Back and Feeling rather ashamed!

pania

Erm hello, rather shy voice here. I came onto the boards in September last year
with my debt worries and full of good intentions. Sadly i lost access to the internet both work and home based and things have been slipping financially.

You guys were all so fantastic with your advice and wisdom for me and i was really hoping that maybe i could re-join your support network? it's fantastic to read that since i've been gone you've all been so succesful. Lynzpower getting debt free especially, and good to hear you're feeling much better to:T among other success stories, just shows MSE is a god send to many!

So financially things have gone to pot a bit. OH keeps going on at me about money, he wants to go out, have fun, eat take aways, but earns a very low wage so most of the time i pay, and i just don't have the spare cash to do it. My debt repayment costs have escalated, good in someways really bad in others. I'm still waiting for the commission from my work to start coming in but this has been subject to endless delays. Hopefully once it starts things will be much easier and those bl**!y debts will finally start to diminish. Until then i'll suffer the wrath of the OH who knows all about the debt issue but can't understand why we have to suffer as a couple because of it.

I have over the past year felt completely finished and have had help to sort my head out with regards to all that. Happily i no longer feel that way and have some courage to start battling this again.:T

So here is a run down of things that have happened to me since last year
Before i left the boards my parents had just discovered the extent of my debt and things were decidedly frosty. I moved 150 miles from home to escape the frostyness (is that a word:rotfl:) which involved a change of employment. father still not talking to me and employer threatening i will be fired if i miss any payments to my creditors!:eek: not exactly compliant with FSA regulations but there you go. Currently undergoing monthly financial reviews with my boss! I'm certainly feeling the pressure with this and keep waking up at 4 am every morning, so you may find a few early morning postings from me!

Have taken out another high interest loan to avoid a default notice which would def have lost me my job (only £350 but total amount to pay back is £575:eek:

have launched a claim with the Abbey for whacking me with £1000 of charges in 3 months for going no further than £20 over my overdraft limit in any one go! spoke to them this morning, watch this space!

however on the plus side i've opened three savings accounts for debt repayment and have £10 in each one currently, hey it's a starting point and first time i've had anything in savings for three years!
I'm also living with the OH now, he pays the bills i pay the rent. He is horrendous with money, spending it before it's earnt but our bank accounts thank god are entirely seperate. i'm slowly but gently educating him on the ways of the DFW!:o (for slowly and gently read frequently yelling and shouting!)

Oh, and i wrote my car off, was writing last year that it was the bain of my life with engine problems and tyres and.... I crashed it!! slightly extreme but gave me the means to clear some bills and move up here! definately not an advised method of finance raising!:rolleyes:

Sorry for rambling, i'm probably using this as a sounding board for my own thoughts but just want to see if i can come back into the fold as a prodigal DFW. Any responses gratefully received.

Kind wishes and happy saving!
P:p

catewithers

Hi Pania - no need to feel ashamed - no one's perfect and I for one have done much the same thing before - known it's a problem and carried on spending regardless!

Sounds like you've had a tough time with your parents and your boss sound like a bit of a dragon!!

Hang in there and well done on making some steps to changing things.

rayday2

Hmm nice to see you but not sure I will follow your car advice

But I do have a dog that is the bain of my life, bloomin thing has decided it can clear fences and no way am I redoing garden boundaries - arghhhh

Anyway welcome back!

Shineyhappy

Hey! Welcome back!

I think you should take more of a firm hand with your OH, have you taken him through your SOA and shown him you really cant afford things like takeaways? If he knows just how upset you are, he shouldnt try to persuade you to spend money on treats if you dont want to. Maybe you could gently suggest if he wants to do those things he gets a better paid job?

Good luck trying to get through this!

Storm

Hi Pania, and welcome back!

Why don't you pop up a new SoA, and we'll see if there's any savings you could make. Try the snowball for a DFD - it really does help, especially as you can see how an extra £10/£20 a month can make a difference

I'm assuming that you work in finance as your boss is saying you'll lose your job if you default - if this is against the FSA regulations, then find the relevant section & stick it under his/her nose - this is one hassle/stress that you don't need!

Good luck

hypno06

Welcome back and don't be ashamed - be proud of the fact that you recognise you still need to be here with these lovely DFW peeps!!

Re work - are they referring to the fit and proper persons test and how are they able to find out if you are on top of things - are they credit checking you every month? I would want to find out if I were you. Many places do annual credit checks, but generally for missing one or two payments you would not fall foul of any rules.

Pop up that new SOA and lets have a rummage around for some savings.

pania

Gosh that was a quick response!! 3 in ten minutes, you're certainly not deserted on here. Thanks guys. :-)
Unfortunately the other half is quite young and has a spend it when you've got it and worry about it before payday attitude. If i try to sit him down he cops the hump so would rather confront him when it comes up. He says he's stressed over money, yeah cos he can't spend mine!!!
My boss is a bit of a nightmare, problem is as a morgage advisor i'm not meant to get any CCJ's (which i don't have) so why this strict monitoring over 3 historical defaults which have been well managed for 3 years i've no idea, especially to have my employmet terminated if i miss a payment, sounds concerning to me. But i'm able to work from home and thus have internet access all day! yay!
Anyway Catewithers you have plenty to be proud of yourself, ten stone lost!! You go girl! i have massive respect for you for committing yourself to that, welldone!

Re the dog jumping fence issue, have a background in dog training and psychology, let me know if i can help!! Bloomin animals!

anyway thanks for welcoming me back guys. i know my problems can be faced and dealt with and the support will make it so much easier.
Kind wishes
P

pania

hi hypno 006 yes i do work in finance. about 3 years ago i suffered extreme depression after a number of cataclysmic events in my life and career and had to leave my career and take a massive paycut through ill health this resulted in the inevitable financial issues at the time and i picked up a few defaults. I moved into mortgage advice last year with my credit rating exactly the same as it is right now with no problems. when i changed employment my credit rating (3 defaults no ccj's all historic from losing my job) was called into question and for a while i wasn't going to be offered a contract. My debt has in no way ever affected my judgement or ethics when it comes to my work.
I am awaiting clarification but i believe that i will have to produce my monthly bank statements for my boss to look at and a monthly credit check. If there is any evidence of missed payments or further credit being obtained my fit and proper persons authorisation wil be removed. I believed that FSA regulations dictate CCJ's IVA's or bankrutcy which i certainly don't have any history of! do you have any knowledge of this?

With regard sthe new SOA i'll get working on it and post it sometime this avo.

Thanks guys.
P

pania

sorry guys, has anyone got a snowball calculator link to hand? cannae find one!

Thankyooooooooooo!!
P

hypno06

https://www.whatsthecost.com

for the snowball calculator

just going to get the fsa stuff for you...back soon

hypno06

http://www.fsa.gov.uk/pubs/hb-releases/rel27/rel27fit.pdf

hope this clears things up for you!