Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

southwester_2

Ran on Friday and it was crap, but with no sleep I couldnt expect anymore.

Am going to try and do 5 miles tonight but again am feeling crap so dont know, as far as that is concerned it has all come at the wrong time, not that there is a right time

pania

let me know how you get on tonight SW, have some pasta for lunch to get your energy up, you'll be amazed how the miles go past. BIG HUG

catewithers

pania wrote: »

I'm not to sure you should let her feel you've not told anyone about this. that kinda give her the cards to hold, knowing that no matter what she does or how she treats you, she won't be offside with anyone for this. She needs to take responsibility for what shes done, maybe you allowing her to feel that people may not quite be so accepting of her may give her the boot she needs to confront her feelings on this.

I'm not sure that telling other people in the hope that it will force a change in her behaviour is helpful. it strikes me as being a little manipulative. SW's wife needs to work through this and come to the answers that are right for both her and SW, not doing/saying something because she feels under pressure from others. In a situation like this they both need time to work through the huge pile of feelings that they have. Other people getting involved isn't necessarily going to help.

Having said that, I don't necessarily think it should be kept a secret if there are people who can offer support to either one of them. But I think the motivation for sharing needs to be right.

No offence intended.

pania

no sorry cate, didn't mean for sw to tell people, just meant that her knowing that absolutely no one was aware may let her think there are minimal repercussions for what she did. unfortunately the written word can be misinterpreted.

p
xx

catewithers

pania wrote: »

unfortunately the written word can be misinterpreted.

Absolutely!!

southwester_2

I wouldnt tell people anyway, sad i know but I am for some reason, which I cant quite work out trying to protect her

moonlightpjs

southwester wrote: »

I wouldnt tell people anyway, sad i know but I am for some reason, which I cant quite work out trying to protect her

Because you love her..........

southwester_2

true................

ducatibabe_2

Hi Sw,

Good to hear your still bumping along:)

Please DO NOT THINK YOU NEED TO WIN HER BACK!!!!!

whatever problems yyou are experiencing , you are part of a partnership, and that means things go both ways and each person is responsible for their little bit of the partnership.

By all means address things you think YOU need to address, but dont feel as though you need to sort your wifes mind out too so that she can go back to how she used to feel.....only she can do that

AS for the fact none of your friends know whats going on, maybe if they did it might make your wife look more closely at the situation and take responsibilty for HER actions.....at the minute it seems her life is still pretty much same old same old, and it may be that shes using the "normality " portrayed to others as a screen to stop her really looking at herself and her actions............possibly cos she knows she will not like she sees.

Sorry to sound pompous

*climbing down off high horse *

Hugs as always

Dx

southwester_2

This was mentioned in a pervious post by pania, which I at the moment still feel like I want to protect her, it is all goes to pot then people will have to know the reasons, hers, which is horrendous and mine re the debt problems. Until we know if we are going to make a go of it, it will only cause more upset to other people that we dont want to hurt.