Separated, how much should I provide?

spender

Looks like the back and forth is going to start again with all the additional expenses. Hope it doesn't push the court date back. Your solicitor is saying you make an offer, they offer back, you make another offer so on and so on. You never see a poor solicitor! And in all correspondence stop being emotive. It is irrelevant in the scheme of things if she has lost her forms really and to comment about her being so organised so surprised at the loss is basically silly. I am not having a go but best to stick to facts only. And yes I got divorced and never asked for maintenance but I worked. A marriage breakup always causes bitterness but quite frankly this has dragged on far too long leaving both of you in limbo. Despite what we may personally think there are three sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth. Start looking forward to when this is sorted which could be January and look forward to a good 2015

ampersand

Anything back from Landlord/Agent meeting, Jack?

At this rate, you have 2 days left....

spender - I'm sure you don't mean to insinuate anything here:
'His side, her side and the truth.' Probably, you mean 'the middle way.'

Even that will be a new notion for ex-Mrs Jack.

supersaver2

spender wrote: »

Looks like the back and forth is going to start again with all the additional expenses. Hope it doesn't push the court date back. Your solicitor is saying you make an offer, they offer back, you make another offer so on and so on. You never see a poor solicitor! And in all correspondence stop being emotive. It is irrelevant in the scheme of things if she has lost her forms really and to comment about her being so organised so surprised at the loss is basically silly. I am not having a go but best to stick to facts only. And yes I got divorced and never asked for maintenance but I worked. A marriage breakup always causes bitterness but quite frankly this has dragged on far too long leaving both of you in limbo. Despite what we may personally think there are three sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth. Start looking forward to when this is sorted which could be January and look forward to a good 2015

Think you've been a little unfair telling Jack not to be emotive, can't think of many more emotive situations than what he's been through the past 2 years. Also I don't think he's being silly commenting on his ex losing paperwork, my first thought was is this another delaying tactic and will it cost Jack more money.

spender

Solicitors and Courts are not really interested in your emotions, they deal with facts end of. Not being horrible to Jack but it is best to stick to the facts. If he lets her have the form she has got it, if he does not perhaps this would cause further delay as the Solicitor may have to write to another solicitor to obtain it. Whatever we may think, I find it very sad that at one time or the other these parties loved each other and perhaps dignity means that the matter is dealt with quickly. We all have our own impressions of Mrs J but we don't know everything, we were not part of this marriage were we! Maybe Mrs J has seen everything in her life go down the pan and is taking anger and frustration out on wanting to "clean up". Maybe not. I just think that this matter could of been dealt with long ago without the ping pong effect and thousands of pounds in fees.

justme111

Jack , I might have lost the plot of course but I do not remember you mentioning your reply to this proposal which you say solicitor missed

ampersand

Agreed - asked back in #2118 about this and Landlord mtg. and another trigger point.

How are you, Jack? - is your roof secure for a bit longer?

Thinking of you and hoping there's some restorative Jack time today and tomorrow.

carolan78

I've been following this from the start Jack and your Ex doesn't seem willing to budge. Her demands are beyond what could possibly be reasonably expected and down right cheeky imo. Especially when you consider she will inherit a substantial amount one day.

I think at this point I would be making a claim on that, I would see it as my bargaining tool and safety net in case it does all go tits up in court.

duchy

I'm not even sure you can claim on a projected inheritance ....and frankly in that situation there would be nothing to stop the grandparents finding a way around it -like buying her a house or even changing their wills so the children inherit instead with Mum having very, very liberal trustee powers.

I suspect that is a non starter and the bad feeling attempting something like that would make what is already a bad situation even worse-and possibly turn the judge against you too.

(Not that for one moment I believe Jack was even considering doing it)

spender

Hang on inheritance is not part of a marriage. Do you expect every divorce to include inheritance? What happens if the money is swallowed up by nursing fees? What if they live for 20 plus years? Is Jack going to inherit any money? I don't condone greedy women but I do feel that Mrs Jacks live has also been turned upside down. It is apparent as a couple they had a comfortable life and Jack was not particularly worried about her working. Her projected lifestyle has changed and everyone is now demanding that not only does she get a job but she gets an excellent paying job overnight. This could of been finalised a long time ago. Solicitors cause friction as well

rpc

spender wrote: »

Hang on inheritance is not part of a marriage.

If you are married when you receive it then it is for residents of England and Wales. Scotland treats it as being outside of the marriage as long as it is not touched by the marriage.

Her projected lifestyle has changed

That happens to both parties when a couple split up. It is an inevitable consequence of divorce.

This could of been finalised a long time ago.

Quite, but that relies on both parties being reasonable. If only one party is being reasonable then it will go all the way to court.