Separated, how much should I provide?

ampersand

Post#1689 - mediation is seen as a fulsome earner, full of Big Society market-speak and profit potential.

rpc

JackRS wrote: »

Yes we've agreed to one more mediation for this friday where she is going to propose alternative, which I won't like to will have to propose my compromise or let it go to court and lose even more out the pot!

Court is probably cheaper than rolling over and giving her what she wants!

JackRS

madvixen wrote: »

Hi Jack,

I hope you're managing to get some peace and relaxation this weekend.

Out of curiosity, who recommended the mediator? Your lawyer or hers?

Well mine suggested one but ex Mrs JackRS wasn't happy with it as she felt from her research that they didn't specialise in family law. She then found 3 alternatives the one we've been to was available for the time we wanted. However I since found out that the mediator was known to my solicitor as she previously worked at the same firm. My solicitor was pleased with who was mediating.

What frustrates me is we could have easily got to the stage we're at without any solicitors and mediators. We're both intelligent people (OK I know I can't spell) but she has very good grasp of spelling and grammar (you can read a lot of books when you don't have to work) my strengths are with numbers.

I will complain about the value for money I'm not receiving from my solicitor. In recent reply about pension transfer value that ex Mrs JackRS should be awarded to achieve 50/50 split of pensions she made an error in terms of which total value to use in the calculation, this was significant and she seem to dismiss it quickly when I questioned it as she agreed that my original calculation was correct.

ampersand

Oh Jack, I wish we could say this comes as a surprise:
'Well mine suggested one but ex Mrs JackRS wasn't happy with it as she felt from her research that they didn't specialise in family law. She then found 3 alternatives the one we've been to was available for the time we wanted. However I since found out that the mediator was known to my solicitor as she previously worked at the same firm. My solicitor was pleased with who was mediating.'

-but of course it doesn't. It's odd to fillet out what your solicitor was suggesting - in blue. More inadequacy? or simply lack of attention to detail, as with the other miscalculation, which you reported back in#1701? Had your solicitor held this mediator in esteem, esp. having shared work history, she would surely have suggested her then?

This labyrinth is ensnaring you more and more. It all stinks.

Jack, do you absolutely refuse to consider engaging a rottweiler?

madvixen

I've avoided posting anything about my own dealings with this particular firm of Lawyers but your answers really concern me Jack. Have you thought about looking for a local Lawyer? Someone who you can meet face to face and who will really fight your corner.

I really fear that you are currently being seen as a cash cow by this firm and that they are only after your cash rather than the best result for you.

You are being such a gentleman throughout this and it's a huge testament to your character. Please don't let lawyers and mediators take this from you

JackRS

madvixen wrote: »

I've avoided posting anything about my own dealings with this particular firm of Lawyers but your answers really concern me Jack. Have you thought about looking for a local Lawyer? Someone who you can meet face to face and who will really fight your corner.

I really fear that you are currently being seen as a cash cow by this firm and that they are only after your cash rather than the best result for you.

You are being such a gentleman throughout this and it's a huge testament to your character. Please don't let lawyers and mediators take this from you

I was originally with a local solicitor but I wasn't happy with their response times and progress. I spoke to an advisor at wikidivorce who recommended Brethertons as top 500 firm that had the strength in depth to manage this case as it needed financial settlement expertise.

JackRS

ampersand wrote: »

Oh Jack, I wish we could say this comes as a surprise:
'Well mine suggested one but ex Mrs JackRS wasn't happy with it as she felt from her research that they didn't specialise in family law. She then found 3 alternatives the one we've been to was available for the time we wanted. However I since found out that the mediator was known to my solicitor as she previously worked at the same firm. My solicitor was pleased with who was mediating.'

-but of course it doesn't. It's odd to fillet out what your solicitor was suggesting - in blue. More inadequacy? or simply lack of attention to detail, as with the other miscalculation, which you reported back in#1701? Had your solicitor held this mediator in esteem, esp. having shared work history, she would surely have suggested her then?

This labyrinth is ensnaring you more and more. It all stinks.

Jack, do you absolutely refuse to consider engaging a rottweiler?

My solicitor suggest one that she was aware of in the town I am, The one we are using is about an hours drive from work for me about half hour from FMH for Mrs JacKRS. The key was availability for appointments which is why I agreed to the one we are using.

In terms of 'engaging a rottweiler?' I'm not sure how you do that I was made to believe going to Brethertons would provide me with that. If I change again now don't know the next will be any better and obviously I'd have increased costs with the new one getting up to speed. This could be a wise investment but no guarantees so I feel I have to proceed. Ultimately it's about coming to an agreement and I believe I have enough information to know what is fair and appropriate. Ex Mrs JackRS wants her cake and eat it so I will not agree to her proposal if it is not reasonable, if she doesn't agree to my compromise then we have little choice but to waste more money on the case. The phrase 'there's only one winner in divorce' is very apt here

ampersand

'it needed financial settlement expertise.' -

#1701 and#1714

Forgive my frustrated petulance and 'rottweiler' suggestion Jack. It's appeared a few times, from self and others, but it contributes nothing and helps you not one whit.

If we feel desperate to somehow Wave The Wand and Magick Up some sort of just solution, it is all the more because we are not the ones having to grind through this swill.

We see you somehow being dragged on through Hell and it affronts everything that spells Decency or Justice.

I'm sorry.

Reams

There maybe another route which you might already know of, a Barrister.


For some background, my solicitors were costing me tons. Come FH day and I met my Barrister for the first time and couldn't believe how she condensed all the fee wasting months into easy to read sums on lined paper. For the first time I cried as she told me the house would have to go. The solicitors had strung me along for months saying that would not be the case.
Total spend on the divorce was over 30k. The barrister I paid up front was 3k. Refunded me a chunk of that as she had it sewn up early.


I came home reflected and researched and found that the public can now access Barristers who have additional training to deal directly with the public. Might say here that all this was going through the wikivorce
forum at the time who insisted, no Barristers are only contactable through solicitors. So their information was wrong and that from lawyers?


So you can appoint a Barrister to look at your case. They are the people who know the Judges in the Courts in your area. They know the past outcomes and they don't waffle with a letter here and a phone call there, but go straight to the point. This isn't to represent you in Court but to give a written account as to the likely outcome of the finances.


It may cost a grand but the problem at present is you are arguing over an outcome of which you have no idea! A Barrister will make it clear.


Anyway, hope I've given you food for thought from my own expensive experience.


Just to add. The shorter you can cut this the better for your children.


http://www.barcouncil.org.uk/instructing-a-barrister/public-access/

Reams

I should have said, that in hindsight I wouldn't have gone near a Solicitor, but straight to a Barrister.