What do I do?

meritaten

I would contact your solicitor Marisco - what you have said worries me. He is trying to establish contact with your son and his letter is trying to alienate your son from you. This is serious and I can totally understand why your brain is reeling.
you were right to intercept it - and I would be very vigilant from now on.

Person_one

How awful, I'm glad your friend is on her way.

I agree that you should keep it as evidence, but would suggest a locked box somewhere very safe. You don't want the children finding it when they're looking for Christmas presents or something like that.

The advice to contact the Women's Aid helpline is good too, there's the Samaritans too if you just want to let it all out.

DannyBo

marisco wrote: »

My best friend is coming over. I dread to think what it woudl have done to my little boy to read this. Just very greatful he didn't.

Good idea!

I'm trying to find the right thing to say without seeming flippant. I guess I think to be objective is the key in this situation - by that I mean that maybe ex is trying to build bridges etc.. Albeit in a peculiar way. :beer:

marisco_2

I have a safe under the stairs where I have put the letter and the bear for now. Been sick twice, though not woken the chidren. My sons would be worried to see me liek this. Got to pull myself togetehr in case they wake up.

msb5262

marisco - poor you.

What a horrible thing for you to see; it must have been a dreadful feeling, but you have been really brave and protected your son.

I echo posters above who say
a. keep it, possibly lodged with a solicitor for safe keeping
and b. look after yourself tonight.

Well done, you must be very brave and strong to have survived a relationship with such a destructive person. Remember that your revenge is to live well and be happy.

Love and best wishes to you and your family

MsB

Mojisola

DannyBo wrote: »

by that I mean that maybe ex is trying to build bridges etc..

It sounds more like he's trying to alienate a child from his mother and blame her for the relationship break-up.

A lot of violent men try to keep control over their exs through the children.

DannyBo

Mojisola wrote: »

It sounds more like he's trying to alienate a child from his mother and blame her for the relationship break-up.

A lot of violent men try to keep control over their exs through the children.

Possibly.

But as always with these kinds of threads, it's easy to go with the OP's view and very hard to comment without seeing the whole story.

marisco_2

Thank you all so much for your advice and suppotr it has made me feel calmer. The crazy thing is that I have never bad mouthed their dad to the boys. I would not do that to them. They deserve better than to have a mum who would do such a thing. It is up to them to decide thier views of him when they are old enough, not for me to influence that in any way.

meritaten

be careful marisco - but at the same time live your life hun. just be careful and make sure that schools know to only let kids out to the designated carers etc.

meritaten

marisco - while your not badmouthing your ex to your boys is a good thing - please impress on them that they are NOT allowed to go anywhere with their dad unless they have spoken to you first! They wont realise that contact with dad is wrong unless you tell them it is.