Back and Feeling rather ashamed!

ZTD

pania wrote: »

I have supported and paid his way so much over the last few months to the detriment of my own debt payments and have just matched betted £100 for him to give him £150 return which i couldn't afford to do and have skinted myself for this month in the process. I just don't know what else to do to help him and keep myself afloat at same time. I know everyone has to hit their LBM at their own time but why oh why did it have to be just as i was getting things straight?
I will always be there for him and always sacrifice things to help him but i thought i saw light at the end of the tunnel. Fat chance.

Awww.... :grouphug: Sorry you're having such a bad day.

Just as a question - how did you hit your own LBM?

hypno06

I'm around all morning until 1pm. Kettle is always on! Pop over as and when you are able x

hypno06

Ooh, scuse me for hijacking a moment but I need ZTD's help (!). The latest batch of yoghurt is not thickening - has been in the airing cupboard for over 24 hours now. What can I do????? Should I move it somewhere warmer/give up? I can't see that I have done anything else differently!

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

Ooh, scuse me for hijacking a moment but I need ZTD's help (!). The latest batch of yoghurt is not thickening - has been in the airing cupboard for over 24 hours now. What can I do????? Should I move it somewhere warmer/give up? I can't see that I have done anything else differently!

The only time I've never had it thicken was when it wasn't warm enough - it was about the same thickness as drinking yoghurt after 24 hours.

I left it in for 48 hours and that thickened it up.

Do you prefer it thick?

pania

I hit my own LBM one day when i went to the supermarket to buy some food. i had a basketful and my card was declined. I had nothing to eat until next payday and even then had £50 to last the month. I sat down one day and added up the amount of my debt which at that point stood at 38,000. and cried and cried and cried. I had people demanding mney and my mum nad dad were growing more and more suspicious. I had a very nasty, erm, episode that isn't for these pages and i couldn't cope with it anymore.
I had been playing with it for ages with dca's etc but not actually committed myself to the cause. Then it hit me as a sledge hammer demolishes a brick wall. i had to do something about it. And that was it really!! Here i am, regaling/boring you all with my day in day out tribulations but boy does it help!! and the support you get in return... wow!!
How about yourself? thanks for the hugs.
Hypno see you in the morning then if you're sure thats ok. But i'll make the coffee, give your arms a rest. x

ZTD

pania wrote: »

I hit my own LBM one day when i went to the supermarket to buy some food. i had a basketful and my card was declined. I had nothing to eat until next payday and even then had £50 to last the month.

If someone had, at that time, given you £50-£100 to tide you over the month, do you think you would have had your LBM?

pania

i think it was the cumulative effect and months of struggling. i just didn't want to struggle any more. for months my ex gave me money to tide me over and yup that more than likely delayed my LBM, when i realised things had to change i realised that he also had to change i.e vamoos! I realised that he enjoyed me being dependant on him and i couldn't live with such a negative influence.
So no i think the LBM would've happened but yes it was more than likely delayed by the situation.

ZTD

pania wrote: »

i think it was the cumulative effect and months of struggling. i just didn't want to struggle any more. for months my ex gave me money to tide me over and yup that more than likely delayed my LBM, when i realised things had to change i realised that he also had to change i.e vamoos! I realised that he enjoyed me being dependant on him and i couldn't live with such a negative influence.
So no i think the LBM would've happened but yes it was more than likely delayed by the situation.

And that by doing the same for your partner, you may have delayed his LBM?

pania

point taken. When you love someone and they come to you cap in hand first instinct is to try to help. Have even told him today that i would speak to welcome to see if i could extend my loan to help him out and found me kicking myself as a result. I think he is taking me helping him for granted and knows that as i had such a negative experience with someone making me deliberately dependant on them that i would bend over backwards to help him whether financially, emotionally or any way possible. Perhaps i need to remove that crutch slightly, although i know through the difference in him and the fact that he has actually confessed all to me today that the light bulb is glowing brightly right now! not sure what to do for best now?

pania

Point taken. Just not sure what to do for thebest. i have no doubt due to recent changes in him that the lightbulb is glowing brightly right now, and i feel compelled to help him to redress the wrong done to me those few years ago. To genuinely want to help rather than doing it to take someones independance and making them deliberately dependant on you. I think prob is he knows this and that i would bend over backwards and undermine myself to help him. Really not sure what to do for the best now.