Very Broody......

mountainofdebt

What you could also do with the savings is use them to extend your maternity leave so that you're not forced to go back earlier than you would have liked for solely financial reasons.

But in answer to your question no there's nothing 'wrong' in buying baby stuff before you actually get pregnant but I don't think its a good thing for you to mentally, especially as you're having issues getting pregnant

codemonkey

Bride2b, while I think there is nothing wrong with buying baby stuff, I think you're dismissing people who don't agree with you without considering that some of us might know what we're talking about. A lot of us have been trying for a very long time, with or without mcs and believe me, we understand the mental toll that ttc unsuccessfully takes - personally, I've been at this longer than 2 years without any success and even walking past baby stuff in the shops hurts. Having some in the house would just be a daily reminder that it's not happening. I couldn't even have it locked away because even if I do manage to have a baby, it would be tainted by failure. I recently bought a really cute outfit for a friend's baby and I was so tempted to hang onto it, but what would be the point?

So my advice would be not to. Don't get rid of the stuff you have, but pack it securely away and don't buy any more. Use the money saved to buy a clearblue fertility monitor if you haven't already (I know lots of people have had success with that) and come and join us on the ttc thread because, if nothing else, its a place where people understand what you're going through.

fluffnutter

Bride2be24 wrote: »

Secondly please dont judge me or reply to this with nasty comments....if your going to comment with nasty replys then please just dont bother commenting and keep your opinions to yourself - thanks

What's all the bold, shouty stuff for? Comments like that are a red rag to a bull on an internet forum

fluffnutter

Bride2be24 wrote: »

Me and my husband have been trying for a baby since we got married nearly 2 years ago but nothing has come of it as yet. I have been terrible lately for searching baby clothes and cots etcs and saving them to my ipad and computer.

You've been trying for two years and you're now looking at baby stuff online... I think you're understandably getting a bit obsessed. I think you need to see the online searching as a symptom of how difficult you're finding this and let it prompt you to perhaps think about seeking some advice on fertility. Two years isn't all that long but it's plenty enough time for the pain and frustration to kick in.

Stop buying baby stuff. It will break your heart every month when you discover you're not pregnant. Join the TTC thread on here and perhaps visit your GP.

heretolearn_2

OP,

I think the reason it was assumed you would want NHS IVF treatment is that if you are concerned about saving money by buying clothes now instead of in the future, money might be tight?

In any case, what's wrong with NHS IVF?

If you've been trying for two years without success you already meet the criteria for NHS IVF. Or if you do just want to go private, the average cost per cycle is £5000, so it won't hurt to put your baby money towards that instead of clothes right now.

Info on IVF : http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/IVF/Pages/Introduction.aspx

This also includes success rates according to age. While it's put as age groups the reality is that it drops every year (not a sudden drop once you pass a certain birthday).

So if you want to maximise your chances of having a baby, stop hanging around looking at baby clothes, and get you and OH down to the GP pronto. If, for example, your OH has a problem, then either something can be done to improve it, or if it's really not going to work out you could be pregnant very quickly using AI by donor and have your baby in your arms next year. Hanging around fingers crossed won't do anything for his sperm count.

I have to agree with the others though. I think you'll find that buying clothes now will give you an instant buzz/excitement when you do it, but it will lead to additional upset when that's worn off. But you clearly just want to do it regardless of what anyone's said, and are trying to come up with all sorts of justifications for it. It's your choice, you don't have to justify it to anyone. If you want to, go ahead. But do it realising that everyone's advice is that it'll hurt your feelings worse, and you might have to deal with that. I don't think you are going to find anyone who'll say 'great idea! do it!' as you hope.

It also might be a good idea now to have a little bit of a reality check. While I'm normally all for positive thinking, insisting that you are 100% guaranteed to have a baby one way or another, isn't realistic. If it were, there wouldn't be any childless couples. Be positive, be happy, but also keep in the back of your mind that it may just not happen for you and make sure it doesn't become the over-riding thing in your life. You can be happy whatever happens - as long as you don't become bitter about things if it doesn't. Being in denial now about your chances won't help with that - as well as planning to be parents, your OH and you need to plan for how your future will be if it's without children, painful as that may be to do. More people fail with IVF than succeed. There are very few adoptions of babies, and even for older children there's a lot of hoops to jump through and not everyone can. Surrogacy etc - ok your sister has agreed, but it still might not be possible or work.

But there could be a fairly simple solution that you simply aren't looking into yet. Go to your GP.

becca0417

Come and join us on the ttc thread!

Birdie85

I agree with the others saying that you should save the money instead. I know how tempting it is to buy things; I've been TTC for 18 months and can't walk past a baby shop without desperately wanting to buy *something* and have to stop myself every time! Whenever there's a baby event on in the supermarket I have to stop myself from 'stocking up' just in case one day I have a baby to use it on... it's just plain stupid as there will always be sales on!

When we started to TTC I'll admit that I could see the sense in buying a little stockpile and the only reason I didn't was that my OH would've thought I was crazy and our flat's too small for me to hide it! As time goes on I'm really glad we've got nothing lying around to remind us that we're still not parents.

If you can deal with looking at the things you've been buying whilst still struggling to concieve, then fair play to you. Do what you like and tell yourself that you're being sensibile by spreading the cost. If you have doubts about that and dread the thought of having to get rid of it in the worst case scenario then stop buying!

IMO you should start a baby savings account so you can enjoy having a guilt free blow out when you do get pregnant and if you still can't stop looking at things online then start a secret (so people can't see your crazy! ) baby board on Pinterest and enjoy looking for your perfect nursery. You may find that just by doing that you can help yourself figure out how much you want to save to buy your perfect cot/pram etc and you may also find that your tastes keep changing and you delete Pins after some time because you no longer like the item... much better doing that than having the actual item in your spare room!

tango

I don't understand posting a thread and asking for no negative comments ? Life is not like that .You should be careful of the effect this might have on your marriage. As many have said look after yourself and let nature takes it's course . Don't buy anything yet .

Robin_TBW

Quick, take it all back to the shops now or the baby will be born upside down and we all know that a baby born upside down means it's brain is upside down too and that's just no good at all. It's bad luck. Quick, return everything!

Gloomendoom

Aren't most babies born upside down?