Need a little advice re gold digger

Money_maker

Or maybe the OP's dad is just happy.

He wants to marry her. He doesn't appear to have complained to the OP about her. Try welcoming her with open arms - you may be surprised.

Alternatively, there are many scenarios where you could get your dad alone in this country. OP, does this woman have any children?

getridgolddigger

Sometimes life gets into a point where if you really care 2 mins phone call is not enough.
If you really want to know the situation, how bad he is and if there are concerns to be had you need to see him.
Either getting him here, or you there.
I am getting to see him and trust me it took a lot of work to get this to happen.
Also you need to consider the laws of both countries if he is resident there and also plans to get married there.
His main residence is here, his other home is a holiday home.
If you are calling her gold digger without ever actually having proper time spent with her and voicing your concerns in such a clumsy way as you are here (that everyone things you are only interested in money), no wonder he is not very sharing with you...
I may be talking clumsy as I am trying to not make my family easily identified, as I have already said I am not interested in the money.
If you are so concerned she doesn't even let him read your emails, how the hell do you think he is going to pass you message that he even needs help if he does?????
Good question, I'd love to know the best route I've tried everything that I can think of.

getridgolddigger

Having never asked this sort of question before I do not know what information you need. As you ask for something I give it. We're only looking at UK law as the other home is a holiday home and the wedding will be here.
"He doesn't appear to have complained to the OP about her."
He has in the past, even arranged for a sibling to go and help him kick her out if needed. Nothing recently but we can't talk to him alone.
I tried welcoming her and the result was not very nice.
She has grown kids in her home country who we do not know or know anything about.
We're trying to get him alone but she does not seem to leave him alone, even to visit her kids. Last time she went to visit her kids he went too.

Joons

getridgolddigger wrote: »

Having never asked this sort of question before I do not know what information you need. As you ask for something I give it. We're only looking at UK law as the other home is a holiday home and the wedding will be here.
"He doesn't appear to have complained to the OP about her."
He has in the past, even arranged for a sibling to go and help him kick her out if needed. Nothing recently but we can't talk to him alone.
I tried welcoming her and the result was not very nice.
She has grown kids in her home country who we do not know or know anything about.
We're trying to get him alone but she does not seem to leave him alone, even to visit her kids. Last time she went to visit her kids he went too.

What a horrible situation you are in, she sounds truly awful, almost like she is trying to prevent you having time on your own with him. Does she work, is there days she leaves the house and he is alone?

tesuhoha

getridgolddigger wrote: »

Having never asked this sort of question before I do not know what information you need. As you ask for something I give it. We're only looking at UK law as the other home is a holiday home and the wedding will be here.
"He doesn't appear to have complained to the OP about her."
He has in the past, even arranged for a sibling to go and help him kick her out if needed. Nothing recently but we can't talk to him alone.
I tried welcoming her and the result was not very nice.
She has grown kids in her home country who we do not know or know anything about.
We're trying to get him alone but she does not seem to leave him alone, even to visit her kids. Last time she went to visit her kids he went too.

Maybe you should be as rude and blunt to her and tell her that you are going to speak to your dad alone and she is not invited.

getridgolddigger

"What a horrible situation you are in, she sounds truly awful, almost like she is trying to prevent you having time on your own with him. Does she work, is there days she leaves the house and he is alone?"
Not as far as I can see, I do not know how she gets her money, I suspect that dad pays for alot.
"Maybe you should be as rude and blunt to her and tell her that you are going to speak to your dad alone and she is not invited."
So wish I could but I'm not that sort of person, I hate confrontations especially as my children will be there.

Joons

getridgolddigger wrote: »

"What a horrible situation you are in, she sounds truly awful, almost like she is trying to prevent you having time on your own with him. Does she work, is there days she leaves the house and he is alone?"
Not as far as I can see, I do not know how she gets her money, I suspect that dad pays for alot.
"Maybe you should be as rude and blunt to her and tell her that you are going to speak to your dad alone and she is not invited."
So wish I could but I'm not that sort of person, I hate confrontations especially as my children will be there.

That's not being confrontational, you are entitled to time with your dad alone, ie, not including her, go for it, sounds like you may regret it otherwise.

getridgolddigger

Thanks Joons, I'll give it a go and let you know.

NAR

OP I said in post #4 about making a will; perhaps he will not be classed as medically capable of making one. Therefore when you meet him you should do your best to agree to you having POA.
Check out Help The Aged as they have good advice to give on vulnerable adults being preyed on, if you feel that is/could happen.

Joons

NAR wrote: »

OP I said in post #4 about making a will; perhaps he will not be classed as medically capable of making one. Therefore when you meet him you should do your best to agree to you having POA.
Check out Help The Aged as they have good advice to give on vulnerable adults being preyed on, if you feel that is/could happen.

Excellent advice.