Separated, how much should I provide?

Caroline_a

I have to say that karma is a damn fine thing. In my experience what goes round comes around - and for your ex it will come, and she will be very very sorry about her money-grabbing ways. Keeping the moral high ground is always the way to go..;)

Puzzcat

Hi JackRS,


Phew.. it has taken me 3 days on and off to read the whole thread. I read on another diary I follow that you were off to court so started from the beginning hoping to find a happy ending..


Sorry that wasn't the case. yet.. but it will come. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said many times over, but really do hope that it is sorted really soon and you can then hold your virtual party....


My only experience of SM is a friend of mine who gets it for life.. her OH is in a very high position in a very well known top end store so I can only imagine he earns many ££££. She did try working once in a supermarket but didn't like it because it ruined her nails...!! She's a great girl but lives in cuckoo land as stuggles to manage on her £40k a year tax free salary with no mortgage either.. bless..


Anyhow's just wanted to wish you well and hope you get to move onwards and upwards soon.


Puzz. x

justme111

Re ex not working and people negatively commenting on it - once it is in hands of lawyers she likely just followed their advice which likely was not to. That's why in the very beginning of the saga I advised to jack to try and sort it without lawyers the same I advised to a few female posters asking about divorce on this forum - once lawyers are involved it becomes a war and all parties come out with bad feelings towards each other ..

Vicky123

justme111 wrote: »

Re ex not working and people negatively commenting on it - once it is in hands of lawyers she likely just followed their advice which likely was not to. That's why in the very beginning of the saga I advised to jack to try and sort it without lawyers the same I advised to a few female posters asking about divorce on this forum - once lawyers are involved it becomes a war and all parties come out with bad feelings towards each other ..

The problem though is if one person hires a lawyer then the other becomes seriously disadvantaged if they don't. Sometimes it's out of your hands.

justme111

Yep. Although it may be just a fear of becoming disadvantaged.. I can not see what jackz lawyers done that he could not have done himself.

quidsy

I think people forget though that as she wasn't working for several years & as jack sprung the separation on her, she was already at a disadvantage in terms of power & finances. And although I think she is being petty right now with dragging the case out for an extra few grand, she is protecting her own future as jack is protecting his. You might not agree with her demands but she is doing what any sensible person would do.

Vicky123

justme111 wrote: »

Yep. Although it may be just a fear of becoming disadvantaged.. I can not see what jackz lawyers done that he could not have done himself.

Yes, that's true,it will always be the case for the person with the least effective legal team, we can all do an excellent job of losing, the trick is to know who is hopeless from the outset, they all sound good at the first appointment. I think people lose all sense once the lawyers are involved, anyone that's been through this ordeal will know they can get caught up spending hours worth of legal fees demanding to know where a rogue £5 appeared from on a bank statement.

Mojisola

quidsy wrote: »

I think people forget though that as she wasn't working for several years & as jack sprung the separation on her, she was already at a disadvantage in terms of power & finances. And although I think she is being petty right now with dragging the case out for an extra few grand, she is protecting her own future as jack is protecting his. You might not agree with her demands but she is doing what any sensible person would do.

Her unwillingness to compromise has meant the tens of thousands of pounds that could have been divided between them has gone in legal fees.

SandC

Jack i would think very carefully about the car issue. Aren't there any rules about the provision of a lease car to be to certain family members only and with you shortly to be divorced are you sure that this scheme will still be available?

You've been separated for two years, it wouldn't be all that unreasonable for you to have already met a new partner, be living with them and waiting for the divorce so you could get married - yet new wife wouldn't be allowed a lease car from your work cos ex wife has got the perk? Just doesn't sound right to me, even if you just look at it from a responsibility point of view.... the vehicle wouldn't even be kept in the same area as you!

Vicky123

Someone has got to take a hit though in order to put an end to the legal madness, digging in is costing way more than a years car hire anyway.
I just told my barrister at court that I wasn't paying any more legal fees or enduring any more stress, it cost me some but at best if I'd carried on it would have been the same financial loss with all the stress or at worst considerably more expense. I realise Jack has already lost big time but his ex is either unhinged, enjoying his suffering or a lawyers dream. I wonder what would happen if Jack just told his legal team he really will not be able to pay them any longer.