Crying and more crying and she hasn't even gone yet!

gingin_2

emweaver wrote: »

Wow the amount of grief the OP is getting all for missing and worrying about his daughter , come on ! You can't win on here.

I think the comments are justified. It's natural to miss your children but it's selfish to project that on to them. From what I get from the OP, this is the case (re. the wife not wanting to see her off).

OP, with a great big smile on your face I'd tell her you'll love her and are proud of her for doing this and that can't wait to hear of all her amazing adventures and save the emotion for later and when the other children are in bed. I really think your wife needs to go to see her off, other than non- cancellable arrangements I really can't think of any valid reason not to.

miss_independent

As someone with overprotective parents please don't let her see that you are upset. I had to deal with the tears and "how will we cope without you" and as a result I felt so guilty I ended up not taking amazing opportunities that would have taken me away from home for long periods as I got older. I feel like they clipped my wings.

Please just let her go - literally and metaphorically.

little_miss_muppet_face

I know how you feel, my teenage son left for south america last week and gone for 22 days and i miss him, but happy that he is enjoying himself, cant get a good phone connection so phone calls have been a pain but we can text so i know he is okay,

i am enjoying the cheaper shopping bills thats for sure..and not making food every 5 mins for him ..

balletshoes

I agree with peachyprice and gingin - of course its natural to miss your kids when they are away on holiday. But you don't project on to them (or the other kids in your household) that you'll be crying and moping, counting the days til they're home. You wave them off, smiling and excited for them. And you don't mope in front of the kids at home, because they will then have the shine taken of their future trips as well.

stebiz

I'm listening to you and I'll do my best to hide it from her. Fortunately (in a nice way) I'm in work on lates this week, so I won't see much of her. I'll be arranging cash etc for her and doing a few errands.

I think it is hard at times. I genuinely want her to have a super time. Just worried that's all.

Amanda65

stebiz wrote: »

I think it is hard at times. I genuinely want her to have a super time. Just worried that's all.

Worrying is completely normal (jeez I don't sleep until all are in and accounted for when they're home) but projecting yoru fear and heartache onto your daughter is not.

Ich_2

Of course parents worry it's our job. But must realise from day 1 that the children will leave the nest. sorry but that needs thought about throughout the child's upbringing so this sort of situation never arises as it can be to the child's detriment!

The first time our son went on a "lads" holiday we were on tenterhooks all the time, BUT, we had always known it would happen so were prepared as well

peachyprice

Please try to talk your wife into going with you to drop her off. It's ten times worse not going at all than going and shedding a tear while you wave her off. All the parents will be there with tears in their eyes as the coach pulls away, I promise, but at least they'll be there.

Imagine how you would feel if you were going away and knew your wife of children couldn't bear to say goodbye to you because they were too distraught to see you off. Would you enjoy yourself knowing you'd left a family member so unhappy?

claire16c

Worrying is normal. But if you're that worried your wife should be going with you to drop her off.

I used to get teary when I started uni each year & went travelling in my gap year & tiny bit again a couple of years ago. I knew my mum would shed a few tears later on. What I needed from her was to be strong for me at the actual time so that I could cope with being on my own at uni not seeing her getting upset-apart from teary eyes she would never do anything else. If she'd got massively upset I probably would have got upset myself. She could go home & cry on my Dad! That's fine! When I started uni that would have made me want to get back in the car and go home!

podperson

It's totally normal to be worried and to miss her lots when she's gone. As others have said though, try to keep a positive front on for her sake, it's a wonderful opportunity for her and you don't want her to not be able to enjoy it to the full as she's thinking about you and your wife being upset about her going.
You've obviously raised her well if she's confident and independent enough to be able to go on a trip like that so try and focus on that side of things. Also look at planning some fun things with your other kids in the meantime.