What do I do?

marisco_2

My neighbour knocked on the door and handed me a parcel thatthe postman tried to deliver earlier today. I was out so they took it in for me. It was addressed to my eldest son in his dadshand writing. My ex has had no contactwith myself or our children for over 4 years. He chose to walk away without any warning to the children at all,something that devastated them. We haddivorced 2 years earlier.

I opened it. I knowit wasn’t addressed to me and I wrestled with my conscience about doingso. My ex was a violent, aggressive andspiteful man and I couldn’t risk my son being hurt by him again. He isjust 10 years old.
Inside was a blue teddy bear with a 4 page letter where my extells my son all that went on between him and I. All the things he did to me and giving hisreasons for why those things happened. All of them my fault, all of them done because I drove him to it. The last line of the letter is an absolutekiller to me ‘Son, there are aspects ofmummys’ personality that encourage people to be cruel and nasty to her ’. I am shaking and feel physically sick.

All of the horror of years of abuse in black and white. Things I have blocked from my mind, or atleast tried to. Why did I keep reading on? Why did I not bin it after the first few lines? I just cannot believe what is in front of myeyes. I feel like my mind is spinning,this has sent me reeling. I have no ideawhat this means, what he plans to do next.
What worries me is the parcel was posted in theUK. The last I heard he had left the UKfor good, now it appears he is back. Wewere married when we had the children, his name is on the birth certificates,he has parental responsibility. What ajoke that is, he would not know how to be a responsible parent. I am terrified he could turn up at the boys’school. They could not prevent him fromtaking them, no for long at least.

What do I do. My parents are on holiday. I can’tget hold of my sister, no answer when I phoned her.

Tropez

Personally, I'd burn it. Whether that is actually the "right" response or not is highly debatable but screw it; nobody should be telling their own child that their mother deserves people being cruel.

DannyBo

Or... Pack it away somewhere until he's older and can form his own opinions.

Mojisola

I was going to suggest taking it to a solicitor as evidence in case he starts to get in direct contact with the children - who writes such a vile letter to a 10 year old? - but it would be very satisfying to burn it.

tango

DannyBo wrote: »

Or... Pack it away somewhere until he's older and can form his own opinions.

Just about to post this. Your ex has put pen to paper and written these awful things . He was quite happy for a 10 year old he has not seen for ages to read it . One day your son will be old enough to make up his mind about his father and he should

Gingernutty

Mojisola wrote: »

I was going to suggest taking it to a solicitor as evidence in case he starts to get in direct contact with the children - who writes such a vile letter to a 10 year old? - [STRIKE]but it would be very satisfying to burn it[/STRIKE].

^^^^^^^^^^^

This. Forget getting rid of the evidence, if you're that scared of him making contact, this. For your kids' sake.

In a funny way this letter is a good thing, it admits (albeit in a somewhat twisted fashion) what you are alleging is true and is ammunition in any court - should it get that far.

This must have been a frightening shock for you, OP, try to stay strong.

Cooper18

Keep it, it's evidence, and perhaps one day it might be useful. But for now file it away, burn the bear, open a bottle of wine and try to put today out of your head.

koalamummy

OP do you have a friend who could come round or stay over? You sound like this has floored you a bit and that you could be doing with some support at the moment.

Mojisola

I would also get in touch with Women's Aid - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

You need emotional support and they will give advice and help if he does start to cause trouble.

Oh - and ask the neighbour not to mention the parcel to your son.

marisco_2

My best friend is coming over. I dread to think what it woudl have done to my little boy to read this. Just very greatful he didn't.

sassyblue

marisco wrote: »

Son, there are aspects ofmummys’ personality that encourage people to be cruel and nasty to her ’.

Wow. I think you did the right thing marisco, no 10 year old needs to read that

Tuck it away nicely but photocopy it before you take it to a solicitors just in case it ever gets lost.

Xxx