Need a little advice re gold digger

Joons

getridgolddigger wrote: »

My father is 60+ with a degerative mental disease which affect his personality.
The money has never been considered mine, I was told as a young teenager that all the money would be going to my younger sibling and that I was on my own, so I'm not after the money.
She is 50/60 and in no way a looker but neither is my father.
She has done a few things that I can't explain without making it very clear who we are, but were very hurtful to other members of our family.
Please don't get me wrong I already have step relations who are lovely.
I just want to protect my dad as he says one thing when she is not there and another when she is. She's already made me unwelcome in his home and I feel I am loosing him as my dad.

She doesn't sound very nice at all, no wonder you are concerned, I think you are right to try and get something legal drawn up, with the agreemenot of your dad.

Joons

Person_one wrote: »

Um, maybe you would...

My dad would be a lost soul if my mum went first. There's no way he'd ever be ok on his own. If somebody made him happy and treated him well in his final years, I wouldn't care where they were from or whether they were after his money.

That's great for you then.

Money_maker

A 2 minute call and you want to protect him? How about going to see him (regardless of whether she be there or not) and assessing him then? You are not looking out for your family when you only speak to them for 2 minutes!

Joons

Mojisola wrote: »

If you are married to the man, it isn't that simple. Married people have inheritance rights and can contest a will - especially if it leaves them homeless.

I'm talking about my house, not a house jointly owned, it all depends on your circs but no way is my money going anywhere but my daughter's bank account, whether I get married or not.

Person_one

Joons wrote: »

That's great for you then.

You think it would be better for him to be lonely and unhappy in his final years so that I can do up the kitchen or go on a nice holiday after he pops his clogs?

getridgolddigger

Next of kin is me on all official paperwork. Unless they have changed that, I did paperwork to that effect last year, it maybe that he still has some where my mum is his next of kin as he only does the paperwork that is urgent and then he gets someone else to do it for him.
The illness is as a result of a head injury that happened many many years ago.

Rottensocks

Based on what you say here, it is possibly worth contacting Social services? This will do nothing to save any money of his, but if you feel he is being influenced and forced into things it may be worth getting tehir advice, as he is vulnerable given his illness.

In terms of future finances, and decision about his health, do any of you have power of attorney? Alternatively, you can check and find out if anyone else has power of attorney too!

I doubt they will tell you very much, but perhaps contacting family GP would be of use also? It would concern me not in terms of inheritance, but if your father needed proper residential care due to his illness, he could be left with only basic government care package if "wifey" clears off with the cash.

I would be beside myself with worry if this was my parent: whether they had money or not.

Joons

Person_one wrote: »

You think it would be better for him to be lonely and unhappy in his final years so that I can do up the kitchen or go on a nice holiday after he pops his clogs?

If you think so, go for it.

Joons

getridgolddigger wrote: »

Next of kin is me on all official paperwork. Unless they have changed that, I did paperwork to that effect last year, it maybe that he still has some where my mum is his next of kin as he only does the paperwork that is urgent and then he gets someone else to do it for him.
The illness is as a result of a head injury that happened many many years ago.

The head injury is worrying, you definitely need to try and talk to your dad to protect his assets etc, have you actually had any kind of conversation about it?

getridgolddigger

My calls to him go unanswered. Sorry but he lives in another country so I can't pop down and see him as I please. I wish I could. I email regulary, send him DVD's of his grandchildren doing activities that he missed and email photo's, but she has control of his email account so I do not know if he gets them.