What do I do?

floralaura

You need a solicitor and a residency order or he can just take your Child-as he has PR he is 'entitled' to do so. You can apply for residency and include in the application that theres history of domestic violence..in some circumstances a judge will grant it without informing the other party-especially of you dont know where they are/DV issues previously.
Do it now before its too late as its a lot harder to sort when your child has already been taken, take it from someone who sadly knows this..he may not be planning to take your children, its not worth taking a gamble on though.

marisco_2

Hanging_by_a_thread wrote: »

It is up to you if your son ever gets to read it of course. One thing I do know is that mothers and sons have a very special bond, where there has always been a good relationship between them. As a grown man I doubt he will think well of his father for saying all he has in that letter about you.

The last thing I want to do is give my sons any reason to hate their father. I always wanted the boys to love my ex and I equally, as their parents. I had hoped even after the way we parted that he would be a good dad to them and I did all I could to enable this.

I will do all I have to, to safeguard them of course. Something my ex has always known about me. I have sent my friend home as they have a long commute into London each day. Going to head to bed and try to get some sleep, have a very busy day planned tomorrow, not what I need right now really.

Thank you all again

Soubrette

DannyBo wrote: »

Or... Pack it away somewhere until he's older and can form his own opinions.

Having had a mother who has said some quite vile things about my father to me which although I am 99% certain are lies, this kind of thing always leaves that 1% uncertainty. It has ruined my relationship with my mother and also with my father.

I personally would not pass it on to my child at any age, I would lodge it it with a solicitor.

SkipE

I would keep the envelope as well to show when it was posted. Just in case he tries to deny even sending it and says you wrote it to make him look bad.

Defo keep copies and maybe give a copy to a friend to keep for you. You sound like a wonderful mum protecting your little boys. I wish you all the best x

Pollycat

Marisco
lots of great advice already so nothing really to add - except to ask how you are feeling this morning.

What an absolutely shocking thing! My flesh actually goosebumped whilst reading your first post.

Best advice is to keep the stuff and seek advice.

I actually think Peachyprice may have hit upon the truth saying he meant for you to read the letter.

It could be that he's still out of the country and has given the parcel to someone to post here in the UK just to make you think he's back.

ruby-roo_2

Hope you are okay marisco

marisco_2

Feeling calmer this morning and starting to see this as peachyprice suggested it as being, another 'mess with my head' attempt. Though those episodes stopped years ago and I am wondering 'why now' to start again.

I got fed up of feeling down and anxious about this, not a state I like to dwell in. Instead I have been busy this morning addressing things and have started to feel stronger about it all. I am not going to get upset any further or worry myself silly. As far as my boys are aware I am my normal, self assured, happy self and that is how things are going to stay.

I use to work at the school my boys attend and spoke with the SENCO, who I know really well. She is up to date on all that has happened and has reassured me somewhat. I have also now spoken to my boss and made her aware. If at any time there is an issue involving my ex at the boys school, I have been told I may leave immediately. I am lucky in that I work near to where I live so wont have the additional panic of trying to reach the school in time.

Pollycat

marisco wrote: »

Feeling calmer this morning and starting to see this as peachyprice suggested it as being, another 'mess with my head' attempt. Though those episodes stopped years ago and I am wondering 'why now' to start again.

Glad to hear you're feeling calmer, it must have been a hell of an unpleasant shock for you.

Maybe something in his life has changed recently - a relationship breakdown perhaps and his thoughts have gone back to you.

I sincerely hope that's not the case, though.

gingin_2

I agree with Peachy too, marisco, that was my first instinct. It's hard to add anything else constructive as you have already had brilliant advice but I wish you all the best and am glad you are feeling calmer, although you will probably be on a bit of a roller coaster emotinally for a while

splishsplash

I hate to say it, but the guy clearly has an agenda in his head. You've been given notice and put on guard, so be careful. To sit down and write four pages of bile, to go buy a teddy bear, wrap it up and actually go through with posting it is not done on an impulse. He had time to reflect on what he was doing, yet he still did it. I would find that very worrying.

If I were you, I would do some digging. Has your son had any contact with his dad that you're not aware of? Is your son online? Does he have a mobile phone? What about your other child? Has there been any attempt at contact that you didn't know about?

I would also be checking out where exactly your ex is, who he's with, how he's doing. Is there a problem with drink/drugs? Is there a new family? Is there a breakdown of a new family?

I have to say, if it were me, I'd be scrambling fast, I'd hang on to that letter and packaging, I'd be down to the solicitor's as fast as i could to set up a residency order in case this is just an opening gambit.

Good luck OP, it sounds horrible. I also got goosebumps reading your first post.