Hoarding - Springing Ahead

wisterias

GreyQueen wrote: »

Hello and welcome in, wisterias. Pull up a box, we'll scoosh up and make room. Someone's got the kettle and we'll get a brew going and have a plotting session.

I think the bathroom is the key, isn't it? The elephant in the room, the thing which really has you stuck at the moment and is making you feel wretched.

I can only make suggestions, hopefully I won't be the only one, and that between us, you can find something which makes sense and is useful to you.

Now, this business about the workmen having to go thru another room of clutter to get to the bathroom.......is this logistics or is this (potential) shame? Can they physically not get into the area to work, or is it that you cringe at the thought that they will see your hoard?

Now tradesmen go to all sorts of homes and see all sorts of things. They're pragmatic types. How many homes do you think the average jobbing plumber or sparkie or chippie goes into each year? Gotta be several hundred, right? And they're going to be so shocked at your home and diss you to strangers all across the town? Is this realistic or is it hoarding shame speaking to you?

If you're not sure if there's space for them to work, why not ask them? Just say, I have a lot of belongings awaiting sorting in the area near where you need to work, and I want to be sure there's room for you, would you mind giving the place a quick look before we book the job in?

A big chunk of my work every day is booking repairs on council homes. Our private contractors very rarely refuse to work in someone's home unless there's something extremely gross going on like piles of feces everywhere.....

Now, if that hurdle is past and you want a bit more privacy for the hoard whilst you have outsiders in your home, don't forget the time-honoured tactic of draping it with a sheet/ bedspread/ curtain/ whatever. They don't need to see the fine detail as long as they can get past it.

I think if you can get this bathroom thing sorted out, it will be so good in so many ways. You won't have the undone stuff nagging at you so many times a day when you use the room. You will see a project through to completion, and this will bolster your self-esteem no end. When I've finished decorating or even tidying a room, or a session on my allotment, I like to pause for a few seconds as I leave, to look back and admire my handiwork.

If it's DIY, I will keep coming back to smile at it and bask in the feeling of competance and satisfaction.

Try to envisage these hurdles overcome and the bathroom finished and you, there, in the tub, lying back in bubbles and smiling as you wriggle your toes in satisfaction. It's going to be great, isn't it? HTH.

GreyQueen
Thank you so much - what good ideas - I had done the "I've just moved in" excuse to death ( over 4 years on). It is the humiliation and embarrassment. It stops me asking anyone into the house - not good for your sanity.
I can see a way to bluff it out now and have someone in to do the bathroom tiling and the rest I have not managed to do.
I can see myself in that bath enjoying the bubbles:o
Need to work on my sense of humour - I know it's there somewhere. I read through the posts and am laughing and crying at the same time.
Enjoying the new motivation
Thanks again.
Thanks

wisterias

calicocat wrote: »

WISTERIAS

Welcome, and I think you will like it here, lots of support,help,funny reasons to keep/get rid of things. I think most hoarders start stuff and loose wind, being on here really helps though. For me a lot of the time if I post i'm going to do something, the for some weird reason I feel I have to, or at least attempt it. Others will get motivation in other ways. It will be different for everyone. And it's knowing you are not alone in the chaos. I have a friend who is really bad and wish she would come on here for help but she wont....yet...she's not ready I guess and it's too emotional for her.

It is definitely baby steps, and stopping and starting is allowed.

Good luck.

calicocat
Thanks for your support. It is already helping me - I have a promise I made to myself last night to put out 2 boxes of old books by end of today, and I will do it after I have thanked everyone who posted to give me good ideas to help.
(Coughing up to truth - there are about 20 boxes of old books!)
I have had a laugh and a cry and have a cup of tea on the go.
You lot are brilliant:T

wisterias

decogecko wrote: »

One's that helped me

'It's just sat in/on ........ someone could make use of this and get enjoyment from it, I'm not and it's a waste'

'I only want things in my home that I love or are useful' - I used this mantra when sorting stuff. TBH I still use it when I know I need to be ruthless.

and

'I'm worth it. I'm worthy of a clear home that I don't feel oppressed in'

HTH

Deco x

Thank you decogecko.
I have my notebook out and writing all this down for use when not on the forum. I hate waste so the first one is brilliant for me. I am going to make special cards up to dip in to help when I'm sorting through.:)

wisterias

MrsAtobe wrote: »

Hello and Welcome, Wisterias. Paperwork is my bugbear too, so I'll be waiting for tips on how to deal with it. (Apart from buying a filing cabinet and reinforcing the floor, that is). My home itself isn't too bad, but I have a garage full of carp that I need to sort through. Most of the boxes in there were put in storage over two years ago, when my OH moved in, but I just can't steel myself to just chuck them without checking through the contents first.

Logic tells me that if I haven't needed something in there for two years, then I don't need it now, but it doesn't work like that for us hoarders. Try setting yourself a time limit, 10-15 mins and put a timer on. Grab a box and only work on your hoard for that amount of time. I find I work better in short bursts, if I try to sort things out for too long I get head aches and feel emotionally drained.

Another thing that helped me was getting my SIL2B help me sort through my clothes and shoes. We've had two sessions at it now, and having a kindly but objective set of eyes helped me enormously to get rid of things that had an emotional reason for being there, but not a practical one, if you know what I mean.

You've taken the first few steps, reducing the amount coming in, well done!

Thank you MrsAtobe,
I know exactly what you mean. I have to check out the contents of everything too - with the idea that if I kept it then it must be useful, even valuable. Rarely has that been the case.
I am itching now to sort 2 boxes of books - if I am lucky it may be more.:T

wisterias

Gingernutty wrote: »

"If you haven't used it in a year, what's it doing here?"

Actually, that's a bit lame as well...:o

Thanks Gingernutty
That's a good one rhymes well:T

wisterias

parsniphead wrote: »

Don't sit and pout, chuck it out..........

I'll get my coat:o

My favourite up to now - thanks:)

calicocat

wisterias wrote: »

calicocat
Thanks for your support. It is already helping me - I have a promise I made to myself last night to put out 2 boxes of old books by end of today, and I will do it after I have thanked everyone who posted to give me good ideas to help.
(Coughing up to truth - there are about 20 boxes of old books!)
I have had a laugh and a cry and have a cup of tea on the go.
You lot are brilliant:T

Good job.....quick tip...DO NOT start reading any of the books, or flicking through them. Go by immediate instinct, if you want it put on a shelf, if you don't, put in a recycle/charity box within 30 seconds. It just about killed me but I got rid of around 300 books some while ago, if you have too many all crammed in to somewhere they start to smell a bit I think, and then there is bookworm, not that I even know what that looks like. But I can remember someone talking about that on the original thread.....might have been Jo-Jo actually.


Ok.......I get it, my mantra was in fact pants....lol. I have the excuse of it being stupid o'clock. I even googled mighty mouse to see if memory of him was correct, was the only thing I could think of at that time.

Lordy-lord. It has taken me hours (and I mean hours) to sort paperwork. Have done all the major stuff I think, have found everything I need to be able to get my hands on, all organised in files. I have to say I feel lots better. I was beginning to panic thinking I would have no clue where house ins,mortgage,and any other house details were if I needed them. Definitely feel like a load lifted now that done. Still have more to do which i'm doing after posting here, and before I fall asleep after beef stew. Then I need to shred some stuff.

After that bag up stew for freezer, and unless I get some bolt of inspiration that will be it and I will chill a bit.


Good luck with the books Wisteria.....i know how hard that will be, but it is doable......and you don't die after, it amazing.

parsniphead

Books are really hard to go through. I have had to get rid of hundreds in the past few years. When my OH moved in he had as many and we both had to make a sacrifice. I still have loads and think its time for another cull.

I have binned about 10 bottles of various potions from the bathroom this evening. I had one toiletries bag and only knew three items which were in there so thought I could just get rid of the other. I did check and it was a lot of old junk. I feels very good.

First thing on the morning I'm going to have a 15 minute cull in the bedroom and see what can be got rid of. Well done on sorting the paperwork calicocatThe one positive is that I sorted my paperwork months back and shredded all the rubbish. I just need to finish filing it. It was one job I thought I would never get the end of but did.

GreyQueen

Evening all.

Wisterias, glad to see that hanging with the Hoarders is helping you out. More power to your elbow.......and think of how much those books will be enjoyed by their new purchasers, and how the money from the sales will do good in the world. Isn't that better than having them gather dust and oppress you?

Today I went to my allotment and took the wheelbarrow with two huge bagfuls of seeding weeds to the tip. I also remembered the broken landline telephone which I'd replaced months ago. I'd taken it to the shed because I loop by the tip on the way home from the lottie frequently, and would take it then.

Only I kept forgetting to take it from the shed to the bike basket, would get to the tip, remember it and cuss, bike home and forget it, rinse and repeat the next time.

Anyway, it's gone into the electrics section so hopefully some bits of it can be scavenged. Now I only need to sand and stain/ varnish the corner shelf I got from the c.s. to hold the replacement phone.............*sigh*

I also went to the common with the wheelbarrow and wombled some horses' you-know-whats but that's to make next year's veggies grow. Honestly, I can barely credit that I have put literally TONNES of organic material into that bit of land and it's still level. Logically it should be a foot taller than the path.

Have been attending to the domestic arts this afternoon inc baking bread rolls and pizza and cooking kidney beans ready for a big old chili con carne tomorrow.

Errm, the kitchen is like a bomb site. A quick bit more interbulating then I best get in there and re-establish order.

I may be gone for some time.

pigpen

Not magnificently exciting but.. I sorted 5 items into the CS bag and made DS3 put his old shoes in the bin.. I also binned 1 sock, a pair of holey tights and some elasticless knickers..

I hope that counts as flinging!!