Hoarding - Springing Ahead

suzitiger

anirtak191 wrote: »

ok so im probably not going to come on here often, but i just seen this thread about hoarding, and i apologise now if i start rambling on as i have a bad habit of doing that.

Hello anirtak,
I will try to reply properly to you later as I am on my mobile at the moment but just wanted to say hello and welcome and congratulations to you for your lovely post.
Please remember we have all been in a similar place to where you are now so you can ask and tell us anything
Greyqueen as per usual has written a lovely reply which I can't expand on much as she has given you some great starting points but big hugs to you and I will reply properly soon

lobbyludd

hey anirtak191 welcome,

you are amongst friends here: generous, funny, mad-as-a-box-of-frogs, non-judgemental friends - great words from peeps above so I'd just say that 1) coming here has helped me loads, 2) starting off with the emotionally easier stuff worked well for me (carrier bags/non-fitting clothes/magazines/whatever is easiest for you) - everything sorted/released makes a difference and gave me the emotional and practical space to deal with the more emotionally loaded stuff, 3) starting small is fine - too much stuff doesn't arrive overnight and it's fine to release it gradually at a pace that works for each of us, some people have committed to one thing per day or 15 mins of sorting per day.

pots were planted yesterday and winter squash - in an ikea potato bag which I've been using as the bathroom laundry basket for 5 years! I am experimenting without having a laundry basket in the bathroom now as there is one in my room and one in son's - if that isn't sufficient I have downloaded a pattern to make one with some of the fabric stash.

all fabric is now either up in the loft or in a drawer in the lounge (current projects), instead of being pretty much in every room, and all wool is in one place. I've started to sort through the fabric, so I have one large bin of batting/inter lining, one of plain white/cream fabric, and one of fun fur (lol) still 12+ to sort but I have put in the cs pile 2 pieces (3+ yards each) of fabric I don't like - was given to me years ago, I didn't like it then and still don't so it can go!

was getting very annoyed by flies coming in yesterday but was able to use some of fabric stash to rig up a pretty muslin curtain on the back door which I'll sew properly today. This is all big progress for me.

also threw out some more stuff from loft, have discovered a box of letters and photos from first love which I don't feel like tackling at the moment as I am overwhelmed with feelings just being near it - not necessarily bad feelings but I think I am scared of feeling very strong emotions - I'm not confident in my ability to move through them without succumbing to a very deep depression that I can't get out of.

what would you do? little and often/ box the whole lot up unseen and throw? leave as is for now?

softpad

I would not even look in the box I would throw it away and I bet you will feel instantly unburdened. It's in the past so don't even give it a thought x

whitewing

I would burn the letters without looking at them.

I burnt mine recently and I don't regret it.

Before she died my nan burnt the ones she got in the war from my grandad. No one else ever read them. I would have loved to have read and kept them but they were her letters.

The ones of mine I burnt were sweet but nothing of earthshattering importance. The ex would probably have been embarrassed if he thought I'd kept them even that long.

pigpen

lobby.. if I am honest.. I would put them to the back off the loft until I was in a place I could let them go without emotion. I have a similar box from KH.. and I have no positive feelings about him but those bits represent a significant event/period in my life and I'm not ready to burn them yet.. I will get there.

ginnyknit

If getting rid of hoarded stuff was easy this thread wouldnt be here! Gq has succintly put it all in order for us - thank you If 'things' are causing you problems then you need to decide what you need more - piles of stuff or space light and calm. Its really that at simple and cannot be done till you are ready.

I started with the help of everyone on here last year and last night my Mum stayed over in a neat and tidy spare room, the living room is is much better and only had to mop the kitchen floor :j My bedroom is still a little too packed but am working through it and the bins were emptied today so can start again. Im still not at the point I want to be ie able to move house if necessary but am well on the way.

Just waiting for a lady from freecycle to come and relieve me of a box of crafty goodness then its back to sorting fleabay things for the next sale.

whitewing

Got some schoolbooks back to school, donations to CS and tupperwares etc to MIL this morning. Fold up table is away.

I like light and air in the house at the moment. At my worst, I felt threatened by even having windows open so it is still a joy to feel fresh air through the place. My stuff was barriers to people coming in eg intruders as much as people getting emotionally close.

anirtak191

thank you to all that replied to my post. after i got off here, last night/ this morning. i actually managed to fill one small black bag, cant fit a lot in the ones i have at present as the bottoms fall out when you try to carry them as they are cheap and nasty.
but i put more in it than i probably should have and its gone in the bin.

and now at the end of today, there as me thinking id taken a plunge to try and turn the rest of my life around aswell. but all ic an do is just add another couple of failures to my list of many.

i applied for 2 night jobs where my husband works, nights because i suffer with anxiety and depression, and thought nights would be better as i wouldnt need to contend with too many people.
1 of them i didnt even get considered for as it has been a long while since i last worked and couldnt remember dates id started and finished in previouse jobs and so hadnt fille din enough information.
the other i think i was being given a chance as the lady looking at my application is also my husbands boss.
i have tried ringing companies to get drtails for starting and finishing and unfortunately as it has been that long ive only been able to be given 1 set of dates and that was just the year i worked there as i wasnt there for long.
ah well another lessoned learned i spose, im just unemploayble,

ginnyknit

Anirtak, somewhere there is the right job for you, it just may take a little time for it to appear. Well done on starting the clearing process, every little bit helps. If you throw away or rehome a carrier bag full every couple of days you will soon see an improvement which will spur you on. Sounds as if you are ready for change and are in control. :T

Posted all my parcels at last and gave Mum her baking tins back from all the cheese onion and bacon pies she sends for Oh. The freecycle lady turned up, on time and very pleased with my box of goodies. Im loving this moving stuff on business

whitewing

anirtak,

I expect you have your bank statements somewhere so you could maybe get monthly pay spans from those. As you feel better about your stuff and self new opportunities will crop up.