Separated, how much should I provide?

themull1

Marisco wrote: »

But again I'll ask, why? Once a couple splits, apart from the usual house equity etc, CSA for the kids etc, the ex herself should not be entitled to anything!! I just don't get this at all. Yes, maintenance for the kids obviously, and a fair share of any equity built up in a house, but why on earth should the ex get anything else *very very puzzled* And more to the point, why on earth should she expect it????

Exactly, when my husband left me, i was earning £15000 a year, had two kids and a mortgage. We chose not to go through the CSA but ex pays me the going rate every month for the kids, i got tax credits and child benefit and that was it, i had to take out an additional mortgage to buy ex out because i wanted to keep the house, I never got any spousal maintenance! Didnt even know it still existed when benefits can be claimed.

ampersand

19lottie82 wrote: »

......... as I don't want to hijack Jacks thread any further.

#

New topic, new Thread is a good rule.

duchy

19lottie82 wrote: »

If a female came on here and said she received verbal abuse / silent treatments (I believe this is called "stonewalling"?) from their male partner because they had spoken to their mother, they would be told this was abuse and to leave / call women's aid ASAP. Not your explanation that this wouldn't be possible for a "mature adult".

And what did he want from the house? I'm not sure exactly. But I guess it would be the option to discuss it, rather than being handed 2 Tesco bags, and then having the door shut in his face.

But anyway I think we should leave it there, as I don't want to hijack Jacks thread any further.

Yep start another thread would be an idea- however to mop up most women in controlling relationships stay because they don't have jobs or outside contact.-let alone income to rent another flat This man has two businesses and had seven years to think about it before having a child with this woman and then stayed another ten .

To compare women with no means of escaping a controlling relationship physically or financially with this man who presumably went out to work at two locations and has enough spare income to rent a flat for himself (and no childcare issues) isn't quite the same.

(and I still think you are a snob or maybe just jealous of her shoes )

JackRS

Current rental:
I had an email yesterday from the agent telling me that the Landlord has been advised by their solicitor. The Landlord has a meeting with the agent on Wednesday to discuss the next step. The rent review board result stated the rent should be at the original level £695/m. The report highlighted that the agent provided examples from rightmove at the top end of the price range. They also showed they had a future tenant lined up that was willing pay £850/m. However based on the review of the property the report concluded that having someone willing to pay is not justification. The key aspect of report that judged the property should be towards the lower end of the price range was it’s location being next to a main dual carriageway which is very noisy 24/7. The agent has asked to speak to me today prior to meeting the Landlord tomorrow, I’m guessing to clarify my situation etc. At this stage the outcome could go either way, my wish is to stay and pay at the rent review agreed rate. However I suspect they want me out asap so they can get a higher rate?

Email from my Solicitor ref form E’s:
I attach a copy of a letter that I have received from ex Mrs JackRS Solicitor, and you will note that they refer to updating their client’s Form E.
As you know, I have filed and served your updating disclosure, but did not do it by way of an updating Form E, simply on the basis of the costs to you of doing so. Furthermore, there was no specific Direction from the Court that disclosure needed to be updated by way of Form E, so we have therefore simply provided the documentation required.
I would however be grateful if you could just confirm to me whether there has been any material change in your circumstances, for example a change in your position at work, or your income, since Form E’s were first prepared.

See below letter from her solicitor to mine:



I responded to mine with a number of points but referring to this letter said the following to my solicitor:

It seems her new solicitors have advised her to submit new form-E? I hope for good reason not to generate costs? I imagine maybe her circumstances have changed with daughter now in London at uni so that will have an impact. I am also making contribution to Daughter such as paying for some food shopping when visiting and other ad hoc contributions but nothing formal as I want to encourage her to find a job and be independent.
Not sure why she’s asking you to provide a copy of her form E, this seems a waste of resource and adds no value, I can provide that to her directly if it’s needed. She is very efficient with paperwork and I can’t believe she hasn’t got a copy?


Just now receive this from my solicitor in response to my emails, judging by the length of the reply this will cost me!

I write further to your two e-mails, dated 20th & 23rd October 2014, upon which I have had the opportunity of considering.

First of all, in respect of a ‘comment free bundle’ this is referring to the documents in your case being filed in advance of the court hearing. We will be preparing a bundle, as we do prior to all court hearings, for the benefit of the Judge presiding over the case.

Please let me reassure you that I agree that it is not necessary to engage within ‘ping pong’ correspondence with her solicitor, if it will not progress your case any further. That said, there are certain pieces of correspondence that do need to be responded to.

It is my understanding that if at all possible, you would like this case to settle prior to the next court hearing, which will require an element of interaction with her solicitor.

Furthermore, I must stress that this is their Without Prejudice proposal for settlement. It is their opening proposal, and by no means is the ‘lowest’ proposal that they will accept. Without Prejudice proposals usually start high, and are then negotiated down. Given that her solicitor will be aware of this then I am of the view that there is scope to try to negotiate this prior to the next court hearing.

I agree that the high level of maintenance (and indeed the terms of the maintenance) are unreasonable. That said, I am of the view that there is serious scope for settling this, and that we should put forward a counter proposal for settlement.

With regards to spousal maintenance, you refer to there being ‘trigger points’. The usual trigger points in these proceedings are:-

1. The marriage of ex
2. ex cohabiting with another person for a period of 6 months or more
3. The death of either of you
However, at any stage, should either your or her circumstances change, either of you can make an application back to the court for reconsideration of maintenance. For example, you could apply back to the court in the event that she wins the lottery or obtains a higher level of employment you could apply for a downwards variation of maintenance, or dismissal of the maintenance claim.

Equally, if you win the lottery or have a promotion at work, then she could apply back to the court for an upwards variation of the maintenance.

The maintenance element of the settlement is therefore fairly fluid and flexible (albeit in the event that you cannot agree the change in maintenance between yourselves, it usually involves an application to the court, and the costs of this can deter an unmeritorious application).

As stated above, we need to go in with a sensible counter proposal. They will no doubt come back to us with a further proposal, but I do think that we need to put our marker in the sand, and I need instructions from you as to how you wish me to proceed.

There are certain elements of their proposal that we can agree, for example:-

1. FMH needs to be sold
2. You will provide a lease car, but only to a fixed time and a fixed cost
3. You will provide spousal maintenance on a ‘term’ basis
4. Thereafter a clean break.
Our letter can therefore set out that many of the principles that they propose are agreed between us, so as to put a more ‘positive’ spin on the matter, rather than simply saying that their proposals are rejected.

In light of the above, please do let me know how you wish to proceed.

On a final note, I do just want to be clear that I have my concerns about going to the next court hearing without having a Pensions Report in place. I am just wary that it was ordered at the outset of the proceedings, and we may have a District Judge who says that the pensions report is integral to the settlement of this case.

To a certain extent if we are agreed that ‘offsetting’ is the way forward (ie no pension share) then this shouldn’t pose too much of an issue, but I did just want to make you aware.

She seems to have ignored the proposed 3 options i made for settlement......

Marisco

I still cannot understand why the solicitors are even considering spousal maintenance, and not fighting it? Why should Jack "bankroll" her, they are separated, it's up to her to make a life for herself, not sponge off him!!

nicegirl

What?!

I don't understand this bit: 'It is my understanding that if at all possible, you would like this case to settle prior to the next court hearing, which will require an element of interaction with her solicitor.'

I thought it had been decided to stop trying to settle with them as it was like banging your head against a wall, and wait for the court date? If they are proposing to carry on going back and forth this is just costing more money. You've made it clear how you'd like to proceed and presented various options and she's made it clear that she's not going to back down.

How frustrating, Jack!

ampersand

Another disappeared post - infuriating, so again:
Thankyou for update, Jack.
#
re: current rental:
Rent review news is good, if LL can be relied upon not to infringe your right to quiet enjoyment. I hope Agent has that sort of sway at tmrw's mtg.
Otherwise, 'At this stage the outcome could go either way' - could LL make it worth your while to leave, against scarcity/cost/suitability of alt.accomm.?
#
blue block section,ex sol. to yours:
para.3,ll.5-6. which you rightly answer with 'She is very efficient with paperwork and I can’t believe she hasn’t got a copy?'

I'd ignore.
Jack, it is inconceivable that neither past, nor present, sol. of ex. have this doc. to hand. If ex.cannot/will not produce it[and you know her only too well], why should you oblige, unless for consideration/leverage?[yes, I'm being petty.]
I'm surprised your solicitor let that pass[or maybe not.]
#
re: Email from my Solicitor ref form E’s -
Surely death/inheritance/ ex- parent/s should be an added trigger point?

'She seems to have ignored the proposed 3 options i made for settlement......'

to which you need to write[suggestion]:

' Unfortunately, the part of your reply which deals with my 3 settlement proposals is missing. Please re-send.'
#
Finally, have you followed duchy's excellent idea, #2101? Please do so.
#
Oh Jack! - echoing nicegirl.

kelpie35

Thank you Jack for the update.

Hope your meeting goes well with your LL and that you still have a place to rest your head that is affordable and secure to you.

I am so frustrated with your solicitor so I can imagine just how you feel.

I know that when things are finalised that you are going to report this, so in the meantime I would not do anything or reply to her emails if this is going to impact on you financially.

11 weeks to go, keep strong Jack and take care.

trix-a-belle

Thank you for the update, sending positive thoughts as always.
I love that shes made mention to "if you won the lottery" hmm mulling out loud, put not going for the inheritance in as an encouragement for her to settle & not be so blooming greedy.
Your solicitor really needs a boot managing to forget all your suggested proposals

LannieDuck

What happened to the pensions report? I thought that was underway months ago.