Separated, how much should I provide?

kelpie35

I might be wrong, but does the car lease not stop next month?

If that is the case I really think you should cancel it and let her buy her own one with all the money she is getting.

I know Jack that money does not buy you happiness, I am sorry to say this but you are the one who has worked to provide, for your family, for a very long time, so why should you be left with almost nothing.

I know you just want an end to this nightmare but you need to look after number 1 now.

I feel so sad and upset for you and can only offer you a big virtual (((hug)))

duchy

The car was a part of the offers made .............however if no agreement has been reached then it would be reasonable to not start another car contract until the financial deal is signed and sealed.

It might help focus her onto reaching an agreement

Lets_say

Upset for you Jack. Leaving the champers on ice.

Now hoping that having slept on it the ex may see sense.

barbiedoll

JackRS wrote: »

Well no surprise no agreement my final offer was 210k, £650/m for 3 years and car for 3 years
She wouldn't accept so will put it in writing she'll have 14 days to accept if not final hearing where judge will decide. Which will cost lots and take more out the pot so youd think she'd see sense but then......

I'm absolutely shocked that your offer was not accepted. Most of the proceeds of the house sale AND free cash for 3 years AND a car?

This is for a healthy, not-quite-middle-aged woman (younger than me from what I can gather, I'm 50, I work full-time and pay for my own car...and I'm still married!) who has no children to support and no reason not to use her two legs, or public transport to get wherever she wants to go.

Jack, it looks like you'll be paying for a car either way. A little tip: If you get to choose the car, pick a Kia Picanto, with the smallest engine and 4 doors. I've got one on lease, it was the cheapest option. It's a perfectly good car, you can carry 4 adults and several bags of [STRIKE]cash[/STRIKE] shopping in it easily. She won't be winning any races at the lights when driving it but that's not your problem.

I like the "3 years" option, at least you'll have an end date to this madness and start to plan your life accordingly. Good luck for next time around. Hope your weekend goes well!

trix-a-belle

Oh Jack, I'm praying the final judge is well versed on the recent outcome of the Newmarket vet's ex & agreed with it so that your ex is put in the same bucket of ice cold water to wake up into the real world.
I'd suggest the one liner is added to your final written offer that in the acceptance of this offer you will not go after any of her significant future inheritance, to further push the closure (& stop being such a greedy swine) point home.

beanielou

This just beggers belief.
She has no grasp of real life & needs to wake up & smell the coffee :mad:

ampersand

Agreed trix - you and I are in same-ish large lump of Fenny albion, so are very aware of this. It's big goss.talk in town/Waitrose:-)

Hope you start today with a Hot cross bun and good coffee Jack.

enthusiasticsaver

I have never heard of the ex husband having to provide a car for a divorced wife before? I know that you get a special deal on this through work Jack but surely she should have to provide this herself once you are divorced and no longer enjoy the perks of your job. That is what divorce means - regardless of the whys and wherefores of the divorce. It is very difficult for you to get a clean break with this although obviously with children it will not be clean anyway.


Presumably until a financial settlement is sorted you cannot access your house sale proceeds so I am guessing she is playing the long game as she has nothing to lose as I assume she is with her parents? I am astonished at the terrible example she is setting for your daughter and son and does make you wonder at the audacity of the woman. She clearly feels a sense of entitlement and even though it was your choice to walk away I am guessing things must have been dreadful for you to put yourself through all that. You have remained dignified throughout and deserve a conclusion to this sorry end of a marriage.


I would put all the offers you have made in writing - the original and the final one if you think you are happy and can afford to pay it but beyond that I would leave it to the judge presuming he turns up!!

LannieDuck

I know everyone just wants the best for you Jack, but it's all coming across a bit doom-and-gloom. So a small bit of optimism...

It's almost over! Keep going - a resolution (one way or the other) is nearly here

Ames

Another vote for only putting the lower offer in writing here. She had her chance at more and didn't go for it. After all, that's the whole point of the pre court negotiation.

Hopefully all judges and lawyers will be available and able to find the court next time!