In hell: the B.W. Fox debt journal

elantan

i'll be truthful here if my hubby gave me a fridge magnet i wouldnt be upset ...you got her something you thought she might like ...could it be hormones (she is pregnant) or is she just feeling fed up with the situation she is angry but i hope she calms down

Triker

Could you not put your thoughts down in a letter to your wife, just re read your post and you clearly love your wife so much. Sometimes reading it in black and white, rather than saying it, is more effective and powerful.

If you think you may not be able to just look at your post because you have put your feelings down there.

I wish you luck.

sammy115

Foxy, if your missus is anything like me, then she will come round. I can be awful to my OH but I don't mean it. I hate it when he buys me things cos he never really gets me what I want!

I found a couple of positive things about your post. You have reliable work for a while with a pay rise.

You left the key in the back/front door and didn't get robbed.

And don't spend all night talking to your bike, log on here and talk to us.:T

catewithers

Hmmm - not sure I know any life coaches at all, sorry. But as someone with counselling training, I do wonder what impact your low self-esteem is having on your situation.

I notice that your first post tells us that you inflicted the worst ever weekend on yourself - but reading the details, it seems that at least some of the problems were out of your control and things that you can't reasonably take responsibility for. The others largely seem to be down to poor communication and misunderstandings. Those problems can be fixed with time and effort.

As someone who's recently been in the position of having to save her marriage, I would strongly reccommend Relate before this becomes irretreivable.

Sorry your bike doesn't like you much - they can be fickle things

PM me if you want to talk some more - I haven't got all the answers but I'm more than happy to be your sounding board if it would help.

B.W._Fox

elantan wrote: »

i'll be truthful here if my hubby gave me a fridge magnet i wouldnt be upset ...you got her something you thought she might like ...could it be hormones (she is pregnant) or is she just feeling fed up with the situation she is angry but i hope she calms down

She is fed up ... for the nth time. I've been repeatedly warned.

I've started pinching every penny, made radical plans (in my mind) after reading this site and Martin's book and have started to act on them. The problem is that there is nothing tangible in her life from the improvements made to mine. She can't see that I'm fed up with my own situation worse than she is.

I'm too old to be in this situation ... nearly 36 and no prospects of a real career. Being a personal assistant is not for the elderly.

B.W._Fox

sammy115 wrote: »

And don't spend all night talking to your bike, log on here and talk to us.:T

Dial-up + her laptop + internet forum = instant death

But thanks for looking at the bright side.

lynzpower

Personally, Id be chuffed if my OH got me anythng for my birthday after the time youve been having. I got nothing for Oh last year ( and I mean nothing) he was quite gutted, but at the end of the day, its shouldnt be about what you buy each other.

your wife sounds like shes got her priorities all wrong.- you ve got a job and your wife has a go at you cos you cant get into more debt

It sounds terrible to mee, I can only suggest relate in the hope she starts to see the damage shes doing on kicking her man when hes down.

As far as I understood it, marriage is all about suporting each others in the crap times not kicking off when things arnt perfect.

Tiger_greeneyes

Someone picked up on the hormonal side of things - it sounds quite normal to me...

Your wife does sound like she's got high expectations of you, it sounds like you're doing your very best though. Everyone goes through rough times, it took my OH months to find any sort of job when we moved the last two times.

Can you go to night school once a week and learn a trade? If your wife sees there's a light at the end of the tunnel, she may feel better and her mood may lighten.

Could either of you be clinically depressed?

immoral_angeluk

Just wanted to send massive hugs as it sounds like you need them. Have you told her how you're feeling? It could just be the hormones making everything worse or the shock of finding out she's pregnant if you weren't trying for a baby.
As someone else suggested write down all the things that are in your head in bullet points and discuss the list with your wife. If she loves you she'll come round and support you. Did you have the vows 'For better or for worse' at your wedding? That should be the case here.

Storm

On a practical note - could the fact that you're not a naturalised citizen be part of why you're not getting offered the permanent jobs?

One thing she may well be especially worried about with the new contract is that if she's due on 1st December, your contract is likely to end whilst she's still on maternity leave - which is understandable in a way, yet obviously yelling doesn't help!

If you don't feel confident discussing things with her have you tried writing her a letter - explain that you often can't think of the words immediately when you're talking, so you need to write it down to get it right. If she doesn't understand the changes your making or how fed up you are, then you need to tell her - and ask her to do the same for you.

Hey - PAs can earn a good old wedge, and 36 is still a spring chicken! You've got a wife, daughter & bump who all love you, a good job for 8 months and a load of people on these boards that will support you as much as we can.