Interviews

studentphil

What my parents don't get is even though they don't get on that I in fact like my girlfriend and enjoy being with her and she won't lead me into bad things as she has her own career hopes and standards.

studentphil

TOBRUK wrote: »

You certainly don't act like a man! You can't leave the house without an excuse having to give an explanation of your every move, you can't apply for any job unless your parents approve and you can't have a girlfriend (unless on the sly) unless your parents approve! Stand up and be a man! You have to set out some rules of your own and if your parents answer back and say well if you are living under this roof you have to abide by our rules - move out!

What if you fell in love and wanted to get married and your parents did not approve of your prospective wife what would you do dump her???:rolleyes:

If you applied for the DLA you should be getting you would have the help of getting your own place!

If I wanted to get married I would not dump her if my parents did not approve certainly not.

In a way my having to semi hide having a girlfriend it damages my relationship.

I know I should stand up to them and say I am going to have my own life. What I don't get is I am driven and i am not going to let my career be wasted even if I have to get a poor job for now. I don't like women that are not of good quality and are not decent so my parents have no need to worry.

I am going to sort out DLA.

studentphil

Melissa177 wrote: »

Sadly yes, on the whole.



That said, I'm fairly opinionated myself, so it might be a while until I meet my match!

There is nothing wrong with strong women as it good to have a strong equal who will stand up to you.

Melissa177

So, will you be standing up to your parents?

Sugar_Coated_Owl

studentphil wrote: »

Yes, but they worry she will take me off the rails and that women will take my efforts off my career.

Uhm Phil, what career?

studentphil

Melissa177 wrote: »

So, will you be standing up to your parents?

If I am ever going to be a normal man and have a serious girlfriend and a decent career I am going to have to.


Mum and Dad trust me to make a good choice and jobs and women does not sound so hard to say.

studentphil

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Uhm Phil, what career?

The one I might get one day soon

seven-day-weekend

studentphil wrote: »

I am going to sort out DLA.

Go on then. Do it NOW!!!

Savvy_Sue

studentphil wrote: »

Nar, they don't approve of her.

And what's that got to do with the price of fish?

DS2 is 17. OK, he's not disabled but he has been beaten up down at the local shops while doing his paper round. Does that stop him going out and doing his paper round, going to Explorers, or going out whenever he feels like it, to do whatever he feels like doing? Nope. Do I stop him when he says "I'm going out?" Nope. (Actually I'd be hard pressed to do that, as he's taller than me now!)

Do I approve of him meeting his friends for experimental drinking sessions and illegal barbecues? Nope. Do I worry about him whenever he's just 'gone out' or off drinking and illegally barbecueing? You bet.

I DO ask where he's going and roughly when he'll be back, so I know when to start worrying and where to tell the police to start looking for him if he doesn't make it back by a reasonable hour. I DO ask him to let me know when he'll be late home from school (yes, he's still at school) and whether he'll want feeding when he gets in. But these are the courtesies we observe when we live in families. Heck, I tell him where I'm going, whether he's interested or not!

Just Do It, Phil ... Grow Up, that is.

Morglin

Phil,

Have you not got a close relative who could speak to your parents and make them see how they are damaging you with their behaviour?

You cannot make a decision without them butting in - it's nonsense at your age.:mad:

You may have a disability, but that is no excuse for them to carry on like this - at your age, you can make your own decisions about jobs, girls, going out - whatever.

My two had girlfriends/boyfriends - I may not have liked some of them, but I kept schtum and relied on the fact that I had bought them up to work out who were good people and who were not. Like all of this, they needed to learn by their mistakes.

I think you really need to stand firm against their tantrums and objections and just do as you like - go out and make your phone calls - at the moment you are like a prisoner. Go out with your girlfriend - it's your life.

They won't throw you out - they are the needy ones appearing to want to live life through you.

God, I totally despair of parents like this - they disable their kids emotionally and then think they're being "loving"..:rolleyes:

Lin