Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

catewithers

I think a couple of days space is a good thing. Let's the dust settle a little. And I think you're right to stay if you want to. If she wants some space then that's her responsibility to find some. Of course, it's easy for me to say that when I don't have children to think about...!

chunky79

There is definately no right and wrong what some may consider soft may not be someone elses interpretation. Personally i see it as very understanding!

The good thing is your wife obviously wants to try, if she did not she would not have agreed to go to relate in the first place. the fact that you have agreed to more is very positive.

I do feel though that you should make it clear in your time at relate that your also hurting, some may not agree but you have said your the innocent party and you are the one that has been wronged, if it does not come out what you really want to say then it may rear its ugly head in a few years time when all seems fine. As for the emotions your wife is showing i think there is a great chance your marriage could survive this.

I know a few that have had affairs and then said they do not love their husbands and walked without really showing any remorse what so ever.

I do have one question for anyone really. What is a spark? It like the baby bonding they make such a big hollywood deal of life that everyone wants more and thinks it should be more. I love my partner dearly but love grew over time it wasn't like a lightening bolt through us!

I do have one bit of advice Do not be a doormat! Sorry, i know you have said your wife is a good lady. Please remember she broke the family unit yet you are the one doing the consoling and getting angry when she is not around! Which i think you have an more self control than anyone i know.

Just thought could it be that your not getting angry, maybe she misses a bit of fire in the relationship. My friend was about to end her marriage a few weeks ago he went mental and it brought back the man she fell in love with. Quite sweet really.

southwester_2

I am starting to feel more angry but I know that will only upset her more, again me being soft. I dont think I am being treated like a doormat although I can see that point of view. I have told her that this has devastated me and hurt me beyond belief, which she finds extremely hard to take and breaks down every time I tell her, she says she cannot stand seeing me so upset and hurt because of what she has done

Dithering_Dad

chunky79 wrote: »

I do have one question for anyone really. What is a spark? It like the baby bonding they make such a big hollywood deal of life that everyone wants more and thinks it should be more. I love my partner dearly but love grew over time it wasn't like a lightening bolt through us!

My spark really was a lightning bolt, I loved Mrs D practically from the first time we met. She was introduced to me by a female friend of mine and she was just so perfect. Attractive, funny, intelligent, kind and I remember saying to myself "Wow, this one will be mine. Oh yes, she will be" (I was really into Wayne's World at the time ). Strangely enough Mrs D was the first to announce the "L" word, I was keeping a lid on my feelings so as not to scare her off!

southwester_2

Thats obviously what Ive got and she hasnt at the moment

chunky79

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

My spark really was a lightning bolt, I loved Mrs D practically from the first time we met. She was introduced to me by a female friend of mine and she was just so perfect. Attractive, funny, intelligent, kind and I remember saying to myself "Wow, this one will be mine. Oh yes, she will be" (I was really into Wayne's World at the time ). Strangely enough Mrs D was the first to announce the "L" word, I was keeping a lid on my feelings so as not to scare her off!

Awwww bless maybe i am just not romantic. He says i am easy to please because of this.

Don't get me wrong i knew OH was gonna be mine from the start but i think everything in this day and age as been so glammed up beyond perfect. Iyswim.

chunky79

SW my heart really goes out to you, it truly does. The situation your in is horrible and soul destroying.
I hope that your wife finds the spark she wants, it would be nice to see a happy ending to all fo this x (maybe i am getting romantic now) bleurgh.

southwester_2

A happy ending is all I hope for, I really do, sorry that last post moved me

chunky79

It moves me everytime i read this thread. My ex husband did this to me many times the one huge difference was he would go with his blond bit then come back and would give me a good old beating!

southwester_2

Sorry to hear that chunky, you wouldnt believe the amount of times Ive sat here and cried reading it over and over.

Following our relate meeting, I decided to ask my OH today for a 'date', (sounds corny dont it) which she said was worth a try , anything is worth a try to get it back.