Can't decide whether to have kids or not

notanewuser

There was a programme on a couple of weeks ago about a woman who had twins, then 10 months later have birth to triplets that she didn't know she was expecting. She has 5 children in the same school year!!! :eek:

peachyprice

marisco wrote: »

Were there twins on either side of your families? Twins hadn't jumped a generation since my great grandmother. So I grew up accepting that there was always the possibility I could fall pregnant with twins myself. Partly the reason why I held off having children till my late 20s.

I was rather relieved to find out at my 12 week scan that I was expecting one baby. He was more than enough to cope with on our introduction to parenthood. I have huge respect for people who have multiples as their firsts.

See, you're sensible. My mum's family is riddled with twins, my aunties are twins, my great-grandmother had three sets. Did it ever enter my pretty little head that it would happen to me? No, not even a miniscule niggle buried in the back of my mind. To say I was shocked when there were two is an understatement.

I blame my grandmother, she bought me a twin dolls pram when I was two. Do you know how difficult it was for her to find one in 1967? Like rocking horse poo. But she found one, just for me, and two of those life size dolls they used to put in knitting shop windows. I swear there was something supernatural going on there.

DUKE

I've heard people say that although they wouldn't be without their kids, however, if they had their time again they wouldn't have any.

I never had any kids because I never wanted any, & I've got no regrets at all.

motherofstudents

It certainly is life changing. It's like you have two lives, one before and one after. The 'before kids' sometimes feels like it's someone else. I think it must be hard when you're not sure. If you really want to have children or you have decided you don't that must be so much easier.

I never wanted to have children. I don't know what happened, something changed and I have never regretted it. It is worrying, exhausting, expensive but also rewarding, wonderful and life enhancing.

meer53

I had 2 completely unexpected pregnancies. Well yes, i know what caused them, it's just that they both took me by surprise. Especially the one when i was 42 !

I now have the most wonderful 26 year old son, and a beautiful ( but sometimes very annoying) 12 year old daughter.

I can't describe how much i love them both. Children are the true meaning of unconditional love. I truly can't imagine never having the experience of them being in my life.

It's not all sweetness and light, but for me, i would never want to have to look back and think "what if ?"

marisco_2

peachyprice wrote: »

I blame my grandmother, she bought me a twin dolls pram when I was two. Do you know how difficult it was for her to find one in 1967? Like rocking horse poo. But she found one, just for me, and two of those life size dolls they used to put in knitting shop windows. I swear there was something supernatural going on there.

Thank your lucky stars she didn't buy you one of these and three dolls or you might have had triplets

heartbreak_star

As an aside, it does annoy me when my mum says "ah but if your OH was the RIGHT man you'd WANT to have his babies".

He IS the right one for me. NEITHER of us want children.

I wish the docs would sterilise me, but I'm only 33.

HBS x

bitemebankers

DUTR wrote: »

Well if everybody thought like that, nobody would be here.

Not true. There are plenty of accidental pregnancies.

thunderbird

If you don't really want them then I wouldn't try and convince yourself that you should.
Remember it is not just about having a baby and the changes that brings. They are there for the rest of your life!

I do sometimes wonder what life would be like without children - I think the answer is just 'different'. Probably more stable - never experience so much love and so much worry as when you have children.

marisco_2

heartbreak_star wrote: »

As an aside, it does annoy me when my mum says "ah but if your OH was the RIGHT man you'd WANT to have his babies"

I dont blame you for being annoyed about that comment. Couples can be perfect for each other and only need each other. Whilst for many there is a natural desire to want to have children it doesn't apply to all. Just because you take that life choice does not mean you are with the wrong man.