Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

neverdespairgirl

Spirit wrote: »

Just read an article in teh Telegraph on increasing numbers of wives retaining their maiden name.

I have been married for almost 30 years...at work and in my banking I am known by my maiden name . Driving licence and passport have my surname followed by my husbands surname.


What is it like in other NP households?

Women barristers need to keep their maiden names - reputation is all. Doesn't do you much good having a load of reported cases as Miss Jones if you then waste it by becoming Mrs Smith.

My pupilmistress (now in her 50s) did the standard thing of her time, of staying Miss Jones at work but being Mrs Smith in the rest of her life. SHe has two bank accounts, two signatures, the whole lot.

Seems far too much hassle for me, as well as being schizophrenic. I shall remain Miss NDG throughout my whole life, notwithstanding husbands 1-5 and their surnames (my future husbands, and their as yet unknown surnames).

Isaac has, reasonably enough, OH's unspellable and unpronounable surname, and they share the burden of it with my brother-in-law, and they're the only 3 in the UK with that surname.

I get called Mrs NDBoy a fair bit, in connection with Isaac, particularly when the undoubtedly middle class family turns up with mother, father, and infant son, we get called Mr and Mrs NDBoy, and I tend to get called that by random health visitors or GPs (apart from the far more offensive "Mum", which I loathe being called by third parties).

If I book a holiday, or tickets, or whatever, and we turn up, OH tends to get address as Mr. NDG, and couldn't care less. We both just let it pass.

Doesn't seem to bother Isaac that I have a different name. He asked why, once, and I told him I've always been known by my name, and I wouldn't like to change it - it feels like "me". He said he wouldn't want to change his either, and everybody was happy.

neverdespairgirl

misskool wrote: »

any ideas for using up gooseberries please? i will make jam with some but we don't eat that much of it.

I adore gooseberries - can't go wrong with a fool.

They also freeze well - my mother freezes them (in bags, to avoid frost burn) and they survive the experience very well.

neverdespairgirl

GDB2222 wrote: »

Spirit, good for you!

I knew a barrister who worked for the Inland Revenue in the 1920s. At that time, women who got married had to leave the civil service, so she simply didn't get married. That didn't stop her having a family and continuing her career, and she showed me photos of her lovely grandchildren. That was far, far more daring then than all the women's libbers nowadays. A very, very impressive lady.

My mum worked under her married name, so she didn't have those issues, and likewise Mrs GDB.

She sounds great! More power to her elbow.

The marriage bar continued for a surprisingly long time in the Civil Service - my history A level teacher was offered a job at the Foreign Office, and turned it down because of the marriage bar.

misskool wrote: »

Maiden name only. I don't mind being called mrs oh's surname but joint accounts etc have my maiden name.

But my approach has meant hubby has been called my surname which is hilarious

Happens with us all the time - but OH doesn't seem bothered. My surname's a lot easier to spell and read, anyway!

SingleSue wrote: »

Funny you should say that...just got back from the big hospital with him!

Is he OK, Sue?

SingleSue

He's fine but he is sporting a rather bruised hand which the local hospital thought was broken.

Earlier today, I actually thought I was falling off the cliff again as it is all too much but I feel a lot brighter tonight, helped by some of the weird things youngest comes out with, such as "They HAD to touch the hurt bit 14 times didn't they!"

My reply "So what is the moral of the story then?" (meaning, what do you not do to prevent injuring yourself)

Him "Don't go to the hospital"

lostinrates

I still cannot wait for that 1960s window at the end to go. . But at least it adds light for the time being. It's amazing to have a corridor, I dislike warren type corridors usually but I like having my own. .




The little window up at the far end will be IN the shower. My parents have had showers with views twice, though their windows were bigger. It really is lovely to shower with a view. Sadly our view isn't as great as my parents last view of Miles and miles of nothing apart from Alfred's tower in the distance. We could usually shower watching deer watch us!


Edit.....I'm thinking the fittings are more boyish than girly. The shower head I would not have found in a million years, some one on Mse directed me to it, and I thought DH would hate it, but he loved it. We did ONE SHOP MICHAELS would be proud of me for, and managed to get it at about 25% list price.

lostinrates

SingleSue wrote: »

He's fine but he is sporting a rather bruised hand which the local hospital thought was broken.

Earlier today, I actually thought I was falling off the cliff again as it is all too much but I feel a lot brighter tonight, helped by some of the weird things youngest comes out with, such as "They HAD to touch the hurt bit 14 times didn't they!"

My reply "So what is the moral of the story then?" (meaning, what do you not do to prevent injuring yourself)

Him "Don't go to the hospital"

Does the summer break act as a release valve or does it just upset routine again?

I'm sorry its so tough Sue. I wish there were something we could do.

SingleSue

A bit of both really, it gives him a chance to recharge and de-stress for a few weeks but then his routine goes out when he goes back and it is all change.

bugslet

Spirit wrote: »

What is it like in other NP households?

Never married though Mr Bugs would have loved to, if I had done, I would have kept my name - my name is on some of my trucks and it's just who I am. Think it carries on from the whole never marrying and losing your identity thing. I know it doesn't mean that, but it does to me!

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

We have some fantastic accordian recordings. I really like some of the accordian dance fusion stuff, by with I do NOT mean 'accordion love' trance :rotfl: but more Tango- y dance stuff. we have some but i cannot really lift myself up in the heat to go and dig it out and find put what it is to make this post make sense but its good . especially in is sort of weather.

A friend of mine took me to see Bajofondo Tango Club (now just Bajofondo) a few years back and they were fab for that type of music. Apologies for poor quality video, but it's a good reflection of their music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp7_rlh34Fs

They were playing at the South Bank and the accoustics made them sound absolutely fantastic. You could hear every single nuance, just like in a recording studio. Wonderful!

vivatifosi

Re the wet towel round the head trick

GDB2222 wrote: »

Why not just take a cool shower? And you get clean.

It's more of a trick for when you go out. I learned it when I passed out on a RIB in Antigua and was brought round by having a towel chucked in the Caribbean then slung round my head and shoulders. I was trying to avoid a posh alert. Alternatively you could also do what my cousin did in Australia, run into a complete stranger's front garden and turn their garden hose on yourself. Nobody batted an eyelid apparently...

Spirit wrote: »

Just read an article in teh Telegraph on increasing numbers of wives retaining their maiden name.

What is it like in other NP households?

I've been married 20 years and took husband's name as wasn't keen on mine and liked his better. Didn't realise until after this, what impact this had in career terms. Had to go reintroduce myself to a lot of people who hadn't a clue who I was. In hindsight, this was not such a good career move, but I do prefer the name I have now. Plus I have a brother and nephews to ensure the other name has continued, which also in hindsight, I'm very happy about. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Phew. All caught up now.