Separated, how much should I provide?

duchy

Well that should get the office gossip mill rolling !!
(Only teasing )

Actually I did think would your daughter be up for it too...... What's the average age at your work though ?

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

Next is the company Christmas party in 2 weeks, looks like I'll be taking one of the guys as my +1

:

Make sure you have your best bip and tucker on, you might be surprised who might lurk under the misiltoe :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Have a great time :A

JackRS

I did think about my daughter but decided against it. Firstly it's not really her scene and she wouldn't enjoy it but the key point it puts her in a really awkward position with respect to her mum. She would feel disloyal to her mum if she accepted then feel she let me down if she refused. She really is in the middle and I don’t want to put anymore on her.

RAS

JackRS

You do understand this is precisely why people here support you so strongly?

Very few people in your situation have enough insight to realise the difficulties faced by your daughter and enough love and unselfishness to make her needs a priority over their own.

At some stage I think you need to tell her the above so that she understands how much more you are a parent.

areia

wow just read this thread. :shocked:
I did the bitter blame dad teen thing at 14 ..most get over it ...can clearly see you have worked hard in keeping it as straight forward as poss...which is nice quite a lot of dads don't even do this ,,,My son is now 14 and hes never received any emotional nor financial support ..he recently learnt that his dad never even left town ...that was hard for him to figure out ..so im having to work through that

Break ups are never easy no matter the social background..You've done very well to get it sorted within a year too.. time will heal a lot of things wont make anyone forget ...just teach people to tolerate each other much better as you realise life is too short

If your daughter is close to her mum. I doubt you will get much from her, I'm very protective of my mother as she raised me from 6 months on her own refusing to let another man enter her life until the kids were grown...I forgave my father but it felt wrong when invited to his re marriage to his second wife ( whom is lovely i've nothing against her at all ) My father would of loved me there but I couldn't do it.
It wouldn't be anything to personal i'm sure she loves you, but I think it would be better for time with her just one to one would be more special, than feeling like a tool for events. your idea of proud father and daughter could mean awkwardness as mum isnt here with her, or for some reason feel like a substitute or replacement its still raw and shes still young.

duchy

I do think every situation is different though.... My son was supported emotionally and financially by my ex husband.....and then Dad has suddenly stopped all communication from them seeing each other once every week or two to nothing. Won't answer texts.. nothing. My son is in his early twenties but has Aspergers Syndrome so is very vulnerable and it absolutely breaks my heart to see him so hurt. I think it is to do with Dad's current girlfriend-she's much younger and I suspect from what she's said to me sees my son as "financial" as well as emotional competition. She is young enough to be his big sister. No doubt she'll eventually move on (his relationships never seem to last more than three years) but who knows if the damage will ever be repaired between them.

Sorry I digressed a bit - but the point is every situation is different-all you can do is leave the door wide open and make it easy if they want to resume/increase contact. Seeing Mum start to move on and not feeling she's a victim can make a massive difference. A year from now Jack's kids may have a very different perspective.

JackRS

Managed to get a Drs appointment for 4pm today

madvixen

How did it go at the Dr's Jack? I hope it was helpful x

RAS

Good

Hope that you can get some extra support.

ampersand

Hello Jack,
Just in and, with the rest of your virtual, but very real gang, so pleased to read of Dr's appt. Little steps. Next, I hope it lead to you feeling good about having done so and at ease with the thought of going again.
Are you making yourself think about meals? shopping for and preparing simple enjoyable food? giving yourself that Jack Special pause to decide on a weekend pleasure?

I know others share every aspect of these concerns and wishes for your wellbeing and future.

Group hug........keep taking care of yourself. We know you're worth it, even when you doubt your own ability to keep going. You are a Knight.