Separated, how much should I provide?

comeandgo

When my husband divorced his previous wife a monthly maintenance payment was requested of £500 a month. They settled on £100 a month until she reached retirement age and this was given as a lump sum along with the other half house and she got a car too though it was a second hand one. Could you try and offer her a reduced amount per month but give it as a lump sum?

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

What if jacks pension estimates and forms e will be out of date by the next hearing :eek::rotfl:
Jack , you should have stopped csa now for your son , am I right ? I wonder whether ex with getting big fat 0 money from you while all this farce of justice continues will become more agreable ?

Csa of £650/m will continue to course end June this year. So proposal was to continue that amount as SM until end of FY March 2018.

beanielou

Sorry what does SM main mean?

mellymoo74

Spousal maintenance

ampersand

Spousal Maintenance.

ampersand

Fingers on buttons mm :-)

beanielou

Dident get any of that :eek:
Thanks.

Wol2

Hi Jack

Like others I'm still reeling at this frustrating turn of events for you........Needless to say, the bottle in the fridge with your name on it is going to stay well and truly shut until you are "finally free" to party :cool:

Would you mind giving a few details on what the deal is with the car over 3 years? Is this still providing a car via your work scheme and if so what would be the monthly cost to yourself? I know you've previously mentioned the cost - but that was many months and thread pages ago!!

(Sorry if this sounds too nosey - but it has suddenly occurred to me that, depending upon the figures, I may be able to suggest an alternative, more cost effective solution for you that might also "really float her [STRIKE]boat[/STRIKE] aircraft carrier )

Hoping you get some time to "switch off from all this" over the Easter holiday to recharge your batteries.....stay strong!
xxx

JackRS

Sorry guys just spent last hour writing a detail explanation answering the points raised but managed to loose it all before submitting. I'll do it again ️sometime on separate document so I don't loose it but probably not today.


Thanks again for your thoughts, advice and support it is great help, I will respond soon.

Floxxie

Sorry I have been absent for far too long but have caught up with your thread.

Did you ever post a thread on Wikivorce with your details in terms of assets etc. for legal consideration? I noted that you had put info into the calculator (it is not very effective).

This is your chance to finish the marriage once and for all and move on with your life. It is not about your children (they are definitely not children) and neither is it about the ex-wife, who is more than capable of starting over again, but is trying her hardest to play the victim.

What it is about is you beginning your new life and being able to live; not having the feeling of phew I got rid of her but sh** I cannot live properly and I have a pile of debt to service. The former is possibly the greater feeling but the latter will certainly be felt once the deal is done.

So please take the position (as most judges will) that a clean break is best and that means no ongoing SM, no cars, no link whatsoever with the ex...but do not give away everything so you cannot live or have a life in future. You made choices as she did and you do not need to suffer and feel guilty because of them. Treat this as a business transaction and remove any emotional feeling.

P.S. I eventually managed to divorce with financial settlement on August 1 2014. It is easy for me to write about 'what to do' but I still remember those feelings of utter helplessness.

Good luck