Hoarding - Springing Ahead

Hollyberry

I am sitting here reading today's posts and smiling some sad and knowing smiles: so many pertinent and poignant posts today.

The sideboard that I am about to send to the charity shop was my nan's. I do feel bad about getting rid of it, but I love the sense of space there is without it in the hall. Nan, being a no-nonsense sort of woman, would have called me a daft ha'porth for being in the slightest bit worried about sending it on its way.

I've been kind of melancholy this Christmas without my mum, but am doing my best to keep very busy and smile as much as possible. There are some suddenly sad moments, like realising I don't need extra space around the foot of the tree for her presents, but generally, I'm doing ok. It strikes me that the secret is to be kind to ourselves, and do the best we can, which will be plenty good enough.

Byatt - I am sorry New Year's Eve is so painful. Each day in turn, one foot in front of the other, is a really sensible approach. I am sure there will be plenty of us around on here if the sleep through it approach isn't working.

Byatt

Thank you Calico and Holly , the one day at a time seems to be working, I'm also breaking with tradition slightly, not cooking a proper dinner on CD, but having foods I like, very self-indulgent. Never known before :rotfl:

I'm sorry for your losses too, I know when each of my parents died, it was the Christmasses that hit hard, and knowing I didn't have to buy a special card for them.

Piglet another fab post :T

Oh, I have lots of fairy lights, just love 'em...:D

whitewing

Yeay! Got rid of loads of the presents! Lots of space.


Have also done some baking for family presents so that will be gone tomorrow.


2 other bags of stuff has also gone.


My personal post has been stacked up for two weeks as I have been busy so that is all done.


Christmas cards are all open and hung up. Looks great. We have definitely got more than last year - people are buying again. The last 10 envelopes are in recycling.


I am behind with sorting out the washing though. My 15 minutes of chores had about an hour and a half between them.

calicocat

Well as predicted things have somewhat come to a head for my friend. She has just spent the last 2hrs on the phone (after family were looking for her as she did a bunk).

They are clearing the study and throwing everything out! She is very anxious, but we have talked for ages, discussed what was in there(5 or more yrs of unopened post!!)...she seems calmer now after talking about no pending bills from it or prison sentences due to unopened stuff so she knows she isn't going to die or any family member.

God bless her.

What stood out for me is that she feels they are doing it to be horrible to her, it makes you realise (which is why this whole thread began) how hard it is for those who don't do it but live with it through others or have to help or sort it. I too wanted to sort my own stuff out thinking how horrendous an ordeal it would be if I died and the mountain of crap they would have to sort through.

I do tell my friend however to never believe a pack of fish-fingers is what it says on the pack and to check it before she chucks it out...lol.

BYATT....i hope your CD food is great...to be frank turkey is pretty boring anyhow and seriously over-rated.... and fairylights rock...big time, how about putting an extra set up in the bedroom for NYE for your bed-fest...wish that's what I was doing .

HOLLBERRY....dont feel bad about the sideboard., my grandma would have been very annoyed at me keep me keeping her stuff for silly reasons just the same as yours.


PITLANEPIGLET.....lol, no my friend doesn't get freaked by any achievements, she knows where I was at a few years ago, not as bad as her in terms of the amount...but same thing. She knows me very well and is pleased i've sorted my crap, if anything she wishes it was her and discusses my strategies but she can't do them. I have spoken to he often about this thread and she loves hearing snippets...I usually tell her the funny stuff so she will think of it as friendly etc. I think she finds it hard sometimes as she wants to be there herself, but we are both cool with understanding different things happen at different times for people.

I'm so pleased that things are moving slightly even if without her consent and that she has calmed down about it for now.

whitewing

I am pleased that your friend is able to agreed thto clear out the study. Tell her to burn it - I find the light and heat compensates for the loss.

calicocat

whitewing wrote: »

I am pleased that your friend is able to agreed thto clear out the study. Tell her to burn it - I find the light and heat compensates for the loss.

She didn't agree, they were doing it and she left the house. She came back a couple of hours later though and we talked.

However you are so right about the burning thing, as always. I shall txt now and suggest a bonfire.


If it what I saw however could keep the street warm for a month let alone a bonfire.

Edit may have misread your post, in that she agreed with me after talking about it.

Sorry if got that wrong, a bit stressed for her and about her.

Pitlanepiglet

Ohhhh I can't imagine how I would feel in your friend's situation CalicoCat. I once had an absolute meltdown when my Dad moved some of my stuff from a shed to the loft....proper full on melt down and I wasn't in the middle of the anxiety creating situation and he had only moved it from one place to another within the same house!

I really hope your friend is OK, it must be a hugely stressful time for her, I wish her well x

whitewing

Has your friend seen any of the OCD cleaner series? I know many on here don't like it for various reasons, but it may help her to see a before and after, and some of the quick dehoarding.

whitewing

All this talk of fairy lights made me do something differently. We normally have a works Xmas tree but we didn't this year. I brought the decorations and tree home and was about to shove them in the cupboard (we already have our decorations up at home)...until I read everyone's comments.


So I have now sorted thro the work decorations, and thrown away the 30 that were broken or had the glitter badly rubbed off. The lights and the rest of the decorations are now dripping off our big houseplants and DD is thrilled with the big santa decoration. DH is cooking the evening meal and she keeps dragging him in from the kitchen as she can't reach high enough to feed Santa chocolate.

Byatt

I second WW's suggestion about burning. It is such a symbolic act and very cathartic, for me anyway. Things I can't bring myself to throw away, somehow seems ok when burning.

WW, that's lovely about the decorations, such a positive glow

Calico, I have some lights round my headboard, put up a week ago, just need to remember to turn them on!

Like Piglet, I would be in such a panic if someone moved my stuff, so hope your friend is feeling less panicky. I also understand how her family must feel, it's just such a tough place to be for everyone.