I need to scream

Saturnalia

It has been a hellish week in all respects.

My lovely great-uncle died suddenly. He was in his mid-80s so we knew the day would come, but he was so fit, well & healthy that it came as a total shock. He'd been to town and got his shopping in, had a chat on his doorstep with a neighbour, then a couple of days later neighbours called the police as the curtains had been closed all day. They found my uncle in his armchair, house immaculate, his washing-up drying on the draining board, an untouched cup of tea by his side. He'd obviously eaten a meal, cleaned up, made a brew and sat down to drink it and passed away there and then. It seems it was a kind ending. My uncle was happy and healthy, had been out and about in the previous few days as normal, chatted to his friends who all said he was in good spirits and good health. There was a dinner on a plate in the fridge for tomorrow's tea, my uncle didn't know tomorrow wouldn't come.

I lost a job. There is more on this in the employment forum, but basically the company I have temped for for a couple of years now was recruiting a permanent and after a lot of to-ing and fro-ing they got me in for a trial period, rolling on week-to-week. Then I found out on Wednesday that I wasn't being kept on and a new person was starting on Monday. I found this out via an e-mail asking the other receptionist to pass on info to the new starter. It was sent to the central "reception" inbox at a time it was known I would be on the desk on my own. No-one even bothered to take me to one side and let me know I was unsuccessful. The company is in uproar over the way I have been treated, but it doesn't change the fact I don't have a job now.

My uncle's funeral was Friday. My parents said to me to stay here and do the work trial, that no-one would expect me to lose the chance of a permanent job to attend, least of all my uncle himself. But had I known there was no permanent job, I could have travelled up north and been there. I missed his funeral for nothing.

We're moving to a new house. We moved in together in August and we were the first set of tenants our landlord placed here, and the house has been a catalogue of disasters since day 1. Our landlord sublets, and the woman who is the homeowner is a nightmare. She and her sons have been coming around daily to collect their mail, (they've never redirected it) and often try to barge into the house. The lock had to be changed to stop them walking in. About a month ago it escalated and they started trying to get us to leave the house. Our landlord has now taken on another property and is going to move the lot of us over there. So I am angry that he is just backing down and that we have the hassle of moving house, rather than standing up to these bullies... but on the other hand, a quiet life without those idiots in it. And a nicer, though smaller, new house that this time round the homeowner is doing up & maintaining for us rather than our landlord. It has come out that the homeowner's family is into some dodgy stuff and I think our landlord wants to be rid of any business dealings with them.

But we were told by text on Friday that we were moving today and tomorrow, only to find out today the new house isn't quite ready and we will be moving Weds/Thurs. Supposedly. There are 8 of us in 5 bedrooms - can you imagine the hassle all this has caused us?!?

And to top it all off, the homeowners came in on Friday while I was out at work, our landlord came to allow them supervised access to take away their TV and hoover, and while they were doing this they took something of mine from the cupboard. I am prepared to give the benefit of the doubt that it was lifted by accident, and give them the chance to return it before reporting it stolen, but they aren't answering our landlord's phone calls.

Anselm

Go for a walk tomorrow and scream, let it all out.
I'm very sorry to hear about your great-uncle, my condolences
I don't really know what to say about the rest, but I hope it all works out eventually for you, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

19lottie82

I’m sorry to hear about your uncle. My Grandad went in the exact same way at the age of 90. Like your Uncle he was reasonably fit, healthy, still driving and got out and about. My Mum got a phone call telling her he had drifted off in his armchair watching the TV, and had a heart attack in his sleep. He wouldn’t have felt a thing.

We all miss him so much, but we have comfort in thinking, that really, he couldn’t have picked a better way to go. He had a good life, lived to a decent age and didn’t have to suffer the indignity of dementia, care homes, not being able to look after himself or a long painful death.

motherofstudents

As above, it was a kind way for your great uncle to go but still seems so unfair. I think we can cope with one thing at a time a bit easier than when everything comes at once which it always seems to do. If you want to scream, go right ahead, shout, cry whatever but let it out.

Things will get better and all these experiences will make you a stronger person, although I know it doesn't seem so at the time.

meritaten

yes - take yourself off somewhere quiet and have a good rant and scream it out!
You have had a bad few weeks haven't you?
hopefully this new house will be the start of better times for you. perhaps a new job for a nicer company? That wasn't nice to treat you like that!
as for missing the funeral - if you were there during his life then that is what counts hun!

Bangton

Bless you sweetheart. . Sounds hellish. Reading about your uncle gave me a tear. .. at least it was kind. I wish I had some great advise but sometimes you just have to ride the awful moments out. .. words can't help. Look after yourself though. .. try and do something you enjoy or get your feet up ... poor thing x

go_cat

Send their mail back as not known at this address

Chickabiddybex

Make sure everyone has nice big poos in the loo before you leave. "Forget" to flush.

Saturnalia

So I'm already feeling like the most worthless human being out there - I missed my uncle's funeral for a job that turned out to be a lie, I'm unemployable, my depression is taking a turn for the worse which means I just want to sleep all day, I've not got any work lined up so have had to sign on again which always makes me feel like carp. This is on top of the house-move drama (I'll post more on that!) skintness and permanent singledom stuff - and my brother-in-law has decided to benefit-bash me on facebook. Yet again. He's a phallus. I'm only still his friend on there to see his pics of my nephews, if he weren't their father I'd have nothing to do with him. He is an utter bigot who has had a middle class upbringing and looks down on everyone else he can.

motherofstudents

You do seem to be going through an awful time. Life is never straighforward, we have good times and bad times and if you are suffering from depression everything will seem negative.

You missed your uncle's funeral but it was for what you thought at the time was a good reason. It doesn't mean you don't care.

You are not unemployable. You worked for two years and you said that the company was in uproar at the way you have been treated. Doesn't sound unemployable to me.

Are you receiving treatment for your depression ? Can you access therapy so you can talk through all these issues ?

Don't give up, the worst of times can change and life can become better. Don't be too hard on yourself. Does writing it down help ? Either on here and/or writing it all in a diary will give you an escape valve. I really hope you see an improvement soon and can start to enjoy life, you deserve it.

maryleerk06

Wow is all I have to see, you're an incredibly strong person!

They say bad things come in 3's! Sounds overwhelming but hopefully the house move will settle things at home. You wont be unemployed forever unfortunately if you were temping through an agency it costs a lot more money to keep a temp (due to fees they have to pay the agency) then take on a permanent position (catch there is that they would have to buy you out of your contract with the agency which is also not cheap) so don't take it personally! It's not about you it's about the company being tight! You will find another job soon.

I am very sorry about your great-uncle but it does sound like he went peacefully and didn't suffer - which is the best any of us can hope for when a relative passes.

A counselor may be a very good option while you are going through all this, someone to talk to might be a big help.