5 year old daughter struggling to socialise :'(

marisco_2

Awww bless her. My youngest thinks it is loving to rush in of a morning and wake me up by jumping on me like I am a trampoline then smothering me in kisses. It is lovely for now, while he is just seven and light. God only knows at what age, or weight, he might stop though :rotfl:

susancs

OP, your daughter your daughter sounds like she is a lovely affectionate little girl and you sound like a kind caring Mum. From my experience in school of five year olds, it is often the children whose Mums are friends, who play together, just because they are familar with each other due to the Mums. Arranging play dates is a great way to meet other Mums (ask them in for tea) and get your child to play with other children.If the school do P.T.A. events and meetings (where you can take your child with you) after your work finishes then it would be a good way of meeting other Parents and also for your daughter to see you in a role in school. Likewise if you have odd holiday days you could book off work, you could offer to go on your daughter's classschool trips occassionally as a helper as you would have your child and a couple of other children in the group. Things like sending in your child with Easter egg nest type of cakes you have made at home to be given out to all at the end of the school day also helps your child's sense of self esteem (and makes them skip happily into school with their tin full of baking). It will be easier in the summer months to arrange for your daughter to mix with others as when you pick up you could ask a parent if their child can come to the park for a play with your child after school and a picnic afterwards, before you drop the child home or you could offer to take them home for tea before an activity they both go to happens. Make sure to swap mobile numbers (in case of emergencies) and then you can text to maybe meet up at the park, soft play place, tea at yours etc after school and in the holidays. Just some ideas, but you sound as if you are on the case already and I am sure you will be wondering what you were worried about in a few months time, when she is busy with all her friends.

property.advert

No-one ever picked the kids who pee'd their pants at my school either so I'd work on that first.

However, the kids who pee'd their pants never lost that tag either, not from the age of 5 to 15. They were always ostracised.

I'd look to get the child moved ASAP.

krustylouise

susancs wrote: »

OP, your daughter your daughter sounds like she is a lovely affectionate little girl and you sound like a kind caring Mum. From my experience in school of five year olds, it is often the children whose Mums are friends, who play together, just because they are familar with each other due to the Mums. Arranging play dates is a great way to meet other Mums (ask them in for tea) and get your child to play with other children.If the school do P.T.A. events and meetings (where you can take your child with you) after your work finishes then it would be a good way of meeting other Parents and also for your daughter to see you in a role in school. Likewise if you have odd holiday days you could book off work, you could offer to go on your daughter's classschool trips occassionally as a helper as you would have your child and a couple of other children in the group. Things like sending in your child with Easter egg nest type of cakes you have made at home to be given out to all at the end of the school day also helps your child's sense of self esteem (and makes them skip happily into school with their tin full of baking). It will be easier in the summer months to arrange for your daughter to mix with others as when you pick up you could ask a parent if their child can come to the park for a play with your child after school and a picnic afterwards, before you drop the child home or you could offer to take them home for tea before an activity they both go to happens. Make sure to swap mobile numbers (in case of emergencies) and then you can text to maybe meet up at the park, soft play place, tea at yours etc after school and in the holidays. Just some ideas, but you sound as if you are on the case already and I am sure you will be wondering what you were worried about in a few months time, when she is busy with all her friends.

Thank you SO much for all of these suggestions and kind comments - what a brilliant set of ideas!!! Guess who's going to be baking this week?!

krustylouise

property.advert wrote: »

No-one ever picked the kids who pee'd their pants at my school either so I'd work on that first.

However, the kids who pee'd their pants never lost that tag either, not from the age of 5 to 15. They were always ostracised.

I'd look to get the child moved ASAP.

Hi,

Sorry I maybe typed it wrong, she doesn't do obvious full blown wees, only we know about it if she goes to the loo and you can see her knickers are wet, it's never on her trousers etc. and we've started a game to help her muscles "down there" the start-stop game where we tell each other to start and stop when we wee, that way she's learning where her muscles are and toning them up. 2days so far without wet knickers

krustylouise

property.advert wrote: »

No-one ever picked the kids who pee'd their pants at my school either so I'd work on that first.

However, the kids who pee'd their pants never lost that tag either, not from the age of 5 to 15. They were always ostracised.

I'd look to get the child moved ASAP.

I've only just read the last line of your message - what a stupid flippant comment. Bore off!!!

concerned43

Just caught up with this tread, my comments were not a personal attack and I felt they gave some good advice, up to you whether you take them on board or not. I am also a single parent, my ds did not have the luxury of seeing his dad at weekends as he died when ds was months old, so my main focus is my child and if I can do anything to make him happier i would be doing it as a priority, all mundane stuff takes a back seat.
I was worried about your dd as she is clearly distressed, ie. wetting herself, anti social behaviour and therefore she clearly needs help. So my comments where to help her - not you!
Lastly this is a public forum and if you post here then you should realise you may not like some of the comments you receive and one takes the good with the bad...but I don't think jumping down someone's throat helps your cause.

OrkneyStar

krustylouise wrote: »

So seeing as your comment was not constructive, and was just critical, keep it to yourself. Something I was brought up to do!

Honestly, I think you are being over-sensitive here. I read concerned's post as to the point but constructive. Instead of thinking 'poor DD, poor, me, she's being picked on and so on', think 'my beautiful DD, what can I do (forgo even) to let her meet more people, make friends, become part of things'. I am not a particularly sociable person, but I do realise sometimes I have to put myself out a bit for DS.
It seems you are doing some of the right things already with having her go to rainbows and other activities- maybe she could invite someone from there if you don't think there is someone from school for now? And don't give up lol! DS (5) is kind of on the edge of the 'cool boys' group but he seems happy enough, plays footie, does Anchors, that sort of thing, and he has a lovely little female friend who he has clicked with and they get on great!

SuzieSue

concerned43 wrote: »

Lastly this is a public forum and if you post here then you should realise you may not like some of the comments you receive and one takes the good with the bad...but I don't think jumping down someone's throat helps your cause.

I didn't think that there was anything wrong with your post, but then I'm not feeling vulnerable and distressed about my 5 year old daughter. You started your post with "Sorry" , so you knew what you were going to say might hurt the OP, so you could have said what you said differently so as not to hurt her feelings and still have got your point across like you did on your first post which was excellent.

concerned43

SuzieSue wrote: »

I didn't think that there was anything wrong with your post, but then I'm not feeling vulnerable and distressed about my 5 year old daughter. You started your post with "Sorry" , so you knew what you were going to say might hurt the OP, so you could have said what you said differently so as not to hurt her feelings and still have got your point across like you did on your first post which was excellent.

SuzieSue wrote: »

I didn't think that there was anything wrong with your post, but then I'm not feeling vulnerable and distressed about my 5 year old daughter. You started your post with "Sorry" , so you knew what you were going to say might hurt the OP, so you could have said what you said differently so as not to hurt her feelings and still have got your point across like you did on your first post which was excellent.

Your right, but at the same time I got annoyed that she was justifying her lack of time she could put to solving the problem was because she worked full-time and looking to the school to take up the baton on her behalf. I was pointing out that lots of mums work full time and they can still find time to help their kids when there are any problems. It also looks like she does not work full time if she picks her dd up at home time (as she says in a previous post) therefore she is being disingenous! She has had lots of great advice for her dd and therefore hope that she feels she has the tools to turn the situation around and she does not need to post on the subject any further, if not, I would be thinking the problem lies with her and not her dd!