Back and Feeling rather ashamed!

auntie_brenda

ZTD wrote: »

Well I'm not sure if it's "Bail out" as in giving payment to keep someone out of jail - or "Bail out" as in to empty a vessel (like a lifeboat) of liquid (like the sea).

There's also bale (as in make little haystacks) but it's probably not that...

Also the bale in cricket that you put jelly beans on ...... probably not that either...... enless P likes to put jelly beans on OH........... oops, just having lewd thoughts about jelly beans & Daniel Craig (see IA's diary for those not in the know ).

pania

Hey guys ZTD, thanks for so much good advice, and you BA, and to auntie B for the jelly beans, interesting concept that one may try it! he he

Ok so this is my plan.
1) get him to sell the car, It's his pride and joy and boy will that one hurt him i promise!! he can then pay back most of what he owes for the car but will be without one to go to cricket etc.
I'll put him on my insurance and we'll share the car but i'll charge him half the insurance (iro£20) a tenner a month to contribute towards road tax and MOT plus £30 pm for petrol he may use. (£60 pm much cheaper than running his own car!)
2) will open up a bills account either joint or in his name (but i get to play hide and seek with the card) and transfer all the household bills and his debt repayments to it in one lump each month the day after pay day. He is currently getting charged for every DD that goes out so do it in one hit, at the worst only one charge. I have peace of mine that HH bills being paid he has peace of mind that he's minimising charges.
3) If he overspends on personal money thats his look out. I'm not going to give him match fees/petrol/take on the food bill any more. I am working my (not so ) little butt off to get myself out of a hole and it's just going straight to him. NO MORE!!!! He will realise the consequences when he has to tell family he can't pay them that month etc.
4) will gently nudge towards a change in job. I know he wants to do something thats bloomin well paid but no vacancies with current company til next september. Is resting on his laurels and waiting but he NEEDS more income. Even something related to what he wants to do would be better for some experience.
5) House will HAVE to go on hold as he would have no way of getting to work. was a nice idea while it lasted but that phase is being built over next year also so the house will always be there. Whether incentives shall be i've no idea!

Anyway guys, thanks again. Has meant alot for you to take your time to point out the error of my ways and how to correct it. ZTD, love the long posts!!!
And thanks to the lovely hypno who for an hour solid this morning listened to me ranting raving moaning whining whinging and any other word you can think of. And gave some blinking good advice to. Thanks hon. xx

pania

PS I just want to point out that although most of the conversation lately has been how to sort out the joint prob between myself and OH following the bombshell of the other day. I am no angel either on occasion. It's just unfortunate focus has been on OH because thats what we're trying to sort out at the moment. I hope i haven't come across as overly harsh on him or making him out to be the bad guy. We all stumble occasionally, but we can sort it out.

Uniscots97

Its ok Pania, we do understand. You will get there. Sometimes its good to talk things through with someone impartial.

pania

Thanks Unix i completely agree. How are things your end? good i hope?

well all the above ideas went down like a lead ballon. but hey ho, sink or swim buddy sink or swim.

ZTD

pania wrote: »

well all the above ideas went down like a lead ballon.

That's because they were designed to be practical and effective. The word "popular" did not appear in that sentence.

pania

yup, i gotta give it to you Z, the hammer definately connected with the nail head on that one!!

redsquirrel80

Hey P.. sorry to hear you're having a difficult couple of days :grouphug: Can't add much advice-wise to what's been said but I hope you sort out a way to carry on being supportive to OH without making the money probs worse, and to get through it all together x

pania

hey squizzel, (what i aways used to call squirrels when i was young) Thanks for posting hope all going ok your end. Gradually sorting stuff out here and there we are talking adn getting through i together. He is currently out clearing his car out to clean it and get it on the market, which is a start.
Thanks for your support, miss the running thread just don't have the energy to get over there at the moment. Hugs. xx

redsquirrel80

pania wrote: »

hey squizzel, (what i aways used to call squirrels when i was young) Thanks for posting hope all going ok your end. Gradually sorting stuff out here and there we are talking adn getting through i together. He is currently out clearing his car out to clean it and get it on the market, which is a start.
Thanks for your support, miss the running thread just don't have the energy to get over there at the moment. Hugs. xx

Hehe, I like it - I used to call them squiggles Glad to hear you're talking and at least he's starting to make an effort - deep down he probably knows you're right but doesn't want to admit it.

Things just meandering along here really, got nasty cold which has floored me a bit - no running this week, and probably no work for the rest of the week.. I dragged myself in the last few days but had to admit defeat today. Oh and in a DFW way I resent spending money on cough & cold stuff! :rolleyes: