Can't decide whether to have kids or not

marleyboy

Having a child was the best thing that happened to us. We let fate decide for us, as we are both in our forties. We would never want to turn the clock back nor regret having our Son. The extra duties involved in parenting is more than worth it to us.

an9i77

I always thought I wanted kids but a big part of the motivation to have them was the thought that i'd regret not having them in the future, as a woman I only have a limited window of time to have children and then the eggs are all dried up and that opportunity has gone.

Now I have a child (and another on the way) I can't imagine life without him, at the risk of sounding soppy and angering the people on the trials and tribulations thread it is a love unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

Mother nature is crafty and created this thing called 'love' to enable us to not only put up with all the demands of a child, but willingly go back for more!

Having said that if you're not sure you want them, maybe you don't. I have a female friend who says this, she's nearly 40, I say if you're not sure by now I think that's a no.

I don't know your age, or your gender, but maybe you have plenty of time to decide.

geoffky

I was a take it or leave it as far as kids were concerned...I then had them and now i am absolutely sure that i can not stand the little !!!!!!s..

lisaann72red

It can be a scaring, daunting, frightening, expensive, stressful, tiring, draining, emotional ..... but oh my god words cant express how wonderful and fulfilling and joyous it is to spend time with your children they make me smile everyday I have 4 beautiful children and its like I have won the lottery

edeneve

Hi...well I have no regrets about having kids...this from someone who never wanted kids...I have 4 teens from first long marriage and two are leaving home for uni this year and two in next 2 years....I am really proud of them and yes its not always been easy, especially as over last 7 year have been mostly a single mum with relationships not working out as expected. BUT I wouldn't change things for the world, little ones are physically tiring and teens mentally exhausting lol but I couldn't imagine life without them.

I also have three little ones, 2 from abusive, cheating ex-hub and ex bf who left as family didnt approve of a divorcee but lets not get into that. There is an 11 yr gap between the kids as I had not planned on having any more kids but then didnt plan on divorce either, funny how life works out, but glad it did work out that way now.

It is hard on my own, but I have built a good life around my children, so that I can enjoy them, I work from home having set up my own businesses. I spent 10yrs in uni education and had a great career but gave it up as needed be there for kids, so had to change my job to suit them. Now in my 40's I can honestly say I love being a mum and having little ones and older ones, it can be hard but I have no regrets, maybe have regrets about my choice in men but not having the kids.

Relationships have no guarantees and yes kids can make or break a relationship, but I would never not have kids to keep a partner, as that partner may up and leave one day anyway and then you may have serious regrets.

Kids will always be there, there will always be people around, grandkids etc and even if men come and go there is still family! My house is a busy one, lots of comings and goings but I couldnt imagine it any other way.

I could not imagine a life without kids but that is just me.