In hell: the B.W. Fox debt journal

Seaxwyn

B.W._Fox wrote: »

Just like me, today I tried to call Samaritans but ended up sending away for a pack on how to become a volunteer.

You've also got a fantastic sense of humour. That is the first thing Ive seen on these forums that actually made me laugh out loud.

I'd be chuffed with a fridge magnet for my birthday too. I got a paperback from Oxfam from my OH for my birthday and I was touched with that.

tesuhoha

lynzpower wrote: »

Personally, Id be chuffed if my OH got me anythng for my birthday after the time youve been having. I got nothing for Oh last year ( and I mean nothing) he was quite gutted, but at the end of the day, its shouldnt be about what you buy each other.

your wife sounds like shes got her priorities all wrong.- you ve got a job and your wife has a go at you cos you cant get into more debt

It sounds terrible to mee, I can only suggest relate in the hope she starts to see the damage shes doing on kicking her man when hes down.

As far as I understood it, marriage is all about suporting each others in the crap times not kicking off when things arnt perfect.

Exactly what I was thinking. Couldnt have put it better. Youre not the one in the wrong; your wife is. I would be delighted if my OH thought to go out and buy me a present. I always get nothing. She should be grateful.

bandraoi

You have a job for the next 8 months, that's fantastic!

You can keep looking now for a permanent job without having to worry for 8 MONTHS about the pressure of finding one. There is also every chance that the person on maternity leave won't come back, or that if you impress them they will keep you on anyway. Whatever happens when you finish, 8 months is a long enough job to get a credible reference from them.

Not only that, but you've thought ahead and have saved yourself hundreds of pounds in nursery fees for your daughter.

The 8 months (with a 25% jump in take home!!!) should give you enough leeway to save for the increased naturalisation fee, which I'm guessing will make it easier to get a job once the 8 months is up.

8 months, by my reckoning also brings you to January, which is a time of year when alot of places are hiring and alot of people are moving job.

Sus1e

Foxy,

How are you feeling this morning?

Any thing we can do to help?

I have been quite worried about you over night and logged on first thing to see if there was any updates.

catewithers

Hey Foxy - where have you gone? You doing ok?

Seaxwyn

Morning B.W.

I've been thinking about you too!

You sound such a nice and thoughful person that it's really tough you're in such an unequal relationship with your wife.

It's great that you've got 8 months work now, that's a solid basis to get your citizenship sorted out and find something more permanent.

Please post again and let us know how things are going.

jongar

I empathise with you. As a contractor and I frequently have periods of unemployment - in the old days i cut my spending, but my partner makes me work as a limo driver (I spend 9 months a year on about 60K - the downtime was my holiday). The big difference is I and her have no responsibilities - you do. The bump and the Child need stability, and an 8 month contract is not stable. I would suggest taking the contract, looking for more permanent work and only when that happens say anything. It also might help to remind her that bringing up a child alone is not easy, and as a non naturalised citizen the CSA will have a hard time chasing you - you love you daughter, whether you love her still is up to you, but you need respect for what you have accomplished.

chevalier

Hi there
I really sympathise with both of you. Your OH must feel that everything is slipping, worrying about older child's school, hormones all over the place etc. So I would suggest the following
1) Take the job
2) Do a budget with you increased wages. Include in the budget the extra money you need to get naturalised. And a pot to pay off debts. In this way hopefully your other half will see that you are being proactive
3) Update your cv. There are sites on the web that give you ideas about this
4) In some industries not being a GB citezen is a disadvantage eg defence, some computing jobs etc, but if you are doing PA work then this shouldn't be an issue.
5) Ask her to help you with the cv.
6) Point out to her the clever way you have sorted the childcare so that you don't overpay on this.

Are your debts also making her stressed out? If so then if you haven't posted a statement of affairs on here before (see southernscousers sticky at the top of the forum), then maybe we can help you trim your budget.

And don't forget you love her. Maybe when she sees that you are planning what will happen in the next 8 months it will calm her down.

Best of luck to both of you
chev

eamon

My ex GF would also fly of the handle at the drop of a hat. She needs to lighten up.
Just out of interest are you an EU national? If you are why would you need to naturalise. Also if you aren't, I think you should re-check the becoming a British citizen rules/

yours

Eamon

B.W._Fox

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

Can you go to night school once a week and learn a trade?

That's not such a bad idea. I have it in my head to train to be a teacher, but I think I've missed the boat for this year's Graduate Training Programme (which would allow me to be paid while I train for one year as a Non-Qualified Teacher).

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

Could either of you be clinically depressed?

Me - maybe. I've had a lot of disappointments in the last couple of years. Cycling, running, training for an Ironman last year have kept me sane and given me some order to my life, but now I can't afford to race. I still train, but without a plan. Possible Lightbulb Moment there ...

Some family precedent: my aunt (mother's sister) is bipolar.

Wife - if I were honest, I don't see any of the telltale signs. She's in rude health mentally and physically.