MSE pregnancy club II

3KIDSNOMONEY

JillD wrote: »

Hi I am new to this board.
I have DS 4, DD 2 1/2, and a 3rd one due in September. We are very excited etc and this baby was planed but I am in total denial!! Have done nothing in preparation for new baby at all, think this i mainly because its due a week after my son starts school and I very focused on that.

The sleeples nights I am expecting and know there is precious little I can do in the early weeks other than get through it.

I am worried about feeding though. I breastfed DS until he was5 months, it was fairly easy.
DD was a different matter, she struggled, I was in agony for 4 weeks and eventually gave up.
I would like to try with this one but am worried that I am being unrealistic with 2 small ones already and the whole new school run thing.

Can anyone offer any advice on breast feeding 3rd or subsequent children when the older ones are still very young.

Thanks in advance
Jill

THIS WORRIED ME TOO WHEN I WAS EXPECTING MY THIRD, BUT I HOPE YOU FIND THAT A THIRD CHILD JUST FITS IN WITH THE FAMILY AND SOMETIMES HAS TO WAIT. I PANICKED ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THE BABY NEEDED FEEDING WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR SCHOOL, BUT EVERYTHING SEEMED TO WORK OUT. I HAD MORE TROUBLE WHEN MY SON WAS THREE AND HE DECIDED THAT HE NEEDED TO SIT ON THE TOILET FOR AGES AT 8.30 ON A SCHOOL MORNING

Curious_George_2

fac73 wrote: »

What do you do when the Gods conspire against you attending antenatal classes?

The NCT cannot fit me in no matter how much I have begged. And I have left several messages for the lady who sorts out the NHS ones - she is only available on a mobile number, and you're only supposed to call in a 1 hour window each week - she has never called me back and at 27 weeks I am thinking there's no chance... the only other private organisation I've found 'might' be able to squeeze me in, I am waiting for a response...

if it makes you feel any better I havent been to a single class, with either of my pregnancys... i honestly didnt see the point
I have books, i read them and as far as i was concerned they were better than a class as the book telling you how to do everything from changing a nappy to expressing breastmilk will be to hand at home whenever you need it...

And then there's my lovely idea of a homebirth. Everything I've read says I should have a great relationship with my midwife. I've seen this woman twice - how does that work then

you will have a great relationship with her (even if its the first time you have met) she is the one with all the drugs! lol
no really ... she knows what shes doing, so when your in labour she will become your calm saviour, when you your other half and anyone else who happens to be around is going mental (and annoying you!)

bumpybecky

for my last home birth, I didn't meet either of the two midwives or the student who attended me until the day I delivered. Having a great relationship with your midwife is fantastic, but not essential!

Justie

Fac we didn't get any details of our NHS ones until about 20 weeks and then it was a throw away comment that meant we heard about them. We're about to get sick of them though as our NHS ones and NCT ones all start next week over a 2 week period (I'll be 34 weeks and others on the NCT course will be 36+ weeks).

As for feeling kicks - you'll feel them when you feel them. I didn't know anything about the 10 a day so I've never worried about it. I'm currently heartily sick of feeling them though so you're welcome to some of mine Don't get too hung up on what the books say it's only a very rough guide and not all babies do it according to the book

We'd like a home birth too - I've been told to discuss it at my 36 week midwife appointment... I think especially if you have a team of midwives it's more likely that you'll never have met the midwife who attend you or you may have met her once. I've been wanting to discuss my birth plan since about week 16 because I read about it in books but actually there's no point doing it before about 36 weeks as if you go into labour early it's all out the window anyway and by 36 weeks you have a rough idea if there are going to be any issues that will restrict your choices.

As my mum keeps saying - we know too much these days. In her day she just got on with it and was oblivious to most things...

Curious_George_2

I think too much can be made of this midwife relationship we are all supposed to have,
the 2 that delivered my daughter i hadnt met before the day

and this time ive seen a different midwife at every appointment and scan ive attended, actually.... thinking about it i definitely WONT meet my delivery midwife until the day i have this one either as im doing it at a completely different hospital and its slightly out of my local midwifey area
and i cant honestly say i care...
as long as when im in labour there is someone there who knows whats going on and can help me and the baby if we need it... then im happy!

daphne_descends

What would I do without this thread, you're all so rational and calm!

I promise I'm going to stop panicking now - one way or another this baby will come out, however prepared (or not) I am.

Had a call from a lovely lady at the NCT last night who was very reassuring as well and said I should have confidence in my body and my ability to give birth. Reminded me it's a natural process and there isn't anything to fear really.

Has anyone got the NCT magazine with the DVD of two births on it? I told her they made it look easy (actually I only watched one before my partner started to look a bit pale) and she said that's because it IS easy... ha ha. But she's given me a couple of numbers to call for possibly some classes and someone who can help with the idea of a home birth.

It's made me re-address the thought of a hospital birth though and the good thing is I don't think I'm as scared as I was - I just don't want much intervention really, I do see it as a natural process, this is what I'm designed to do and I'm not different to the millions of women who've done it before... but the word hospital doesn't make me want to cry anymore, so what happens, happens

And Eels has reminded me that it's not a good thing to be so presumptuous as things don't always go to plan - got to be more realistic.

So, anyone recommend any good books?!

Eels100

Our NHS classes were no big deal at all. We had physio sessions (mostly relaxation - cue lots of us rolling around on the floor trying to stifle giggles while listening to panpipes) and the MW led sessions with general advice on feeding/bathing/choosing nappies etc. Nothing really new (and I'm coming from a completely inexperienced background) and nothing we won't get shown after the birth.

As for the MW relationship, I'm being cared for by a team of 3 community MWs, who are all fab, but my named MW who's meant to be my main carer-type-person I've only seen twice. Now she's gone on holiday and won't be back 'til after my baby's born. Handy! Like Curious George though, I'm having my baby elsewhere so I won't know any of the midwives until the day. It doesn't bother me really, I think close personal relationships go out the window when you're trying to expel a watermelon from a hosepipe

And Fac, yes, I agree about things not going to plan. Everyone told me 'don't get too fixed on any ideas, be flexible' but I just thought it was piffle that didn't apply to me. Now I'm having to deal with the very last kind of birth I would have hoped for and it's been hard to try and adjust to think positively.

The best book I have is by Lesley Regan (think she's quite a well respected obstetrician) and it's called Pregnancy Week by Week or something. It's not really 'week by week' but it's got lots of detail and a nice informal style so worth a read. I also got 'Pregnancy Bible' by Anne Deans, which is better for poring over what new appendage your baby has grown on a weekly basis, and has good pics, but I don't like it as much as a reference.

Curious_George_2

fac73 wrote: »

It's made me re-address the thought of a hospital birth though and the good thing is I don't think I'm as scared as I was - I just don't want much intervention really, I do see it as a natural process, this is what I'm designed to do and I'm not different to the millions of women who've done it before... but the word hospital doesn't make me want to cry anymore, so what happens, happens

see thats where i think im different to most women,
i would not entertain the idea of a home birth even if you paid me!

i want to be in hospital with as much expertise and equipment on hand as possible!
I dont see being in hospital as having much "intervention"... i dont want a c section, i dont want loads of drugs, i dont even want an epidural (had my DD on gas and air) but thats as natural as its going to get for me!
no whale song, no aromatherapy and no eccentric tree hugging bead wearing doula woman telling me to imagine the light coming from within my beautiful opening flower
*ok, that was an awful stereotype but you get what i mean!*

I dont want to scare anybody here out of thier home birth decisions but as far as im concerned (and im fully prepared for it just to be me!)
giving birth is the most stressful thing i can put my body through (not to mention the poor baby!) and if things go wrong and i need help i want it NOW, the last thing i want is to be sat in a luke warm paddling pool in my front room worrying how long the ambulance is going to take,

hell.... im that paranoid about the whole thing ive even refused to give birth at my local midwife only led center... im going to a proper hospital, with doctors and lights and that funny smell and the machines that go BING!

Justie

which is why women should have choice in their birthing decisions. We all want different things and want to avoid different things. Personally I'd rather be at home than in a hospital but we're 2 minutes from our maternity unit so I feel as though we have the best of both worlds, if for any reason I can't give birth at home we then have a choice (currently) of midwife led care and possibly a water birth or obstetric led care should it be needed - not something that will be a choice for much longer as they're moving all obstetric care to the main hospital 40 minutes away :mad:

3KIDSNOMONEY

Hi,

i recently added myself to the list.

been for first midwife appointment and now feel in limbo. no scan until 5 more weeks and midwife appointment in 6 or so weeks. i have problems with OCD and depression and really feel like 'what have i done'. i know that sounds awful but my hormones are all over the place. not sure whether to tell people, i know things can go wrong but listening to all the tests that are done and probable results, things could go wrong at any time. i hate waiting for test results and always fear the worst (part of OCD) and am beginning to wonder how i will cope.