*** it & go to final hearing now as for the extra cost it looks like its going to save some cash over her pie in the sky requests & as she & her solicitor seem adamant to never accept anything you put on the table no matter how fair & reasonable.

Sadly as much as i'd agree to cut the money grabbing mare off immediately come the end of your son's course it will probably look poorly on you somewhere in there therefore perhaps a final letter (yes I know the solicitors are dire & deserve no more business) advising you will be scaling it down over 2 or 3 months to nil ahead of the final hearing & also remove the car at that point of nil maintenance (check with the company scheme if you can delay pick up rather than replace) would be better & seen as considering both her & your circumstances & the adjustments that need to be made by all.

Still time to represent yourself from here on in..?

justme111

Jack pays CS
Not maintenance
So I don't see the need for "final letter".
I think it will matter nothing in the final division . If anything keeping paying or caring for withdrawing it gradually will go against him as will be seen as acknowledging her right to expect money by all , him inclusive.