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In hell: the B.W. Fox debt journal
B.W._Fox
Posts: 151 Forumite
Boy do I feel awful. Just when I thought things were really poo, I go and inflict on myself the worst weekend of my life.
1. I was about to fill out my naturalisation application for British citizenship when I noticed that the fees had gone up, from £268 to ... £655. I could scrape by with the former but there was no way I could afford the latter on my overheads.
2. I booked £8 coach tickets for my 3-year-old daughter and I to travel to Brighton on Friday, to catch the £2.50 "rollercoaster" bus to Eastbourne, all in aid of meeting my wife who was coming from a week spent on a furniture restoring course in Kent. Realised too late that hauling everything in to Victoria Coach Station from Croydon, even with Oyster, would negate the savings. So I ate the £8 and bought a cheap train ticket instead from Trainline.
3. I got a call from my agency confirming that I just got a new 8-month contract job, meaning my net income will jump by almost 25%, and I negotiated my hours be able to cycle back to Croydon in time to pick my daughter up from the childminder without a late fee. Finally - I'm no longer in temporary work. (But read further.)
4. It was my wife's birthday Saturday. I had told her that I didn't have much for her - now more than ever - and offered to take her on a £50 shopping spree, on account of the spare wodge I had from the citizenship fee. I hadn't given myself much time to shop. I showed up with a fridge magnet. Unwrapped. Even I know this is lame but I had hoped that the proffered spending spree would make up for it. It didn't. Apparently my mother-in-law took offence.
5. Sunday, while my wife and daughter went to the zoo for the afternoon, I went into town and bought £80 worth of books and DVDs to make up for Saturday. On receiving it she was non-plussed, as she'd talked about some paintings from an artist in Hastings, which I hadn't gathered was a hint.
6. On the drive home, she asked me if the job was permanent. (I haven't had a permanent job in two years, despite applying everywhere.) I said it was maternity cover and she blew a gasket, saying that our plans to move house to find our daughter a better school were off, because my income wasn't steady enough to build a remortgage around. Also, she accused me of not learning, not changing, and not growing up.
7. We arrived home and as I put my daughter to bed, my wife found the back door open with the key in it - I had forgotten to lock it on Friday morning after taking the compost out. She could've peeled paint off walls.
Not surprisingly I slept on the couch for the first time in our seven years together. She is that close to filing for divorce.
After a very chilly morning at the breakfast table I had a rough time at work. I spoke to my boss when she noticed I was down and she advised me to keep the contract job in my pocket while continuing to look for permanent work. Which was my sentiment, although I couldn't vocalise it last night.
I don't know how I can repair the damage though. I think the elastic holding our marriage together has finally snapped. I'm not one for arguing; how I wish I had a counterargument for all the invective she threw at me. "And you stand there silent! As usual! You're so f*cking stupid!"
Just like me, today I tried to call Samaritans but ended up sending away for a pack on how to become a volunteer.
My wife is so conscientious, never misses a point, crosses every T and dots every I. I can do that for a short time, but it's never long until I backslide.
Distracted and useless and worth more dead than alive ... at least the insurance is paid up.
1. I was about to fill out my naturalisation application for British citizenship when I noticed that the fees had gone up, from £268 to ... £655. I could scrape by with the former but there was no way I could afford the latter on my overheads.
2. I booked £8 coach tickets for my 3-year-old daughter and I to travel to Brighton on Friday, to catch the £2.50 "rollercoaster" bus to Eastbourne, all in aid of meeting my wife who was coming from a week spent on a furniture restoring course in Kent. Realised too late that hauling everything in to Victoria Coach Station from Croydon, even with Oyster, would negate the savings. So I ate the £8 and bought a cheap train ticket instead from Trainline.
3. I got a call from my agency confirming that I just got a new 8-month contract job, meaning my net income will jump by almost 25%, and I negotiated my hours be able to cycle back to Croydon in time to pick my daughter up from the childminder without a late fee. Finally - I'm no longer in temporary work. (But read further.)
4. It was my wife's birthday Saturday. I had told her that I didn't have much for her - now more than ever - and offered to take her on a £50 shopping spree, on account of the spare wodge I had from the citizenship fee. I hadn't given myself much time to shop. I showed up with a fridge magnet. Unwrapped. Even I know this is lame but I had hoped that the proffered spending spree would make up for it. It didn't. Apparently my mother-in-law took offence.
5. Sunday, while my wife and daughter went to the zoo for the afternoon, I went into town and bought £80 worth of books and DVDs to make up for Saturday. On receiving it she was non-plussed, as she'd talked about some paintings from an artist in Hastings, which I hadn't gathered was a hint.
6. On the drive home, she asked me if the job was permanent. (I haven't had a permanent job in two years, despite applying everywhere.) I said it was maternity cover and she blew a gasket, saying that our plans to move house to find our daughter a better school were off, because my income wasn't steady enough to build a remortgage around. Also, she accused me of not learning, not changing, and not growing up.
7. We arrived home and as I put my daughter to bed, my wife found the back door open with the key in it - I had forgotten to lock it on Friday morning after taking the compost out. She could've peeled paint off walls.
Not surprisingly I slept on the couch for the first time in our seven years together. She is that close to filing for divorce.
After a very chilly morning at the breakfast table I had a rough time at work. I spoke to my boss when she noticed I was down and she advised me to keep the contract job in my pocket while continuing to look for permanent work. Which was my sentiment, although I couldn't vocalise it last night.
I don't know how I can repair the damage though. I think the elastic holding our marriage together has finally snapped. I'm not one for arguing; how I wish I had a counterargument for all the invective she threw at me. "And you stand there silent! As usual! You're so f*cking stupid!"
Just like me, today I tried to call Samaritans but ended up sending away for a pack on how to become a volunteer.
My wife is so conscientious, never misses a point, crosses every T and dots every I. I can do that for a short time, but it's never long until I backslide.
Distracted and useless and worth more dead than alive ... at least the insurance is paid up.
US student loan (2.48%): [STRIKE]$19,152.65[/STRIKE] $2700.19
Egg Money (£500 limit, 12.9%): paid off in full each month
Post Office Platinum (£3200 limit, 0% to Aug '10): £1544.70
Barclaycard Platinum (£2500 limit, 0% to Jan '11): £2106.25
Debt free by Oct 2012
DFW NERD #511 - PROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBT
Egg Money (£500 limit, 12.9%): paid off in full each month
Post Office Platinum (£3200 limit, 0% to Aug '10): £1544.70
Barclaycard Platinum (£2500 limit, 0% to Jan '11): £2106.25
Debt free by Oct 2012
DFW NERD #511 - PROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBT
0
Comments
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that is some !!!!!! weekend hope you get it fixed0
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Oh, I forgot ... we're now expecting on 1 December - we haven't told anyone yet. I want to see my kids grow up ... I want them to be our kids ... I can't stand being such a loser anymore when my wife is a star. Why are my mistakes so loud?US student loan (2.48%): [STRIKE]$19,152.65[/STRIKE] $2700.19
Egg Money (£500 limit, 12.9%): paid off in full each month
Post Office Platinum (£3200 limit, 0% to Aug '10): £1544.70
Barclaycard Platinum (£2500 limit, 0% to Jan '11): £2106.25
Debt free by Oct 2012
DFW NERD #511 - PROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBT0 -
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All I can say - as a woman is - A FRIDGE MAGNET!!!!!!!!!! :eek:Quality is doing something right when no one is looking - Henry Ford
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Can't give you any practical advice I'm afraid but thought I'd send you over a hug ((((B.W.)))) hope you get everything sorted soon.
Jo.xDFW Nerd no. 496 - Proud to be dealing with my debts!!0 -
Can you take the books and DVD's back, and replace them with a picture!Quality is doing something right when no one is looking - Henry Ford
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Distracted and useless and worth more dead than alive ... at least the insurance is paid up.
Don't say that!! Please don't say that........
I somehow don't think you were joking about it either having read your thread.
I can't help thinking that your OH had a bad week as well. I know I react badly to small stuff when i am stressed out. :A
Perhaps you need to spend some time together doing something fun to remember why you are together in the first place.
Talk to her about the job situation and explain that this opportunity (whilst temporary) is good money while you keep looking for permanent work and that you were thinking about all that you could do as a family with the extra income. Ask her for some help with your CV/job hunting - if she is as together as you say she is then she should be able to make constructive criticism.
It sounds a bit like that she is feeling insignificant - esp. the bit about her birthday. Take her out for a meal, spoil her and let her know how important she is to you.
Talk to her, talk to counsellors, talk to anybody.
Let us know how you get on (we do worry about people on here you know:rolleyes: )
:grouphug:
Don't do anything stupid!Sealed Pot Challenge Member Number #19060 -
Can you recommend a life coach who works cheap?catewithers wrote: »Is there anything practical we can do to help?
I wish I had friends to talk to. As it stands, I'll just go home tonight and talk to my bicycle - it doesn't like me either lately.US student loan (2.48%): [STRIKE]$19,152.65[/STRIKE] $2700.19
Egg Money (£500 limit, 12.9%): paid off in full each month
Post Office Platinum (£3200 limit, 0% to Aug '10): £1544.70
Barclaycard Platinum (£2500 limit, 0% to Jan '11): £2106.25
Debt free by Oct 2012
DFW NERD #511 - PROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBT0 -
Guido, her favourite character from Cars. It was the only item of him in the Disney store.A FRIDGE MAGNET!!!!!!!!!!US student loan (2.48%): [STRIKE]$19,152.65[/STRIKE] $2700.19
Egg Money (£500 limit, 12.9%): paid off in full each month
Post Office Platinum (£3200 limit, 0% to Aug '10): £1544.70
Barclaycard Platinum (£2500 limit, 0% to Jan '11): £2106.25
Debt free by Oct 2012
DFW NERD #511 - PROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBT0 -
No, she likes them, just not coming from me, but she'll keep them - I know her well enough.Can you take the books and DVD's back, and replace them with a picture!US student loan (2.48%): [STRIKE]$19,152.65[/STRIKE] $2700.19
Egg Money (£500 limit, 12.9%): paid off in full each month
Post Office Platinum (£3200 limit, 0% to Aug '10): £1544.70
Barclaycard Platinum (£2500 limit, 0% to Jan '11): £2106.25
Debt free by Oct 2012
DFW NERD #511 - PROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBT0
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