Hoarding - Springing Ahead

anirtak191

ok so how often does everyone feel they hit a brick wall.

kinda felt like it last night, couldnt get motivated. and felt like i was having a bit of a break down lol.
id mentioned to my husband about not being sure about getting rid of something but it felt with the way he was saying so your getting rid of that, that i was being pushed into it. the reason i was considering getting rid of the glass oven dish was cos yes i do use it, the only problem wit it that due to my husbands enjoyment of my cooking and his appetite i dont feel its deep enough, i use it to make corned beef pies, cottage pie, apple and custard crumbles, and bread and butter pudding. tried to use it for lasagna but not quite deep enough.
i said to him i dont think he realises how hard i find it throwing stuff out most of the time. but at least he agreed that he probably doesnt as he sometimes gets rid of things too easily then regrets it afterwards.
but also have to agree with him, once i make up my mind about something i get impatient on getting it done, and now my nan has asked if its ok for her to come up again, so i got about 2 months to get as much as possible done before she does come. i always make sure it is tidy when she visits actually my husband says i go over the top in making sure everything is tidy before she comes, thats why theres so much stuff in the sare room i hide stuff in there that i dont know what to do with just usually make sure the bed is clear for me and my husband. and i have to say its far from clear at the moment where i been moving things around in there.
i ahve to say it would be nice to be strong enough to just go in with a load of black bags and throw, but as much as i tell myself thats what i should do, i think ive said before i just cant help myself and feel a need that makes me have to go through things just to make sure theres not something in there i might need or definately need.
i spose i will get there eventually. just last night looked a little bleak, and i cant get motivated properly today.

softpad

Anirtak I really can relate to how you feel. My hubby is not at all helpful most of the time and is quite negative. I hide things away when others visit and find it really stressful.

Just keep plugging away. I find it helps to grab a pile or box of stuff and take it down to the lounge. I then sit and sort that small pile while I have a cuppa. When the rubbish bag is full I seal it up and ut goes out immediately as then I cant change my mind and dither OR husband cant go through and rake things out! You will feel loads better when it is gone, all this stuff is such a burden and stops us from doing things we really enjoy xx

lobbyludd

Hi AM - I get stalled all the time, and other times I am seized by a momentum. I try to just keep doing one little thing a day when I'm not motivated so that things are continuously going out of the door - it does all add up. Often the little something I do is something mentioned on here by someone else - that way all the thinking and emotional work has been done for me

when I'm stalled (and most of the time) I try not to agonise over a decision too much, if I can't resolve the indecision fairly quickly I move on, otherwise the whole process is too draining - start with the stuff that is easy for you. e.g. that dish, do you have other similar dishes? keep the best one and donate the rest, if not resolve to keep that one until another more appropriate one presents itself (don't go looking for one just now, as you have other more pressing things to be doing at the moment) at which time you'll donate this one.

car boot is filling up nicely with tip/cs stuff, all fairly random from around and about

GreyQueen

Afternoon all.

Have had a very frustrating day faddling around with my mobile, combined with cold symptoms and a general CBA mood. Plus some upsetting news about a relative, today. All combining into a not-fab set of circumstances.

Plus I'm sure the chilly dreary weather we have here is dragging the mood down.

Re decluttering, it's funny how it goes in fits and starts, isn't it? Sometimes you get some big bits out of the way and everyone can see an improvement and you feel great. And other times, you can't make the simplest decision about the simplest things without having a major 'moment' and the feeling like you'd like to get in a car, start driving and just never come back to face it all.

I have a bag of stuff for the tip which will go tomorrow. Would have gone today but apart from a quick flip to a nearby shop, I've not been out. I have big projects on the go but didn't have the energy or the mood to work on them today.

So I pecked away at a few other things which needed to be done, such as some personal filing and administration. Amazing how this stuff can quietly mount up, isn't it?

I also have a pile of newspapers given to me by my pal across the block. It's the local rag, I like to glance at it for stuff which friends and neighbours may have been up to. Have decided to skim-read one every few hours then get them into the recycling.

Will be having an easy meal tonight (the wonders of leftovers) so will hopefully chill, have an early night, let the cold get some rest, and feel better and more capable tomorrow.

I think we need to accept that decluttering is a bit like creative juices; sometimes they flow and sometimes we will have Declutter's Block. Trick is to maintain a holding pattern and not allow ourselves to backslide whilst we wait for the mood to strike for the next press forwards.

Onwards, outwards and upwards, my lovelies. GQ xx

lobbyludd

right I've emptied the shoe cupboard and put it in the car, along with a "first pass" of shoes for cs - kids shoes that they've outgrown, the 2 pairs of summer sandals with tidgy heals that I bought for work wore once and decided I am not a heels at work kind of gal, the pair of wedge heels bought second hand by a friend and given to me by her at least 15 years ago that every time I wear them make me go over on my ankle etc - 2 carriers worth.

The rest are in a large tote bag and either this evening or tomorrow I'll dig out the shoes from the bottom of the wardrobe (including the never worn trainers ha!) and pare it down more - I know it is ridiculous to hang onto the green suede peep toe/40's style high heels that were bought to go with a wedding outfit 8 years ago and not worn since, but I like them, they're very pretty .

But I'm not going to agonise, I'll get rid of what is easiest because I know at some point in the future I'll go back through them and releasing more of them will be easy. I'm not on TV, so I don't have to get it all done in 2 days, there's a car full to go and everything that leaves is progress

dianasnan

GreyQueen wrote: »

Well done, silvasava.

Just think, how much Stuff might be being kept in homes across the land Because it Was Mum's. Or Nanna's or Grandad's. How strange it might be in the dearly-departed could look down and say; By gum, I never was that attached to that bliddy vase/ clock and now she's hanging onto it like it's the crown jewels, the daft besom! Get rid, girl, get rid.

I had to chuckle as I had to deal with quite a few books when my Father died. I started to go through them but came to an abrupt halt when my Mum casually mentioned in passing that my Dad had brought a lot of them back from a local school fete in a baby bath as they were giving them away at the end. -so much for them being his prized posessions.:D

Books used to be a valuable possession but now they are so cheap with the likes of the book people,(think 10 books for £10) and Kindle that all our local Oxfam book banks have gone and even the charity shops don't seem to want them.

anirtak191

well, after a bad night lat night, and an extremely slow start to my day with a lot of procrastination, i finally found my way into my spare room and, still only ended up seeming to just move stuff and put it away, but i got almost another cheap black bag full, actually its feeling a little heavy so maybe i shouldnt put much more in it. and it seems like i made some sort of prgress. and i have just finished trying to sort through my wardrobe. i have got 1.5 bags of clothes that as much as id like to keep as some of them are still nwt and do a car boot sale with, on monday when i take hubby to work as i need the car for my pyschology appiontment during the day, im going to drop them in one of the local cs. that shouldnt give me tiem to change my mind, i have a couple of items ive put on local selling fb pages and have someone coming to look at one of them allready, but she cant get here till wednesday. no worries on me changing my mind on this outfit tho, as its a cream 3 piece suit, and i stay as far away from light colours as i can, dont like them they look dirty after not long of wearing, and being a bigish person i know light colours can make you look bigger. the only light coloured item of clothing im going to keep is the dress i married my hubby in, as much as i dont like how short i look in the pictures lol. but then i never like the way i look in pictures and have always prefered to be behind the camera than in front of it.
i had no idea books were dying out, yes i have a kindle but i only got one as my sister, witch extremely surprised me at the time, gave me her old one when she had a new one. she prefers the kindle because she finds it easier to read, i think it got something to do with her being dislexic.
i have used it just to read whatever she left on there for something different to read.
i read most of the virginia andrews books, and have a fair few of them in my over head cupboard over the bed, but thats the only place they are. i also have the twlilight collection, and one really tatty paperback copy of children of the dust.
ok so i got a collection of enid blyton books in a suitcase in the attic aswell, but will see how i feel when i get round to the attic they the same situation as the tape i mentioned earlier. reading has always been an enjoyable thing for me and when the mood strikes thats all i do for days until i finished the set. hubby even gives up trying to talk to me when i get a book out until i put it down.

i have a plan of action for tomorrow, just see if i can get round to doing it. procrastination is also a favourite past time, and it is probably a bad habit i should try and get out of.
doubt im going to do any more tonight but you never know if as usual i dont sleep.

thank you all

GreyQueen

dianasnan wrote: »

I had to chuckle as I had to deal with quite a few books when my Father died. I started to go through them but came to an abrupt halt when my Mum casually mentioned in passing that my Dad had brought a lot of them back from a local school fete in a baby bath as they were giving them away at the end. -so much for them being his prized posessions.:D

Books used to be a valuable possession but now they are so cheap with the likes of the book people,(think 10 books for £10) and Kindle that all our local Oxfam book banks have gone and even the charity shops don't seem to want them.

This is very true. And how fortunate that your Mum was able to be there to make that comment before you got too involved with the books and felt duty-bound to keep them forever as sacred mementoes of your Father's interests.

The decluttering writer Don Aslett (highly recommended if you haven't yet 'met' him) is very astute on books. He points out that we hold onto each and every book as if it were of equal value, as if all books are important repositories of wisdom and worth. Perhaps this dates back to the times when books were rare and expensive, when we perhaps lived in families which only owned a few books and kept them forever.

My brother is an online bookseller for a living. Most books, even big handsome hardcovers in excellent condition, have almost no financial value. We're talking about 60p and postage for most things. Their only value is in being read, and they don't achieve that by being hoarded on bookshelves by someone who has either read them already or intended to read them and didn't get a round to it.

Sometimes, even books which are 100+ years old, are utterly valueless, so holding onto them for a big one-day cash-in is a fool's errand. Yes, keep books if you want to read them, if they hold useful information in sufficient quantities to justify shelfspace (e.g. keeping a big fat cookbook for one recipe is a bit silly), or if they warm the cockles of your heart whenever you handle them, but keep them in a considered way not a knee-jerk way. Getting rid of books doesn't make you an ignorant barbarian, after all. It just leaves room for more books.

Whenever you turn out someone's bookshelves, you'll tend to find stuff which has become irrelevent due to being a once-popular novel which is hopelessly dated, containing information which has been proven to be untrue or is now incorrect (at school in the 1950s, Mum had a geography text book from 1897. Lots of international borders have moved since then ), or relates to things which no longer exist, such as obsolete computers and other techy things which have long gone to the tech graveyard in the sky.

They were kept too long, they 'died in storage' and now nobody wants them for more than firestarters.The going rate for romance paperbacks secondhand at charity shops and bootsales is 10p each...........if you can get it.

Happygreen

I had an utterly frustrating day yesterday. I had to go into the storage cupboard as we are missing the box of a newish computer which still had the discs in it. I did not find it and there was nothing else in there that could go to make it less cluttered. Then I started to look through a pile of papers and to my despair maybe 1 sheet could go as all else was work related. On the upside I'm hoping to vivit a friend next week who I am keeping all the music/film/book inserts of our newspaper for and as I've not seen her for some time it should be a huge bag going.

silvasava

GQ - very good comments on the book front. I & DH are both avid readers but whereas I pass on or donate my books after I have read them he keeps & re-reads his (why????) The only books I have kept are a family bible, my grandfathers copy of 'Seven Pillars of Wisdom' printed in the thirties and my mothers Bookano book 2 that I and my boys loved.
Managed to get some books sent to my niece yesterday & a baby present posted too. Couple more 'posty' things to do today so I can send them tomorrow & need to sort out new phone provider for DH who only ever phones as he's somewhat technophobic!!
Have a good day everyone - if you can't face any decluttering today just chill & it will still be waiting for you tomorrow, the day after, next week.................................. sorry, only joking