5 year old daughter struggling to socialise :'(

krustylouise

He does come to parents evening and anything that happens or is discussed I always update him. I don't think there's a parents evening soon though

krustylouise

Thank Marisco for your kind comments and support. We do work together on issues concerning our daughter but sadly some times he does lapse back into his old ways ie fighting games, which I know are not age appropriate.

I am grateful for (most) of the input and time and effort people have spent trying to advise me it is truly appreciated and u have already taken steps today in changing the way things are for DD and we have even organised out first play date for Easter hols

Funky_Bold_Ribena

krustylouise wrote: »

Thank Marisco for your kind comments and support. We do work together on issues concerning our daughter but sadly some times he does lapse back into his old ways ie fighting games, which I know are not age appropriate.

I am grateful for (most) of the input and time and effort people have spent trying to advise me it is truly appreciated and u have already taken steps today in changing the way things are for DD and we have even organised out first play date for Easter hols

I take it the most applies to me!

If you see, I suggested the threat of stopping contact to make him see that this is an issue you feel is important. If you did think it was important of course. You daughter not being able to socialise is probably due to her behaviour which is directly related to being too aggressive for her peers [note this has already been mentioned by the teacher as an issue]. There's always a reason and you slipped when you mentioned the violent games he makes her play. If you really think this is fine then excellent. But things like this are completely relevant and just because one person online says they agree with you - doesn't not make them right. Ignore this at your peril.

valk_scot

Any particular reason her dad can't organise a few playdates for DD too? If he's looking for suggestions for activities to do with her?

I think you should have what my OH calls a full and frank discussion about these fighting games though. If you can point out to him that these are not helping her to moderate her rough behaviour, it might get through. Anyway if he's only got her one day a week he should be doing the sort of things she likes, not his games.


I do think it's actually very hard work ensuring your children are fully integrated into their peer group tbh. I'm a SAHM so no excuses for me but I did absolutely hate playdates in the house. Not for tidyness sake but more that I was on edge looking after other folk's children and felt a huge responsibility for them to have a nice time. (The secret turned out to be a huge dressing up box and lots of treasure hunts in the garden.) I definately preferred it when the kids went out on playdates! But needs must, it's important to get friendly within a group of parents at the school gate so that it becomes routine for your kids to all play at each others houses, I find. And it's useful for the odd bit of emergency childcare of course if you can't make the school pickup one day. So a bit of social networking by you at the school gate might also pay dividends?

krustylouise

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I take it the most applies to me!

If you see, I suggested the threat of stopping contact to make him see that this is an issue you feel is important. If you did think it was important of course. You daughter not being able to socialise is probably due to her behaviour which is directly related to being too aggressive for her peers [note this has already been mentioned by the teacher as an issue]. There's always a reason and you slipped when you mentioned the violent games he makes her play. If you really think this is fine then excellent. But things like this are completely relevant and just because one person online says they agree with you - doesn't not make them right. Ignore this at your peril.

Funky - have you read the whole thread? Perhaps if you had you would realise my "most" comment was aimed at someone on the first page. Glad to see I'm not the only defensive person on this board...,.

krustylouise

I do chit chat when I pick DD up but don't drop her off on a morning as she goes to breakfast club, so this is limited. I have organised 2 play dates over Easter now plus a birthday party and a spring ball do hopefully all these will help.

Shepherd1

Hi op I hope your play dates work out for your daughter, but I do think you need to do something about your ex and the video games. When my daughter was in primary 2 a little boy grabbed her head and smashed it off the playground wall while playing a "game". The next week he burst another girls nose open while playing another game, I have no hesitation in telling my daughter to stay away from this boy and not to play with him.

krustylouise

Hi shepherd. My daughters not rough in that way, she's never and would never hurt anyone in that way, she just cuddles people when they don't want her to and when they pull away she won't let go, that kind of rough. She hates being in trouble and knows hurting people intentionally would land her in it!

FBaby

Bless her, she is probably just full of life, but for kids who are not used to it, it could be quite frightening. I know that would have scared by boy! Saying that, she will quickly learn to associate that behaviour with kids staying away from her.

I do think that inviting some other to her place, and reminding her before how other kids are not as demonstrative as she is and for them it can be a bit frightening to get a big hug, they will soon think of her in a different light.

I hope she doesn't totally lose her loving nature though, expressed the right way, it is such a lovely trait to have.

krustylouise

I'm far too loving with her for her to lose it! But maybe bear hugs should be left for mummy :0)