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Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

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Comments

  • southwester_2
    southwester_2 Posts: 639 Forumite
    Well, Saturday was great but ended Sunday by having argument about it all, images come flooding back all the time and she asks me whats wrong and I end up telling her, which justn starts it all over again.

    Cant see this working
    22/07/07 Debt - Tesco 17644 (6.1%) - Now 10500
    hsbc - 2000 - now 0 (12.9%) :T
    Halifax - 3500 now o(0%) :T
    Barclays - 1500 - now 0 (5.5%) :T
    ==================================
    Cleared 6th July 2010
  • dreams_R_free
    dreams_R_free Posts: 536 Forumite
    Glad you had a great Saturday, SW.

    From what you said, I gather Sunday was OK too until later:confused:. If so, that sounds like a very successful weekend to me. Believe me, a lot of couples have a blazing row or something at some point during a whole weekend;) .

    You almost got through 2 whole days successfully and for the very early stages in healing your relationship that's no mean feat. As so many of the wise posters on here have said, it's going to take time, with some backward steps along the way. Just take it one day at a time IMHO. You seem to be doing fine. Don't get discouraged so soon.

    Take Care.
    Big hugs from Imp
  • catewithers
    catewithers Posts: 502 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Imp's right SW. It will be like this - one step forwards, 2 back, 3 forwards, one back.....

    You guys are doing good. Hang in there.
  • Hi

    Sorry if peops are getting a bit tired of my ramblings but its helping

    A little confused today, I had a bad day yesterday with images etc etc which i know I will, she asked me so I told her,, she consoled me and said it would be all right. We had previously booked a holiday in France which we have continued to organise, trying to carry on as normal, even talked about next years hol, I cant look that far ahead. Mixed messages coming out!!

    She is trying to be more loving, thats for sure.
    22/07/07 Debt - Tesco 17644 (6.1%) - Now 10500
    hsbc - 2000 - now 0 (12.9%) :T
    Halifax - 3500 now o(0%) :T
    Barclays - 1500 - now 0 (5.5%) :T
    ==================================
    Cleared 6th July 2010
  • Shineyhappy
    Shineyhappy Posts: 1,931 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Your ramblings arent getting tired so dont fret!

    We all want things to work out for you and thats why you have had so many messages!

    Dont worry about next year at the moment, just focus on the holiday this year. It sounds positive, but these things take time and lets face it if you just got on it with it easily and didnt have to work hard at fixing problems then imho it isnt being fixed properly and a pretend make up is in no ones best interests. Anything that is worth having is worth a lot of time and effort.

    Keep trying and fighting for what you want in life.
    Debt Free - done
    Mortgage Free - done
    Building up the pension pot
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Just to back up shineyhappy's theory, I'll tell you what happened to me last night.....bear with me, there IS a point to the story lol.

    Natasha woke up at 4am wanting a feed, unusual for her, as she normally sleeps until about 5.30am, so I felt very tired.

    Normally she will feed for 10 to 15 minutes, then I change her nappy, then offer her some more milk. She feeds for another 10 minutes or so, and then I put her back to bed and she falls asleep on her own, without any fuss, so it takes about half an hour in total.

    Last night though, she only fed for 5 minutes and then fell back asleep. Because I was tired, I thought, I know, I'll just pop her back to bed now, no nappy change (it wasn't dirty) and no second bit of milk. So I did.

    Half an hour later, as I was just dozing off, she was awake again, nappy full, still hungry, and very cross, so I had to get her up, feed her again, change her, and then feed her a bit more, as by this point she was grumpy, fretful and couldn't get herself back off to sleep. By this point it was well after 5am.

    So because I tried to rush things and take a shortcut (because it was less effort), it ended up taking more than twice as long, and finished with both me and Natasha feeling knackered and grouchy.

    So the moral of the story is, the quickest way to make things better isn't always the quickest way to make things better......or something.......

    Oh ignore me, I'm tired, lol. But I do think things sound quite positive for you, and I'm glad there are starting to be some better times in amongst the difficult times.
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • Hi really sorry to here about your predicament. I can reccommend a really good website for support Ivillage.co.uk they have a message support board called coping with infidelity, which you will find many supportive people who are dealing with this problem too.
    Its just like here very supportive to all.

    Regards
    Wannabettalife
    :confused:
  • Thanks you two, I understand what your trying to say Snaggles

    Ill have a look at the website
    22/07/07 Debt - Tesco 17644 (6.1%) - Now 10500
    hsbc - 2000 - now 0 (12.9%) :T
    Halifax - 3500 now o(0%) :T
    Barclays - 1500 - now 0 (5.5%) :T
    ==================================
    Cleared 6th July 2010
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Thanks you two, I understand what your trying to say Snaggles

    Oh thank god! I read it back myself and thought 'what was I on about again?' :confused: :rolleyes: :o
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • dianadors
    dianadors Posts: 801 Forumite
    500 Posts
    Hi again. Me and hubby have just passed the 4 year mark since our "episode". So congratulations to us!! I know how you feel so dont worry about your rollercoaster ride of feelings. I used to get really het up about the images and try to keep it to myself - but it was on my mind all the time when I did this, and in the end I felt better after I had blurted them out. My hubby was very patient with me (the least he could do in the circumstances!!) but I did feel as if I was ripping open a wound every time it happened. Eventually I explained to him that I felt better after I blurted things out and I understood how he felt, but I needed him to continue being patient with me. He understood and was good about it - so make sure you explain this to her because she might look on it as you just "having a go". Look forward to planning your holiday together - its things like this that will get you back on track. Make sure she knows that you are glad she is still around and start to enjoy each other again.
    The images get less and less. I know everyone is different, but I feel you cant deal with what you dont know. Focusing on the future (ie your holiday) prevents you from dwelling on the past. What happened happened, and no body can change it. You have both been brilliant in wanting to save your relationship when others might have thrown it away - Congratulate yourselves and celebrate every day,week, month, year that you survive. All the best. xx
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