Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

999mph

I am so sorry about what has happened. I am sure it is very hard. My Brother died a few months ago and my Wife separated from me about a year ago. The pain cuts me deep everyday.

Infidelity is a common problem in marriages. Please go to the website https://www.divorcebusting.com

and also https://www.lightmyfire.com

It's important you have a support community and this is just what Divorcebusting.com provide to begin with. There are some good books that WILL help you. Sometimes these things happen for reasons that we don't see to begin with since women either share their feelings when they are comfortable or don't when they are not. If they are not open with you something is wrong and it's about to get alot worse. It's not too late. And for your son's sake it's worth a try.

Recommended reading (from https://www.amazon.co.uk):
* Divorce Remedy - Michelle Weiner Davis
* How to Get Your Lover Back - Blase Harris

Please PM me for anything.
Quick tip: Try to ignore, completely blank out what happened and do some great things to make you and your Son happy (especially yourself). Often we spend too much time pleasing others and often our Wives that we lose track of ourselves. From the website https://www.lightyourfire.com, send an email to Dr. Ellen and explain your situation fully, accurately but concisely for a good, healthy reply on what to do. Be careful in what you do and say right now. Don't chase her or phone her without the right advise. I lost half the plot by doing so. I will say this. YOU CAN TURN THINGS AROUND. And things will be stronger between you. She will leave this other man and even find out the REAL reason why she left (such as emotional unavailability etc) but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful in what you do next.

My heart and my blessings are with you..

chunky79

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. She had an affair and it sounded very much like your situation this was 10 year ago though. Her husband says you can forgive in time but you won't forget, in time this becomes easier to accept but every now and again the green eyed monster appears. He said the harder he tried to forgive and forget the worse it was. Thefirst 6 months were apparently the worst after that it became easier to live life more normal.

As for the jealousy that the most normal emotion you can have, who would not feel this if their spouse had, had an affair. This again is something that will get better with time. The one thing unfortunately is that it may not go altogether and that your trust will not come back either.

Hoping things are looking up for you both x

southwester_2

Bit of a test last night, wife was away working until late. Didnt feel too good being alone and had some horrible thoughts CAME FLOODING BACK. I hope I never see this guy as I dont know what I would do!!

Well I do actually

She is trying, small things, which I appreciate, long long way to go though.

saffronflowers

SW - you coped, you noticed things that were troubling you, the progress you have both made is fantastic. Remember that everest was not conquered by people who thought about the enormity of the feat but by people who took it one step at a time.

SFx

dreams_R_free

Sorry to hear that,SW, as you have been doing so well so far. Only a temporary blip though and there is bound to be the occasional backward step for every few forward ones. That's life I'm afraid. Good Luck to you both.:beer:. Have you got a nice Bank Holiday planned for the three of you?

Just out of interest, do you know the guy personally or have you ever seen him? Sorry if that's nosey but I was wondering whether it's a tad easier if you can/can't put a face to images of this guy.

southwester_2

No I know he worked with her once but they dont work together anymore.

Have seen picture but a long time ago and cant picture his face, can picture his face after bumping in to him!!

Bank Holiday, I am running a half marathon which I have been training for for 5 months, the last two weeks has severley screwed training up. Then Monday wife and I are watching son play cricket all day.

Storm

Hi SW,

It's great you've got the half marathon to focus on this weekend - just don't use your training time to brood if possible. You spoke about trying to curb a jealous streak - and to be honest at the moment I think you've got to let it come out as jealousy is just one of the many emotions you're going to have to face at the moment. Mrs SW needs to accept that for quite a while you are going to be jealous, and work with you to give you no reason to feel jealous (if that makes any sense at all!)

I hope you have a good weekend, get a great time in your half marathon and your son knocks the ball all over the place!

southwester_2

Thanks Storm

We discussed this lasy night, that to help my jealous streak she needs to make me feel that she wants me and basically need a lot of attention, so to speak, dont know how else to put it

southwester_2

Just heard that the guy who owned the franchise for the garage I worked in for my second job has done a runner, owing me £182 quid, last months wages.

Oh joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

saffronflowers

SW - just put that down to one of those things, you have decided to give you marriage a go and that is the most important. Remember he will have bad karma!!!! (maybe a pitbull will bite his bottom!)

SFx