Interviews

studentphil

It is true that I am so used to living like this that I don't push to be allowed to do more because of fear they will disapprove. It is fair really at my age that I should be able to go out and do stuff and I am sure once I have my own financial stability they will respect me more as a man.

I will try to stand up more and do what I like from now on.

They need not worry as I don't really like drinking and I don't smoke.

studentphil

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

And what's that got to do with the price of fish?

DS2 is 17. OK, he's not disabled but he has been beaten up down at the local shops while doing his paper round. Does that stop him going out and doing his paper round, going to Explorers, or going out whenever he feels like it, to do whatever he feels like doing? Nope. Do I stop him when he says "I'm going out?" Nope. (Actually I'd be hard pressed to do that, as he's taller than me now!)

Do I approve of him meeting his friends for experimental drinking sessions and illegal barbecues? Nope. Do I worry about him whenever he's just 'gone out' or off drinking and illegally barbecueing? You bet.

I DO ask where he's going and roughly when he'll be back, so I know when to start worrying and where to tell the police to start looking for him if he doesn't make it back by a reasonable hour. I DO ask him to let me know when he'll be late home from school (yes, he's still at school) and whether he'll want feeding when he gets in. But these are the courtesies we observe when we live in families. Heck, I tell him where I'm going, whether he's interested or not!

Just Do It, Phil ... Grow Up, that is.

illegally barbecueing-- how can cooking some burgers be wrong?

what's that got to do with the price of fish?
People my age generally do start developing relationships with people of the opposite sex so to be a normal person I need to do that. That does not mean I am going to end up a father as my parents worry about.

I know it is right they should be concerned at what I do but I do need to stand up more and stop being treated like a kid.

Savvy_Sue

studentphil wrote: »

illegally barbecueing-- how can cooking some burgers be wrong?

There are some places where for obvious reasons barbecues are against byelaws, eg in or near some woodlands, open spaces etc. And for some reason it hadn't occurred to these otherwise bright kids that if you gather on an area of open grassland in plain view of widely used roads, surrounded by kite flyers, dog walkers and football player, and light barbecues in contravention of the byelaws then it's likely that at some point the police will appear ...

And yes, they did know they shouldn't be having barbecues there! Fortunately the police started on another group, giving my son's lot time to move off discreetly!

studentphil wrote: »

what's that got to do with the price of fish?

It's a phrase I learned from my MIL. Very useful when my sons make excuses for why they haven't done as I asked them - their excuses are completely irrelevant. They choose not to do as I asked, just as you choose to stay in your room churning out the self pity rather than getting out and doing something - anything - about it.

studentphil wrote: »

People my age generally do start developing relationships with people of the opposite sex so to be a normal person I need to do that. That does not mean I am going to end up a father as my parents worry about.

Normality is overrated. Thoughtful independence of thought and action are not.

Morglin

"That does not mean I am going to end up a father as my parents worry about."




Use protection.

Then you won't become a father before it's what you want (and can afford).

Simple but effective.

Lin

studentphil

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

There are some places where for obvious reasons barbecues are against byelaws, eg in or near some woodlands, open spaces etc. And for some reason it hadn't occurred to these otherwise bright kids that if you gather on an area of open grassland in plain view of widely used roads, surrounded by kite flyers, dog walkers and football player, and light barbecues in contravention of the byelaws then it's likely that at some point the police will appear ...

And yes, they did know they shouldn't be having barbecues there! Fortunately the police started on another group, giving my son's lot time to move off discreetly!

It's a phrase I learned from my MIL. Very useful when my sons make excuses for why they haven't done as I asked them - their excuses are completely irrelevant. They choose not to do as I asked, just as you choose to stay in your room churning out the self pity rather than getting out and doing something - anything - about it.

Normality is overrated. Thoughtful independence of thought and action are
not.

I see what you mean about the burgers now. It is not really a safe hobby for him to have by

From now on I am going to push forward to make progress and stand up to my parents.

I will attempt to remain independant in thought.

studentphil

Morglin wrote: »

"That does not mean I am going to end up a father as my parents worry about."




Use protection.

Then you won't become a father before it's what you want (and can afford).

Simple but effective.

Lin

My parents need not wory anyway as we need to know each othe far longer in my book before we get to any of those activities

brazilianwax

Geez.

I never waited months to indulge in the physical act of love (**snort**).

Am almost 30, married and have no babies.

How did I manage that?!

studentphil

This is a good laugh, I did not get that job because I have not worked a till before. So much for supporting and helping people grow. I could have picked that up very quickly.

You have to laugh but it is annoying at that same time too as they said my application was otherwise very good.

So where do you find a job where you can do every little task a job wants before you have even started, what happened to learning on the job?

studentphil

brazilianwax wrote: »

Geez.

I never waited months to indulge in the physical act of love (**snort**).

Am almost 30, married and have no babies.

How did I manage that?!

By having different views and values to me.

brazilianwax

studentphil wrote: »

By having different views and values to me.

eh???