Disobedient children are really getting me down

montycat_2

I have a penny chart .
They get 2 pence for going to bed good and 2 pence for getting up and ready for school .
At the end of the week they count the pennies up and get to spend the pennies or ,save them .
They can see the jar filling up (or not) and they enjoy the "race" to see who has the most pennies .
Odd pennies and praise given throughout the week .

I have also taken pennies away for bad behaviour .

You need lots of coppers and may find that the first week is hit and miss but ,mine got the hint eventualy and now "earn" enough for a pack of stickers for their Doctor who books or ,ice-cream and even pulled together for a DVD rental .

Consistency is very important .

snowmaid

Ok, here we go....:p

If they don't listen, tip them upside down and give them a good smack on their bottom with a flat hand and send them to bed! Finished! Done! They cry, mummy cries, children remember hiding, next time they misbehave, give them a 'no nonsense look', they remember the hiding, and they skip along to do what they are told! Mummy happy because she is being listened to, daddy happy because he can listen to the sport, children happy because they remembered the smack and are not about to get another one!!

My children had smacks on their bottoms which I can count on one hand - they are now 19 and 20. Never left any marks, they are doing wonderfully and are well behaved, respectable young adults. Never been drunk or disorderly (daughter did tend to smoke from 18 but has stopped!),

But a well placed smack stops a tantrum right then - its not even the pain, its the shock that does it!

You do not have to batter a child, I am not talking physical abuse. There IS a huge difference.

All this pc humdrum is destroying our children quite frankly!

Ok.....here I wait for the onslaught...:rotfl:

mamashaz

Thanks for all your replies, everybody. I am off for a weekend away leaving OH to look after the children - my first weekend away in 3½ years! I will look more carefully at the replies when I get back and let you know our action plan.

Hope you all have a good weekend too!

Mamashaz

squibbs25

Snowmaid you have brightened up my day!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :T


I wish we could go back to the days where PARENTS where in control NOT the KIDS . :rolleyes:

I agree that for some kids a short sharp smack could do them the world of good.
You only have to look at the kids in my ds (9) school :eek: their behaviour leaves a lot to be desired!
Even the teachers are powerless as the kids know there is nothing the teacher can do anymore.

How many of you can remember getting the blackboard rubber thrown at you cos you were talking and shouldnt have been :rotfl:
Didnt do us any harm! We just learnt not to get caught
Oops thinnk i've wondered off subject a bit............................

Squibbs

snowmaid

squibbs25 wrote: »

Snowmaid you have brightened up my day!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :T


I wish we could go back to the days where PARENTS where in control NOT the KIDS . :rolleyes:

I agree that for some kids a short sharp smack could do them the world of good.
You only have to look at the kids in my ds (9) school :eek: their behaviour leaves a lot to be desired!
Even the teachers are powerless as the kids know there is nothing the teacher can do anymore.

How many of you can remember getting the blackboard rubber thrown at you cos you were talking and shouldnt have been :rotfl:
Didnt do us any harm! We just learnt not to get caught
Oops thinnk i've wondered off subject a bit............................

Squibbs

You know, its no wonder that families fall apart, husband/wife walks out, children in reform, children under 'councillors' etc etc! :eek:

So much time is WASTED in trying to 'reason' with a child!! I can just hear it...

MOTHER TO CHILD:

'Now dear, you can't jump out that top window because its high and the ground is made of concrete, what is concrete? Very hard stuff...anyway, you could get very hurt or even die...whats dying? dying is when your heart doesn't beat anymore and you are put in the ground..no dear....you can't stay in your room....you have to go in the ground because you would be dead and your body will start to smell.....no....a bath won't be enough....no....don't cry....no....its not necessary to wail like that.....it will only happen if you jump out the window...'

And the child is 3 !!

Its so much easier to take the child away, smack their bottom hard, point to the window and say 'NO!' You will not go near the window because if you do if you think this hiding was hard the next one will be harder!!!

Thats it! Done! Which one was the least stressful?

Penelope_Penguin

snowmaid wrote: »

You know, its no wonder that families fall apart, husband/wife walks out, children in reform, children under 'councillors' etc etc! :eek:

So much time is WASTED in trying to 'reason' with a child!! I can just hear it...

MOTHER TO CHILD:

'Now dear, you can't jump out that top window because its high and the ground is made of concrete, what is concrete? Very hard stuff...anyway, you could get very hurt or even die...whats dying? dying is when your heart doesn't beat anymore and you are put in the ground..no dear....you can't stay in your room....you have to go in the ground because you would be dead and your body will start to smell.....no....a bath won't be enough....no....don't cry....no....its not necessary to wail like that.....it will only happen if you jump out the window...'

And the child is 3 !!

Its so much easier to take the child away, smack their bottom hard, point to the window and say 'NO!' You will not go near the window because if you do if you think this hiding was hard the next one will be harder!!!

Thats it! Done! Which one was the least stressful?

Firstly, I think you're quite right - parents are in charge.

However, reasoning with children is good for them and you. That way they learn how the world works, why certain behaviour is needed, and essential negotiating skills. It also acts to distract them from the behaviour you're wanting to stop.

Since mine were small they were given reasons for things and always had the option of changing my mind with a well thought out and well reasoned arguement.

Just saying no to a child doesn't allow them to know why, and apply that knowledge to other areas of their life.

Penny. x

Errata

Have to agree with Snowmaid, a tap on the bum draws attention to the problem - words are easily ignored, especially if kids realise there are no consequences for ignoring a grown up. My sis kept a wooden spoon on the kitchen worktop - she only ever used it once, lightly, and only had to glance in its direction after that to get instant obedience.
Her two lads also picked up swearing when they went to school. They both got a warning about not using bad language at home, and the first time one of them swore at home after that they got a dose of washing up liquid in their gob! Instant cure!
She was a dog trainer, so was used to using her voice/body language/tone to obtain results!

snowmaid

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

Firstly, I think you're quite right - parents are in charge.

However, reasoning with children is good for them and you. That way they learn how the world works, why certain behaviour is needed, and essential negotiating skills. It also acts to distract them from the behaviour you're wanting to stop.

Since mine were small they were given reasons for things and always had the option of changing my mind with a well thought out and well reasoned arguement.

Just saying no to a child doesn't allow them to know why, and apply that knowledge to other areas of their life.

Penny. x

I hear what you are saying and I agree with you to a certain extent, but I feel some parents sometimes just overload their kids with unnecessary information that is just too much for them to process. They are only interested in chasing after that cat, playing with their dolls etc etc, to give them a 'thesis' may have the opposite effect with them blocking out or switching off because mother is going off on one again.

Give them little bits of information, certainly, but huge explanations etc can really have the opposite effect. As they get older and are able to concentrate and absorb more, then exaplanations are fine...(after a hiding!):D

snowmaid

Errata wrote: »

Have to agree with Snowmaid, a tap on the bum draws attention to the problem - words are easily ignored, especially if kids realise there are no consequences for ignoring a grown up. My sis kept a wooden spoon on the kitchen worktop - she only ever used it once, lightly, and only had to glance in its direction after that to get instant obedience.
Her two lads also picked up swearing when they went to school. They both got a warning about not using bad language at home, and the first time one of them swore at home after that they got a dose of washing up liquid in their gob! Instant cure!
She was a dog trainer, so was used to using her voice/body language/tone to obtain results!

Yup, we had our mouths washed out with soap! Never used a bad word again! My son tried swearing once and only once.....I just said to him that the next time I heard any bad language he would have his mouth washed out....that it wouldn't be tolerated.....he never did it again because he knew I meant business.

Tam_Lin

I still remember the smack I got from my Mum when I said the F word to her at 5 .... never again (even now!). Besides, even if my parents hadn't agreed with smacking, Nan used to smack us on a regular basis anyway - I remember the swinging hand and the fag butt hanging out of her mouth dropping ash everywhere. Hard woman, my Nan.