What do I do?

aridjis

Who on earth would write a letter like that to a ten year old. Imagine if he had opened it and read it, what effect would it have had on him.

Often when people write or say vile things they are looking for a reaction. It is tempting to just shred the correspondence and ignore them, but in this case I think it is worth keeping it, just in case it's needed in future as evidence.

marisco_2

Thank you all so much for all the invaluable advice and support you have given me. It is very much appreciated.

I have taken your advice and contacted my solicitor. I have an appointment with him on Tuesday next week. Going by the content of the letter, my ex husband is clearly extremely unstable and my childrens welfare is my top priority. Taking legal action to protect them is my only option now.

When I saw the teddy bear for my eldest it made me feel incredibly sad. The last time his dad saw him our son was not quite 6, his younger brother was 3, and at that time they were both into teddy bears, as most little kids are. Now my eldest is a bright, happy, intelligient lad who is into sport, bikes, skateboards, books, drama and art. You name it he does it. He loves his ds, has music blasting from his radio. Teddy bears dont really come into it any more unsurprisingly. So it was a very painful reminder of just how much my foolish ex husband has missed out on from his sons life. What sort of man does not get that you never get that amazing time back with your kids, if you walk out on their childhood?

I am certain my ex has not been in contact with our son. He doesn't have a mobile (just too young in my opinion) he is only allowed on my laptop when I am around and I have so much security on it. My step brother set it all up for me.

I am going to have a chat with my son tonight and very sensitively talk a few things through with him. I am going to have to handle it very carefully as he went through years of counselling. I also phoned Womens Aid and they gave me lots of very useful advice.

Thank you again for making a big difference to someone when they needed it most .

daska

Really glad to hear that your solicitor it taking it seriously. I hope you've also managed to get a plan sorted with the school just in case. Womens Aid was a very sensible call.

Let us know what happens but let's hope nothing does!

marisco_2

One of the benefits with the boys school is that it is like Fort Knox. The main gates are keypaded and have entry phone. There are huge metal fences all around the grounds. No-one can get past recepetion without having keypad codes. There is CCTV everywhere and several entrances.

My ex never bothered to come and view the school when we were at the stage of applying for school places with our eldest. He does not know the layout of it which gives me peace of mind. I am a ten minute drive away where I work, five if it comes to getting there for my kids I do have a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow afternoon though to talk all this through and see what other strategies we can come up with to safeguard the boys.

I am hoping it will never come to putting my trust in the school to the test. Which is why I am so glad to be seeing my solicitor on Tuesday so I can put steps in place to be able to live in peace and without any fear.

lostinrates

Marisco, no advice, just best wishes. You sound like a fantastic mother.

meritaten

Very sensible Marisco! as to who he intended the letter to be read by - well, he was in win/win situation wasn't he? if your son had got it first and read it - he inserts some poison, you intercept it - and he knows you well enough to know it would upset you. But, he hasn't thought it through - you aren't just upset - you are on your guard now! You know him best - what would he be plotting to do next? some chance meeting perhaps when son is on his own? more letters? pre-empt him hun. legally if possible!

[Deleted User]

Hi, i didnt want to read and run. Glad you are seeing a solicitor about this. I agree with a few posters, it was meant to upset you. Your ex would probably think that you would be torn not giving the teddy to your child. What 10yr old wants a teddy anyway? Your ex knows how to get to you. Dont retalitate, pass all details on to your solicitor or get half hours free advice (some solicitors do this). In the end, by writing a letter like that your ex has lost anyway and he knows it. I truely hope you get things sorted. Take care

aridjis

The ex seems to have 'issues'. It's just so-o inappropriate what he did. I hope it is a one-off and OP can get some advice from her solicitor.

zoesmummy_2006

Nothing else to say as its already been said, but sending you hugs xxx

Spendless

What about telling the boys they are not to go off with their Dad should he turn up to pick them up from school?