Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

pania

morning sw, just checking in and glad you are doing ok. thoughts go out to you tonight, just read through the post and i'm so glad your dealing with this so positively now!! good for you. Try to relax today (easier said than done i know) and glad you've had something to eat!!
big hugs.
p
x

southwester_2

I think I was in complete shock Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and possibly yesterday, but feel, obviously very upset and know there will be more upset to come, but realise that the situation has to be dealt with. My thoughts about her are still the same, I dont know why, I feel like that but I do, I should be packing her bags ready for her tonight really , but that is not what I want, she means to much to me.

catewithers

I'm not sure it's helpful to focus too much on what you "should" be doing. I think the only thing you "should" be doing is what feels right to you and for you. It's your marriage and your life - no one else's. If you don't want to pack her bags then don't! Someone else might behave differently, but you're not them - you're you.

Hope that makes sense!!

Frugal_Fox

southwester wrote: »

I think I was in complete shock Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and possibly yesterday, but feel, obviously very upset and know there will be more upset to come, but realise that the situation has to be dealt with. My thoughts about her are still the same, I dont know why, I feel like that but I do, I should be packing her bags ready for her tonight really , but that is not what I want, she means to much to me.

SW - I think this is a wonderful statement. Yes she has hurt you - but it is your marriage and your wife - no one else can tell you what to do. They can be there to support you and your decision - but thats it. At the end of the day this is your life. Marriage is a commitment through lifes ups and downs. I read earlier that your wife feels terrible over what she had done. That seems a positive to me - she cares enough about you to feel sorrow at the pain she had caused.

Don't worry about what you feel you should be doing. Just do what you feel is right for you, in your situation.
FF

chunky79

Hi Sw i thought i would see if there is an update. I see your wife contacted you which i think is very good. She is obviously missing you and trying to make an effort although she said she wanted space. If you wife isn't a very open person then it will be hard for her to make even the smallest step but at least she is trying xx

Good luck for tonight and good idea try and talk of somethign else it wil be very hard but i think worth it. You can only ponder on something so long and the more you ponder on it the longer it will take to heal x

Keep you chin up xx

onedayiwill

I'm not sure it's helpful to focus too much on what you "should" be doing. I think the only thing you "should" be doing is what feels right to you and for you. It's your marriage and your life - no one else's. If you don't want to pack her bags then don't! Someone else might behave differently, but you're not them - you're you.

Just to say, I second this! Every person is different, every relationship is unique. There are no "shoulds" in this situation. Do what feels right.

southwester_2

I want to thank you guys for listening and helping me through this week, the worst week of my life. I still feel sick to the stomach as does she, I still feel angry, I still feel upset, she feels ashamed, I want it to work, so does she, theres just that nagging problem, all but a big one. I am going to carry on this weekend as we normally would, except more time together. She is working away on Sunday but only 1 hour away so my boy and I will go down and have lunch with her. I want to hold her all the time, despite everything, that aint normal is it?

Thanks again

Snaggles

I want to hold her all the time, despite everything, that aint normal is it?

It makes perfect sense, when you're frightened of losing something, you just want to hold onto it. You are being amazing through all of this, I really hope you can work things out.

onedayiwill

that aint normal is it?

What's normal? Seriously. I haven't got a clue... normal for one person is different to normal for another. I hate the word normal....

And as it happens, I completely understand that you just want to hold her. You have been hurt,shocked and angered - for sure - but you haven't stop loving her. You can see that she is also in pain over what she has done and you want to help her because you love her. And also, perhaps, there is a bit of not wanting to let her go because you are scared of losing her. Nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, it all seems pretty "normal" to me.

Here's another hug for you :grouphug: (There's you, me ... who's the third person )

Shineyhappy

I think Snaggles is 100% right. Whenever I have had a bad arguement with someone I love then i want to cling to them afterwards to reassure myself they are going to go anywhere.