Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

neverdespairgirl

michaels wrote: »

There was a lady immigration lawyer on BBC TV News this morning who was trying to help Afgan translators. Is this the sort of immigration work you get involved in NDG? Do you know her?

It is precisely the kind of work I do - I deal with a lot of Afghans, including some interpreters.

I might well know her, but I didn't see it. What is her name?

neverdespairgirl

lostinrates wrote: »

I feel somewhat the same, ( apart from the fact I recognise I cannot influence the length of their lives) and logically of course dh does ( and would rather have a mother than inheritance) BUT in practise what happens is a complicated mess of confusion, hurt and in so e people greed and avarice. A will takes out the mistrust and really does offer the people you leave behind a clearer path and less mistrust.

In a family that sounds as great as yours its probably difficult to imagine how people who love each other can also trample each other, but it does happen...not least because grief can make people fearful I think.

I didn't mean to sound as if I think that other people can't wait for their relatives to die and leave them a fortune; I think ambivalence about inheritance is entirely standard.

I also agree that intestacy is usually a serious problem, and everyone should have a will. Makes things much easier when the inevitable happens.

My parents were prompted by my mother's illness to revise their wills - they had detailed, proper ones, but they were out of date, and referred to the care of their minor children by grandparents, etc - all our grandparents are now dead, and we are all of age, so they tidied them up.

OH and I have wills, too, naming my parents as Isaac's guardians.

michaels

Can't pull up link but it is currently on bbc front page, Rosa Curling of Leigh Day. BTW if this is too close to being personally identifiable information please say so and I can remove anything inappropriate.

neverdespairgirl

Don't worry, it's not personal at all - I've heard of her, but I don't know her.

lostinrates

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I didn't mean to sound as if I think that other people can't wait for their relatives to die and leave them a fortune;.

Oh, there are some.

I honestly cannot really say how I feel about it. I am less 'close' to my parents than many, despite our relationships being good now. It's a bit of a source of personal guilt about personal failings really, I don't think one is meant to be able to think of such things relatively dispassionately when there is no bad blood.

LydiaJ

Generali wrote: »

As a pretty experienced rider, I know how annoying and painful it is for rider and pedestrian both when they come together at any sort of speed. I also know that pedestrians tend to treat a shared path like a pavement and so not look before changing directions etc. I make extensive use of eye contact and body language to try to prevent a coming together of two parties.

Any time you are on a shared path with me, I will be happy for you to look at me in order not to crash into me. I will even make eye contact with you, and probably smile.

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

OH inherited when his parents died - not remotely a stroke of luck, really, as OH was only 26, his brother was 19, and both his parents died in the space of 6 weeks.

When my mother was ill last year, my Dad started banging on about wills / inheritance / land etc, and I didn't want to hear any of it. I want my parents to live a very long life, spending and enjoying every penny they have.

Similarly, I know I'll inherit a reasonably significant chunk of money when my dad dies, but I am hoping that won't be for a long time. I'm kind of hoping he goes on as long as him mum did, which would give us another sixteen and a bit years of him. (He's nearly 87 and she got to 103.) And if he needs care before he dies, I'd rather he spent the money on whatever it takes to give him quality of life than left it to us. I am (possibly naively) confident that we'll get through sharing out the stuff without any family rifts. I know the will leaves the bulk of his estate to the four of us kids in equal shares, and we have a track record of dealing well with each other, so I'm hoping for the best.

I have a will. I made my first one when LNE and I got married, the next when DS was a baby, the next after LNE filed for divorce, and the most recent one after he died. Come on then, NP, own up - who hasn't got one? Go and do one this month.

GDB2222

mystic_trev wrote: »

Make sure you don't purchase the Car Hire 'Supercover' or CDW Insurance. I'm hiring a car from Hertz at Glasgow Airport tomorrow.They want £160 for a weeks coverage :eek: I've used insurance4carhire. £42.50 for an annual policy, also get £10 back through Topcashback.

They make most of their money on the insurance, don't they? I remember, years ago at Big Yellow Self Storage, looking at their insurance offering. IIRC, 85% of the premium went to Big yellow as commission for marketing.

Thanks to Zag, I'm going to malagacars.com. Around £10 a day for a Seat Ibiza, including full CDW. There are a few exclusions, so I may also have to pay for cover for damage to the tyres and bottom of the car at 4 euros a day extra, as we will be staying with my cousin who lives at the end of a very long dirt road.

lostinrates

Obviously it's illness season, gp does need to see me so have agreed to make an appt, and asked when....nothing for almost three weeks. (Unless I go to walk in clinic which isn't going to be great and its not urgent anyway so.....). Long wait, huh, and that's not even with 'my' gp but another at the practise.

michaels

LydiaJ wrote: »

I have a will. I made my first one when LNE and I got married, the next when DS was a baby, the next after LNE filed for divorce, and the most recent one after he died. Come on then, NP, own up - who hasn't got one? Go and do one this month.

Please don't quote.

I don't have one which I feel bad about but I have been putting it off as I know it will cause contention between DW and I wrt to guardianship of DKs. Basically she doesn't like my family and would insist that her family should be named, one in particular of whom I think is a waster and would see our DKs as pound signs allowing them (relatives) to live a very cushy unemployed lifestyle using kids money and that DW in a vulnerable state would not have the strength to resit their suggestions; whilst DKs might end up living a rather 'unstructured' low ambition lifestyle. I know the answer is to discuss with DW but she has such an inferioity complex when it comes to our respective families (almost entirely unjustified) that it will be hard to reach an agreement that we are both happy with.

lostinrates

Michaels, this is exactly why you need to do it. Tbh, it's so very important a reason that I would even spend on arbitration or something to work through and meet some agreement.

I hope raising it here means its tackled.