Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

southwester_2

Just spoke to OH on the phone before she goes away tonight, she is emotionally drained, i told her I loved her and she responded, so who knows any more

Also sold some stuff through the paper tonight, an extra £30 towards debt - although I cant really think about this at the mo

suki43

Hi SW!

Tackling your relationship first will allow the money issues to fall into place later.

It is emotionally draining and I am glad to hear that you have spoken before she goes away. It's good to miss someone.

Suki

southwester_2

She has just text me back saying she is worried her feelings wont change

moonlightpjs

southwester wrote: »

Its bloody hard, cant stop breaking down, getting angry , images in my mind, wandering what OH is thinking, doing , then when I see her I just wnat to hold her -

Its only natural you feel like this, its still early days and its still raw.


I'm sorry I don't have the words to comfort you but I am thinking about you xxxx

southwester_2

Thanks for listing and being my agony aunts!!

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Southwest you are a star - I know just how you're feeling as my dh had an affair with a colleague when I was pregnant with out dd. She is now five and we're still here and together - I love him and he loves me but at the time he loved someone else too it was soo difficult and I know your emotions are up and down. The best advice I can give is take care of yourself, make sure you eat (something I found very difficult to do at the time - seemed to survive on bananas) and take each moment (not each day) as it comes. The roller coaster will steady out eventually and I promise in time the sun will shine for you again - hope thats not patronising I don't mean it to be its just really important that you value YOU!! Take care.
IDA
xx

southwester_2

Havent eaten for three days and had 3 hours sleep in 3 days, OH has eaten but hardly slept, I was sent home from work yesterday, they are being great though, they dont know the ins and outs but know it is a marriage problem

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

I know its tough but its really important to eat something, getting ill will just make everything ten times worse - you can't expect to deal with anything if you're starving yourself - hunger (even when not recognised!) does terrible things to a persons brain you know!! So consider yourself severely reprimanded!!! I was always okay with the sleep thing in times of stress my body seems to shut down and I become comotose literally (honest) - not always a good thing!
Please please take care of yourself, eat a little even just a banana or chocolate anything!
IDA
xx

HardleyLisa

Southwester - I have just picked up on this thread and just to say i am sending lots of big hugs your way.

I (like many others on here) had this happen to me when my first child was 7 months old. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal and to be expected. I can honestly say they were some of the darkest days of my life but I managed to get through it and with time you will too.

I know it's difficult but you must eat because everything is much harder to deal with when your starving hungry. When I was going through this my nan used to say "you've got to eat to keep your strength up". At the time I found it really annoying but now I know she was right.

Take care. xx

LookingAhead

Just wanted to say that every one and every relationship is different so SW, please please please don't compare yourself or your relationship to anyone else. That's not healthy at all.

And also, you are not being 'soft' for not getting angry at your wife, you are being measured. Anger is a natural feeling of course it is, but blowing your stack at this sensitive and raw time will only make matters worse.

You need to vent your anger somewhere of course, do you go to the gym or run or play football or anything like that? Punch the pillows!! Anything.

You've said you really don't want to leave...so that's your decision made then. So you can draw a line under that now and not give it any more head space...too many other things to sort out.

Your wife being away now is the space she probably needed....I hope things can progress a little when she gets back.

Lots of love & support
LA x