Hoarding - Springing Ahead

roundtuit

GreyQueen wrote: »

but it's all part of the job and I mostly like it a lot.

Heck, it's indoor work with no heavy lifting and they pay me for talking to people, what's not to like? :rotfl:

Snap! I haven't thought of it quite like that, but that's exactly what they pay me for too. And I'm going to remind myself of this when I go back on Monday after 11 days off 'cause no matter how much I like my job, I know my bed will pull that morning


Thankyou GQ


Rxx

softpad

Anirtak I would chuck the Foreman and buy a Breville Cafe Press. I did this as I didn't like the Foreman and I could only do meat in it. The cafe press cooks in the same way you can still do meat, bacon etc, but it is really versatile and does Paninis. Because it has flat surfaces and not ridges, it just wipes clean when it's cold with a damp cloth and I use it all the time. You could do your meat in it and also paninis, toasted sandwiches etc for hubby as well. I love mine.

I have been keeping up with my washing up ethic and have thrown away properly (rather than just moving) the washing up bowl and drainer. I never have dirty pots now hurrah! It is SO freeing to just be able to make a cup of tea, bake, etc, with clean uncluttered surfaces and not a dirty pot in sight. I have broken a habit of years. I have a glut of eggs from my hens (80) so am going to do a load of baking, quiches etc and freeze them, too good to waste.

Because the kitchen is clean I have been eating healthily too. I got weighed last week and whilst I have 4.5 stones to lose I have lost 4 pounds in the last 9 days. I am so thrilled. I am starting to feel a bit better and more in control of things.

I got rid of a load of cross stitch patterns which I have been hoarding. They were cute with kittens and teddies etc and just not my style. I have had them years and years but could honestly never imagine wanting to sew them so I thought, they had to go. There is no point hanging on to stuff that I will never use.

I really see this thread as hoarders anonymous. It is so helpful having a group of people who are like me and understand and we can share tips. I don't know if anyone else is isolated, but I really don't have any friends at all. It always seems to go wrong and as soon as I trust someone, sooner or later they end up kicking me in the teeth metaphorically speaking. I really don't know why. I have always been a listener and helped people and perhaps that attracts the wrong sort of friends, I don't know. I wonder if any of you are the same? I am also a very private person and it takes a lot for me to open up and trust people.

I have made a start on my huge cross stitch project, whenever I sit in front of the TV which tends to be for two hours or so in an evening when I am sitting with hubby, I make sure I am doing something creative. It really is quite exciting watching the picture come to life although its going to take me a long time indeed. It is very tiny count linen and the pattern is pages and pages long. I have rewarded myself with this project because of all the things I have cleared.

Hoarding and collecting stuff (and money worries) seems to have wasted the last 18 years of my life. It's quite depressing really although I am lucky and still young. I have wasted so many years and not really achieved anything apart from being exactly where I was years ago IYSWIM. All that has changed now and I have to say it is mostly due to you good people.

We were in a supermarket the other day and I liked some tumbler glasses (I didn't like my old worn out ones). I had a voucher to spend and bought the small and tall, tumblers. Hubby tried to get me to buy the whole set but I firmly said no and dug my heels in. I am happy with the other glasses I have and I really have broken the whole collecting a set of things mindset. I came home, chucked the other glasses in the recycling box and put the new ones out. Great.

Now that things are clean I find that I have too much baking stuff. I know one of you said about having so much baking stuff in cupboards. Well, I would say I bet you have too much as I do. I had for example, 6 tins the same. I am NOT going to bake that many cakes at one time so I have put all but two on the car boot pile. I have also culled some other stuff from the kitchen that I like but will never use.

I went to a car boot with hubby at the weekend and usually would come home with bags and bags of stuff. I only bought a footstool (which I have been wanting), some cotton for my mending box (needed and six for a pound for good Silko), a couple of talking books on tape which I listen to when I am in the kitchen, four napkin rings (which will get used) and an electric Breville Pie Maker. I was very proud of myself. Hubby was extremely astonished.

I really have had a lightbulb moment. When I look at the clutter and piles they really annoy me now and I see them as barriers to doing the things I want to do. I have an item of furniture that my brother made before he was tragically killed 20 years ago. My mum gave it to me as she could not bear for it to be thrown away. It is unfinished and quite big and bulky. I have been wrestling with what to do with it for two years, now. I can't really use it even if I finish it. I have now (almost) made the decision that I am going to get rid. I am not throwing my brother away or my memories of him, and he is not in that piece of furniture. This has been a huge step for me. I really am starting to realise I can let go of things. When I look at items, if I am not going to use it or if it is not beautiful, I tell myself it has to go. After all, otherwise I am just storing it until I die and will never use it or get the benefit of it. What on earth is the point in that??? It is really hard but necessary. My hubby has not been able to get in or use our kitchen for years, its always been me as there have been piles everywhere with just a path to the cooker, kettle etc, and bursting surfaces everywhere. I also wasted a lot of food as I got it out of the freezer and just never used it and ended up throwing it away. I wasted a lot of money like that. Now, he too can go in the kitchen and I don't feel ashamed any more to let him do so as there is no mess, the floor is clean and clear, no pots and no real clutter. I feel SO much better.

Thanks all and I do hope some of you find my posts helpful. x

whitewing

Lovely posts Ames, lobbyludd and Irishrose.

I just realised there are other posts here that I've ignored as I am on the testing of the new forum and don't always notice things the same way.

arnitak, you are among friends here, real friends albeit it internet ones. And there are loads of us here...(can I just ask any lurkers to thank arnitak's post so she knows she has support).

roundtuit

lobbyludd wrote: »

this next bit might seem a bit random - but as a a fully paid up/card carrying member of the crazy gang with a rich and interesting array of mental health diagnoses I am gently asking if you are getting help with the anxiety you mention?

((anitrak)) I think that's one of the reasons for the success of this thread for me - the folk here understand anxiety/ depression/ other stuff - often because they are living with it too. And someone will often post something that makes me realise it's not 'just me being stupid' other people have the same 'quirks' and they're okay, therefore maybe I am too. Hope that makes sense.
It's a place where people are honest and can open up without fear of being judged, and where you'll be supported and encouraged.
What I've done if I've got 'stuck' on an item, is put it to one side and move on to something easier for me to deal with - and I've found that the answer usually comes to me once I stop 'angsting' over it. Hope that helps.
I'm taxi-ing my dad this morning, I knew when I 'planned' three days at home uninterrupted that something would come up... it did! Heyho - at least I am free to help without having to rearrange any other plans (Think Pollyanna)
I'm determined something will be decluttered today - now that pots and recycling have been tamed!!


Have a good day everyone. Baby steps!


Rxx

Catriona_P

*waves to everyone*

I'm poorly Husband (who has been ill for 2 weeks and won't take anything for it but is keeping us all awake at night) has spread his germs so I'm attempting to soldier on when I just want to sleep.

House is currently a tip as we've had to empty the bedroom for building work this week. The sight of stuff everywhere is making me feel very stressed and I'm sleeping downstairs which isn't comfortable.

To top it all off I got my exam result last week and its yet another failure so feeling very down about it all. Looking for a silver lining but all there is stormclouds right now.

Hope everyone has a good day!

pigpen

I'm another who doesn't go out unless I absolutely have to.. school runs and various appointments are my limit.. We visit OH's family one weekend a month and I spend 3-4 days recovering from the trauma of not being at home.. I'm not depressed, it doesn't make me anxious I just don't like going out.. 20 years ago I was never in.. playgroups and shopping and just walking the streets so as not to be at home!

I just hate people .. real, live, visible people, I hate them!

After 20 years of a nasty bullying husband I think I just forgot how to be part of the real world.. this did get massively worse when we moved to a crappy area 16 years ago and lived there with no contact with anyone for 8 years, I then had bit of a breakdown when my nanna died, I had a massive flare up of PTSD and then we moved house which on its own was a horrific process.

But.. life goes on!

roundtuit

softpad - I identify with a lot of what you are saying, so yes I find your posts helpful.:beer:
The binmen have just emptied the burgundy bin - cardboard and plastic- yayyy.

Rxx

anirtak191

thanx all.
hi softpad, imentioned the cafe press to my husband and he has agreed, but i think thats just cos we get rid of the foreman lol.
and i will say congrats on the weight loss, i have been battling with my weight for 15 years, im around 15 stone now, but i managed to loose about half a stone when i gave up trying, but then thats stopped and stayed level again since.

and i think it was me that said about too much baking stuff, off the top of my head, i have 2 loaf tins. about 6 round tins as i use them to make large yorkshire puddings, but i spose i only really need 2 for the 2 of us, have either 4 or 6 baking trays for meat. only use more than 2 at a time come christmas, 1 large round spring loaded cake tin, 1 small 1, and i have lost count on the silicone ones, but and im not sure if this is an excuse, but they are all different shapes, trains, teddies, cars, butterflies, castles, and im sure there are a few more just cant remember what shapes at the moment.
but thats why i got so many there not just plain round or square ones.

and i completely understand what you mean about not having friends, i got the same problem, but that also includes relatives, well local relatives.
due to certain things inm y life ta the time, i moved away from family, and not married at the time, but i met hubby just before i moved, and he helped me move, and then never left lol. his family followed him and i thought we were really close, and i had 1 person i thought i could call a friend. but local family and the friend started talking with each other about 2 years ago now, and suddenly i was invisible. october last year, my gramps was diagnosed terminal, lung and bowel cancer and brain tumour. with weeks to live. i moved in with my nan to help care for my gramps as we wanted him at home and even tho he didnt know how ill he was, we knew he would want to be at home aswell. at the point it was starting to get a littel too much for me as i was on my own, my nan seemed to be hiding, and i ended up being on 24 hour call for him, he would call me on my mobile form his when he needed something as you couldnt hear him calling if you were upstairs. so i asked my husband to try and find someone for the animals so he could come down, i didnt want him to do anything i just needed the moral support. when family was asked, we either got ignored, or was just told cant. and wehn he asked the friend, her reply was well i cant really be bothered but if i really have to...
witch at that point we both kind of lost our temper and just said well dont bother then, as we didnt want to be caring for gramps and having extra worry on top that the animals were actually being checked on and fed, or weather they were only going to be fed.
what made me angry the most was a few years ago, my sil friend was diagnosed with a brain tumour with weeks to live, and i had the nieces and nephews while she went to help her friends partner care for her friend, 3 months i had the children, and no i dont begrudge it, in a way if it wasnt for the circumstances it was nice having them. me and my husband actually got financially in trouble through the time we had the kids, as we werent offered a penny for the extras for the children and we didnt ask, until we were that skint we didnt even have the overdraft to fall back on and asked their dad if he could take a break from his gaming and bring nappies round for the youngest. but during the time we had the kids he never dropped in once until we asked for the nappies and then he made sure he came after the kids were in bed.
so unfortunately with all the just being recent ive hardened a little bit ive told my husband that ive basically had a gutsful and they betternot come to me in the future, as ive always been then when someone i know has gone "help".
same thing a few yearsa go we made friends with another couple, they ordered out of the park, then didnt pay, as they were adamanat up until it was too late to cancle the order that they still wanted it. to have a £250 cancelation fee to pay, that ended up being close to £2000 in months of bank charges for us as we hadnt had the money to pay.
according to my husband im too nice and too trusting. and when im out and getting nervoue i start rambling on and give to much information. the main one being that i start getting self conciouse, i have pcos, its a hormone imbalance, and i get facial hair, i feel like its being a belicia beakon especially if i havnt dont anything about it for a bit, or it feels worse than what it looks. i seem to start explaining it. and even tho i understand some people probably arent interested and staring as much as it feels to me they are, at the time im so nervouse thats what it feels like to me. but later on once ive calmed down i see that it was a bit silly to feel like that. just cant seem to help myself.

anirtak191

ok so since first posting few days ago, i have managed to get rid of 3 small black bags of in items.

and for sale i have:
a computer chair new in its box,
a 20 ish yr old yamaha keyboard,
2 pairs of black shoes.
1 pair of silvery gold shoes,(cant make up my mind of teh colour as it depends what light you look at them in)
2x4 sets of duck shapes bath bombs, bought these originally for my nan for christmas about 3 years ago, gave her one set and she still has them so didnt give the others. she uses them as a decorative door stop for the bathroom?
a disney prncess sounds and stories book,
disney fairies puzzle set of 3
tatty teddies set of 4 puzzles
core secrets exercise ball
black suede(i think) jewellery box, small one
green hand bag
pink handbag
brown shoulder bag
multi use bike spanner,
nail varnish
2 books on ideal uses for vinegar and bocarbonate of soda,
costume jewellery necklace (like pearls)
a nest thing for a vase to decorate when flowers are in there,(only had flowers once in nearly 9 years off hubby and that was last year, and they are still sitting in the vase as i wanted to keep them for proof he actually knew how to buy them :rotfl:)
a tube of conditioning hair mask,
a cd rom of card/boards games(not enough memory on my computer to use it)
wedding cake ornament never used
a glass ash tray with rolling machine
some childrens books that belonged o nieces and nephews as they not been round for 2 years and have grown out of them,
a 25/6 yr old cassett tape with stories on for children
a health and well being spell book,(dont ask i have no idea why i have that maybe it was in a lot of books i bought years ago to sell at a boot sale)
a live catch mouse trap
and a buzz off lint remover machine thing.

oh and yeah and a couple of net curtains to go back to my mum

GreyQueen

Evening all.

I'm very tired today and a bit poorly tonight. No details to blight your ears, it's all a bit gross........:p never mind, these things are sent to try us.

Went to Hoxfam after work and dropped off two donation bags. How I love the feeling of un-shopping, going out laden and coming back empty. OK, strictly speaking not coming back empty-handed as had some veggies, but they're consumables and don't count.

I ditched a jamjar into recycling before work. I used it to transport something from Mum's to mine and it never was intended to be a keeper but I still had a mini-swither about keeping it. But I resisted. I can recall being a kid in the 1970s and having a fixation with Roses Lime Marmalade jars, they still make them. The moulded glass ones. Very satisfying objects.

I have brought some random stuff from Mum's including an iron (was Nan's, is defunct), and a computer mouse, also defunct. They were kicking around at random at Mum's because their home is quite a way from their town's tip, Dad doesn't like taking the car up there as has a paranoia that beggars will have left nails about and tyres will get punctured. As I'm in and out of my city's tip several times a month, I volunteered to take them with me and drop them off next time I'm cycling to the tip here. They have an electrics bit.

Mum was saying on the phone tonight how appreciative she was of my help at the weekend. I felt a bit sheepish as it was just the tops of two pieces of furniture, but it was nice that it was valued.

One thing which really made me laugh aloud was her comment about a particular card for her birthday which was still on the mantle over Easter. She has had the habit of stashing cards in the drinking glasses section of their wall unit until there was a stack about 5 inches deep. And until Easter, my attempts to deal with these was met with quite a hostile refusal, so I backed off in a hurry.

At Easter, she let me do a mass cull. And, speaking of this other card, she said she'll just keep it to show to

---

(SIL) and then it can go. I asked if she was intending to put it in the cupboard and start another pile (I probably looked a bit woebegone at the prospect) and she said no without hestitation - it's to go in the recycling! You could have knocked me down with a feather, frankly.:rotfl:

Quite amazing for a habitual hoarder in her early seventies, proving that those you love the most can still surprise you.

Have dealt with some of my post but not all. Got a catalogue from Goo Oootdoors and paged thru before recycling it. Saw a pair of walking trainers of the kind I have as my everyday non-office footwear, on special offer and had this convo.

Ooooh, look, it's those trainers, they're only £20 and if I buy them in that week there's another 10% off and that's only £18, woop-woop. Oh, hang on, I get about 2 years' use out of these and the present ones have only been in service since last autumn so probably won't need replacement until Autumn 2015. But what if there isn't an offer on them when I do need to replace them *wibble*.

That's the audio track of part of the GQ brain this afternoon. Lots of issues there, from the desire for a bargain to fear of loss (of a bargain) at some point 18 months away when I do need to replace my trainers. But I told myself that they'd just get in the way in my tiny flat and there's always a special offer on somewhere and not to panic about fear of a trainer-less future. And breathe.

Keep on keeping on at it, lovely peeps. We are the only ones who can do it, because it isn't about just shovelling it out, in the way that permanant weight-loss isn't just about living on lettuce for 6 months. It's about understanding why we do what we do, and trying to do it differently in the future. I shall be giving up chocolate again tomorrow......and if you knew me you'd be rolling your eyes and saying AGAIN! If you see the profits of various choccie-makers dip sharply in this financial year, you'll know I've stuck with it for once.