Here we go again......

fluffnutter

Carl31 wrote: »

Im not sure i agree with your comments. Addiction is an illness. Many people use drugs and alcohol without being addicted

Addiction is certainly not a lifestyle choice, what a stupid and ill informed thing to say. Addiction is a mental illness, perhaps the result of something more traumatic. Such people need time and help, not looking down upon

Hmm, addiction is a choice. Saying it's an illness removes personal responsibility. There is certainly a genetic predisposition towards addiction, hence why many can drink etc. without being addicted, as you point out.

I certainly agree that people with addictions need support, not judgement. But it's still a choice. Every alcoholic, every gambler, every drug user decides 'I will do this today'. And they can also decide 'I won't do this today'.

Person_one

Nobody chooses to be in the state your mother is in, not actively. They may choose to drink each individual drink but if you could have shown her a picture of what she'd become before she started, I'd bet good money she wouldn't have chosen it. I've watched people die of ALD, bright yellow and bleeding from every pore, no rational person would ever ever choose that way to go, the OP will attest.

Its oversimplifying the matter to say its either completely a choice or completely an illness, and to be honest, its totally academic in this situation as it makes no difference to how the OP can deal with her mother.

I agree with everybody else who's stated that rehab will only work if your mother is completely committed to it, and unfortunately it doesn't sound like that's the case.

From what you've posted here, I would suggest that you start preparing yourself for the loss of your mother however you see best to do that. If you prefer to stop seeing her and focus on your own nuclear family, then do that. If you feel you would regret not seeing her then spend some time with her but don't waste it on trying to solve her problems, it would be a pointless exercise.

Is there an alcohol specialist nurse or a drug and alcohol team at the hospital she's in?

Person_one

fluffnutter wrote: »

I certainly agree that people with addictions need support, not judgement. But it's still a choice. Every alcoholic, every gambler, every drug user decides 'I will do this today'. And they can also decide 'I won't do this today'.

Just as an aside, a dependent alcoholic actually can't just decide that. They have a very strong physical addiction that means their body will be crying out to them to provide it with the alcohol it now needs in order to function. If they don't drink, they will have withdrawal symptoms that will make them seriously ill and can be life threatening.

geoffky

According to the theory, genes play a strong role in the development of alcoholism.
Twin studies, adoption studies, and artificial selection studies have shown that a person's genes can predispose them to developing alcoholism. Evidence from twin studies show that concordance rates for alcoholism are higher for monozygotic twins thandizygotic twins -- 76% for monozygotic twins and 61% for dizygotic twins. However, female twin studies demonstrate that females have much lower concordance rates than males.

Reasons for gender differences may be due to environmental factors, such as negative public attitudes towards female drinkers.
Twin studies suggest that males are more likely to have a genetic predisposition for alcoholism. However, this does not suggest that a male who does have a genetic predisposition will become an alcoholic. Sometimes the individual may never encounter an environmental trigger that leads to alcoholism.
Adoption studies also suggest a strong genetic tendency towards alcoholism. Studies on children separated from their biological parents demonstrates that sons of alcoholic biological fathers were more likely to become alcoholic, even though they have been separated and raised by non alcoholic parents Female show similar results, but to a lesser degree
In artificial selection studies, specific strains of rats were bred to prefer alcohol. These rats preferred drinking alcohol over other liquids, resulting in a tolerance for alcohol and exhibited a physical dependency on alcohol.
Rats that were not bred for this preference did not have these traits (Lumeng, Murphy, McBride, & Li, 1995)Upon analyzing the brains of these two strains of rats,it was discovered that there were differences in chemical composition of certain areas of the brain. This study suggests that certain brain mechanisms are more genetically prone to alcoholism

fluffnutter

Person_one wrote: »

Just as an aside, a dependent alcoholic actually can't just decide that. They have a very strong physical addiction that means their body will be crying out to them to provide it with the alcohol it now needs in order to function. If they don't drink, they will have withdrawal symptoms that will make them seriously ill and can be life threatening.

I know that.

geoffky

fluffnutter wrote: »

Hmm, addiction is a choice. Saying it's an illness removes personal responsibility. There is certainly a genetic predisposition towards addiction, hence why many can drink etc. without being addicted, as you point out.

I certainly agree that people with addictions need support, not judgement. But it's still a choice. Every alcoholic, every gambler, every drug user decides 'I will do this today'. And they can also decide 'I won't do this today'.

t..
When is it still a choice and when is it a need? And when does the brain take over the decision to drink rather than the person..The answers might enlighten you..

Person_one

fluffnutter wrote: »

I know that.

Ok, then I don't understand why you made that comment.

fluffnutter

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

It's very easy for someone who has encountered the AA helplessness paradigm to give any manner of excuse for their behaviour, but the fact remains, every alcoholic chooses to have that first drink and chooses to continue drinking at the expense of everything around them.

Couldn't agree more, Jojo. Fantastically put.

I'm actually very sympathetic towards people with alcohol (or any other addiction) problems and wholeheartedly believe in programmes that help and support addicts, rather than judge or ignore them. But I'm also very sceptical about the AA approach which is that you can't solve your alcohol problems without recourse to help from a higher power, nor are you responsible for them. I don't buy this.

People need help with sorting their lives out. Few people with happy lives choose addiction. To merely say 'you're ill, it's not your fault, there's no other factors than a random illness' is too simplistic and ignores the need to examine the reasons why you've allowed your vices to overpower you.

marisco_2

When a person first starts out on their relationship with drugs, alcohol, gambling etc, they are capable of making choices. Once they are addicted those rational decisions become harder to make. Hence why so many seek professional help to safely stop.

Carl31

geoffky wrote: »

t..
When is it still a choice and when is it a need? And when does the brain take over the decision to drink rather than the person..The answers might enlighten you..

I think this is what people fail to grasp. Such chemicals cause hormonal releases that mimic natural body responses. Telling an addict not to drink is like stopping yourself from drinking water when thirsty, or trying to stop the desire to have sex

Of course these things can be done, but an addiction cant be controlled by saying 'im not going to do that today' if it was that easy, there would be no addicts

Bottom line is, addiction is usually spawned from another matter, such as abuse or depression. Judging an addict by the actions they choose now ignores their hnderlying issue completely, which may not even be there fault