Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

catewithers

I think a date's a good idea.

catewithers

SW I've pm'd you again. Hopefully this one won't be blank!

southwester_2

Catewithers - I got the one this morning but have replied to you since

catewithers

Yep - got that! I've resent the original one!!

southwester_2

I think we are crossing over, Ill send you one now

Dithering_Dad

southwester wrote: »

Following our relate meeting, I decided to ask my OH today for a 'date', (sounds corny dont it) which she said was worth a try , anything is worth a try to get it back.

You know sw, that's not corny at all it's such a great idea. It's so easy, especially with kids and a hectic life to forget that once in a while we need to put time aside just for lurve.

Before I started working away all the time, Me and Mrs D used to both take a day off work about once a month, get the train into Manchester and spend the whole day together having a relaxing lunch, few beers, do a bit of clothes shopping, few beers, go to the cinema, few beers, dinner, few beers, catch the last train home to relieve my Mum from babysitting duties, few beers, then have a drunken fumble and wake up the next morning feeling sick. Marvelous!

An MSE version of this would be a nice walk in the country with a rug and a picnic basket and maybe one of those disposable BBQs. Summer is coming, so it'd be just the thing. Hmnn, it's been ages since we've done this and I'm back home this weekend too. Right I'm off to phone my mum for babysitting...

dianadors

I think a date is a great idea. We did this a lot when trying to get back on track and it did help. Keep it really simple and do go for the grand gestures style of date. We just did things that we had previously enjoyed together, and we also went places and did things that we had never done before to help get out of the rut that we both felt we were in. I remember telling my hubby on one of our dates just how much I enjoyed his company and why. He was really suprised by this and I was suprised he didnt know - we had always "assumed" so much in the past. Its never right to embark on a new relationship whilst you are still in a relationship, but unless the "guilty" party is a serial philanderer, then "blame" is never one sided. My hubby felt no spark left with us, and plenty of spark between himself and the "tart", but he chose to give us a go and we have both worked really hard to get the spark back. I can see looking back that because of poor communication, lack of time, and life generally getting in the way, why he felt unloved and uncared for and why when it was offered on a plate, he took it. It is now his biggest regret in life.
Fingers crossed for you.

Storm

SW - a date sounds like a brilliant idea, somewhere neutral where you can just talk and hopefully have a good time.

When you're talking about what's happened however, then I honestly think you can't worry about upsetting her by showing how upset you are - you're perfectly entitled to your feelings, and unless you can express them to her then it's going to make it much harder to get over this together.

Perhaps you could consider printing off this thread for her to read?

southwester_2

Hi Storm - I have expressed my feelings over this, she is finding it hard to look at me because she says she can see the hurt in my eyes, she is so sorry for doing it and ripping my heart out;

catewithers

I agree - it's important that you're entirely honest about how you feel, even if that will upset her. She needs to hear it all.