Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

southwester_2

DD - Thanks for the ideas, working on it, we dont have comedy clubs down here, straw hats and all that, but theres loads that we can together, she likes the cinema so will do that. The only one we have is Jethro and we saw him a month ago

Im taking her out on Friday, she doesnt know, just for a relaxed drink, just the two of us; Given up 20/20 cricket, things have hit home whats more important;

She likes bowling , we always have a laugh doing that, we're both crap, which is why we laugh about it;

dianadors

Brilliant ! You live in such a lovely part of the world - make the most of it and each other. Cut her a bit of slack - you both sound like lovely people and she will be feeling like sh*t for what she has done. You cant change the past (if only we could) but you can change your future. Give it some welly!!

southwester_2

Paid off the HSBC loan thanks to wifes bonus- £1590 less

Lucy1982_2

Well Done

x

dianadors

Great stuff!!

dianadors

Ive just had my eyes opened by reading all the other threads that you started!!! Boy o boy have you two had a year of it - and you are by no means the "innocent" party in your recent debarcle. On one of your entries you put that you had lied to and deceived her for over 2 years. So I can see why she felt let down by you and whilst its never right to start a relationship whilst in another, I can see why she possibly needed a shoulder to cry on - especially as you chose to keep your problems to yourselves and not tell your families. It would seem that you started a very big ball rolling but you took huge steps in trying to sort it out. I feel that you are both on a very level playing field now - youve both done stupid things that you bitterly regret and wish you had never done. So can I quote to you something that you posted on 2/5/07:

"
Things seem better today, I have told her that we need to look to the future not at the past, I cant change that, but I can the future"

You dont need advice from anyone here Southwester - you give the best advice yourself!!! Now stop licking your wounds and get on with your lovely life. xxxxxxxxxx

southwester_2

True DD

2007 will never be forgotten, it was my 40th as well.

RAS

southwester wrote: »

ZTD - They can last for 5 -10mins, although whenI had the nightmare, it went on for about 2 hours

SW not been on here recently, have not had time to read back through the whole of the thread since I left off but this really struck home.

I trained in something called NLP some years ago, basically cos I was playing with it and accidently made a major and very positive change. I decided I had better know what I was doing if I was to use it again.

So some thoughts. I hope I am not treading like some lump through your life, but if you want me to bogof or to delete the post, just pm me.

It seems that you are getting flashbacks, akin to the flashbacks people get in PTSD?

This is very easy for someone with the right skills to work with; the whole thing is content free and takes one or two sessions to achieve major improvements. It would put those images back where they belong and where they do not get in the way of rebuilding your relationship.

NLP is one of those things that attracts some compete sales @rseholes, some people who really need help and some folk who are very good therapists, although that does not mean that they are necessarily lovely people. I do not practice, so this is not a tout.

The UK professional association is http://www.anlp.org/ and you are probably interested in EMDR or the rewind techniques. Both work really well. As I said before, neither require you to divulge anything about the situation to the NLP person except that you get images and they are not helpful.

My other NLP thought is that even the title of your thread anchors you back in that day. To move on you might want to think about "recovering from..., rebuilding our relationship.." whatever resonates with you, makes sense or helps you see a better future. And yes, that is pure if rather rough NLP.

southwester_2

Things seem better at the moment, getting on well, given her some space as well

dianadors

Great to hear. Make sure you keep telling her that you love her. It really is a 2 way thing at this stage. Any way - hows the "fun" going - what do you have planned?